words for a "khayaal"

Coming Back To Life...with how very close

2011-01-07T09:45:00.004+05:30

A truly inspiring one by none other than Rumi. . .

.............................................................

how very close

is your soul with mine

i know for sure

everything you think

goes through my mind

i am with you

now and doomsday

not like a host

caring for you

at a feast alone

with you i am happy

all the times

the time i offer my life

or the time

you gift me your love

offering my life

is a profitable venture

each life i give

you pay in turn

a hundred lives again

in this house

there are a thousand

dead and still souls

making you stay

as this will be yours

a handful of earth

cries aloud

i used to be hair or

i used to be bones

and just the moment

when you are all confused

leaps forth a voice

hold me close

i'm love and

i'm always yours

ज़र्द ज़र्द सी दीवारों में , हरे पत्ते कैसे निकल आते हैं

ज़िन्दगी वही , मगर मायने बदल जाते हैं .....!

........................................

Almost Famous...

2009-04-11T22:05:00.007+05:30

The song which couldnt satisfy Agnee band....

Please find the tune for the song . . . here.

I would give me real pleasure if you,the reader, sing my song with the above tune...

-------------------------------------------------------

ख्वाब सा
कैसा ये चल रहा
आँख तो खुली है
मगर ये क्या हो रहा ये तो बता

होंठ तो
चुप से हैं मगर
बात फिर भी क्यूँ
खामोशी करे ये तो बता

जानता नही,मैं तो ये मानता नही
फिर भी क्यूँ लग रहा अभी ,तुमसे प्यार है

तुम जो कभी आई नही ना
तुम जो कभी थी ही नही ना
तुम जो अभी हो यही पे ना
तुमसे प्यार है...

हो ओ ओ...ख्वाब सा
कैसा ये चल रहा
यूँ मचल रहा...
छू रहा रूह को ...कहीं....

पंखों बिन वक़्त जैसे उड़े हम
सीढ़ियों बिन चाँद पर रख दें कदम
लफ़्ज़ों बिन एक दूज़े को सुने हम

आ चले आजा रे आ...
आ बहें..ख्वाब ही जिए...

आँख तो
खुली है मगर ये क्या हो रहा
ख्वाब सा कैसा ये चल रहा...

जानता नही,मैं तो ये मानता नही
फिर भी ये कह रहा अभी ,तुमसे प्यार है

तुम जो कभी आई नही ना
तुम जो कभी थी ही नही ना
तुम जो अभी हो यही पे ना
तुमसे प्यार है...

हो ओ ओ...ख्वाब सा
कैसा ये चल रहा
यूँ मचल रहा...
छू रहा रूह को ...कहीं....

-------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------

khwaab saa
kaisa ye chal raha
aankh toh khuli hai
magar ye kya ho raha hai ye toh bata

honth toh
chup se hain magar
baat phir bhi kyun
khamoshi kare ye toh bata...

jaanta nahi,main toh ye maanta nahi
phir bhi kyun lag raha abhi,tumse pyaar hai

tum jo kabhi aayi nahi na
tum jo kabhi thi hi nahi na
tum jo abhi ho yahi pe na
tumse pyaar hai

ho oo ooo...khwaab sa
kaisa ye chal raha
yun machal raha...
choo raha rooh ko ...kahin..

pankhon bin waqt jaise ude hum
seedhiyon bin chand pe rakh dein kadam
lafzon bin ek dooze ko sune hum

aa chalein,aaja re aa ...
aa bahein..khwaab hi jiye...

aankh toh
khuli hai magar ye kya ho raha
khwaab sa kaisa ye chal raha

jaanta nahi,main toh ye maanta nahi
phir bhi kyun lag raha abhi,tumse pyaar hai

tum jo kabhi aayi nahi na
tum jo kabhi thi hi nahi na
tum jo abhi ho yahi pe na
tumse pyaar hai

ho oo ooo...khwaab sa
kaisa ye chal raha
yun machal raha...
choo raha rooh ko ...kahin..

-------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------

For the lovely tune....and for a friend who inspired me to write the song

शख्स, जो मुझे मेरे होने का अहसास दिलाता रहा. . .

2008-12-14T19:00:00.002+05:30

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
पिछले ३ दिन मेरे लिए अजीब उलझने ले आ रहे थे. . .किनारे कैफे जहाँ मै अकसर चाय पीने,sunset देखने या फ़िर रात के खाने के लिए जाता हूँ,वहां जाने से अब जी घबराता है. . . सिहरन होती है. . फ़िर भी अब वहाँ ज्यादा जाने लगा हूँ . . और हर बार बेचैनी पहले से दोगुनी हो जाती है. . .

तीन दिनों पहले होटल के बाहर चबूतरे पर , मै economic times के पन्ने उलट रहा था . . . सुबह की धूप मेरे ठीक पीछे से जाकर गुदगुदा रही थी . . .सब कुछ एक idyllic setting जैसा था . . . तभी पास ही एक बुढिया बैठी दिखती है. . .एक मैली सी हरी साड़ी पहने,पुराना पूरी बांह का creamish स्वेटर और एक शाल ओढे ....उसकी साड़ी पर बने फूल धूल से मुरझा चुके थे. . . और हाँ,वो आप से ही बातें कर रही थी. . .

चाय की चुस्की लेते हुए मै उससे पूछता हूँ . . . . . . " चाय पियोगी?"
वो कुछ नही बोलती है. . .उसकी दो छोटी आन्खो और झुर्रियों में थोडी हरक़त होती है. . .मुझे अपनी हथेली खोल के दिखाती है. . .उसमे एक रूपये का सिक्का होता है. . .होटल के छोटू को मै फ़ौरन कहता हूँ कि इसको एक हाफ टी दे दो. . .छोटू दौड्ता हुआ कांच के कप में चाय लाके उसे थमा देता है. . .उसकी दोनों आन्खे फ़िर से मुझे बोलती हैं. . शायद शुक्रिया . . . और मेरे देखते ही देखते वो आखिरी बूँद तक पी जाती है. . .

मुझे अभी भी इस बुढिया के बारे में कुछ नही मालूम है. . .होटल के अन्दर नाश्ता करते हुए देखता हूँ कि
कुछ बडबडा रही है. . .कभी पास के पार्क में खेलते बच्चो को देख कर. . .तो कभी फ़िर आसपास जाने वालो को . . सोचता हूँ कि शायद उसे अपने बच्चो कि याद रही होगी .......और ये रास्ता भटक चुकी है अपने घर का .....

मुझे सिहरन होने लगती है.........जब भी नज़रें उठा के उसकी ओर देखता हूँ,ऐसा लगता है जैसे अपनी ही बेबसी ...... अपने कुछ न कर पाने को देख रहा हूँ. . . . अपनी ही आँखों से

ऑफिस जाने का टाइम हो रहा है और मै फ़िर से नज़रें बचा के उसे देखते हुआ --- अपनी दुनिया में चला जाता हूँ. . .

पूरे दिन सिर्फ़ एक ही बात गूंजती है मन में. . .70s के singer Dylan के शब्द. . ऑफिस के किसी भी काम में जरा भी interest नही आ पाता. . . . . बार बार वही बुढिया जैसे मुझे मेरे होने का अहसास दिलाती सामने आ जाती है

"How many times can a man turn his head, and pretend that he just doesn't see
How many times can a man turn his head, and pretend that he just doesn't see
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind..........."

शाम को फ़िर वही बुढिया उसी जगह पर बैठी मिलती है . . इस बार गोलगप्पे वाला उसे कन्नड़ में गाली दे रहा होता है. . . . .उसको वहाँ से जाने को कहता है जहाँ उसके customers आते हैं. . .वो कुछ भी नही बोलती है . . .सिर्फ़ लल्चायी नजरो से कभी होटल पर , कभी गोलगप्पे को देखती है. . .मै सर झुकाए चुपचाप अपने घर को निकल जाता हूँ

मै काँप रहा हूँ........अपने खोखलेपन से ..... फ़िर भी रात को उसी होटल जाता हूँ . . .सिर्फ़ ये देखने कि बुढिया वहीँ बाहर ठण्ड में तो नही सो रही है......सुकून मिलता है कि वो पार्क में सामने बने एक खुले कमरे में चली गई है. . .किसी से बिना कुछ बोले,वो सिर्फ़ इधर से उधर भट्कती है. . .मै होटल वाले से कहता हूँ कि इसको कुछ खाने के लिए दे देना. . .वो हँस देता है. . .इसके आगे मै भी कुछ नही कह पाता. . . अभी मेरा सोचना बंद हो चुका है. . .बस चुपचाप ही रहता हूँ. . .जेहन में ख्याल आता है कि ऐसे कितने और बूढे होंगे जो अभी भटक रहे होंगे..इसी तरह और फ़िर आँखें गीली हो जाती हैं............

रात यहाँ ठण्ड बढ़ जाती है और सुबह ये उसकी हालत देख कर लगता है. . .चाय पीते ही फ़िर से उसकी मैली कुचली शाल को देखता हूँ और छोटू को कहता हूँ ...एक हाफ टी,इसके लिए भी . . . इस बार मालिक बोलता है बुढिया के लिए कुछ नही है . . .उसको शीशे के कप में नही दे सकते,कुछ लोग बुरा मान जायेंगे. . .मैं सारा गुस्सा एक बार में ही पी जाता हूँ. . . . . उसको देखना अब मुश्किल हो जाता है. . . . जैसे ही उसकी ओर नज़र करता हूँ,वो बार बार मुझे मेरा ही चेहरा दिखाती है. . .ऐसा लगता है जैसे आइना देख रहा हूँ . . .

मै होटल वाले को उसके चाय के पैसे दे कर जाता हूँ ,ये कहता हुआ कि प्लास्टिक कप में दे देना. . . रास्ते में सारी दुनिया ही बुरी नज़र आती है. . . लुना पर जाते तीन लोग, गाय के साथ भगवान की फोटो लेकर भीख मांगता आदमी, कूड़ा गाड़ी वाला भैया और jogging से आते कुछ बुजुर्ग . . .इन सबके बीच सबसे बुरा ख़ुद मै ही लगता हूँ जो ये सब देख कर भी कुछ नही कर पा रहा है........शाम को बुढिया नही मिलती है. . .शायद सबने मिल कर उसे भगा दिया है. . .कही फेंक दिया गया हो. . .मेरी हिम्मत नही होती कि मै पता भी कर सकूँ..............

. . . आज सुबह जब NGO जाता हूँ तो लगभग 40 बच्चे इंतज़ार कर रहे होते हैं . . .और अन्दर जाते ही ,उनमे से कई,आकर गले लग जाते हैं . . .अच्छा महसूस होता है. . कल तक सारी दुनिया ही बुरी दिख रही थी,वैसी लगती नही है. . . फ़िर से मुझे मेरे होने का अहसास होता है. . . कही तो कुछ अच्छा है......

किसी ने ठीक ही कहा है.....

"जितनी बुरी कही जाती है,उतनी बुरी नही है दुनिया
बच्चो के स्कूल में शायद तुमसे मिली नही है दुनिया"

.......शायद...हाँ शायद ही तो....................

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Written for my guilt....for my self.

Everyday is a winding road....

2008-11-03T10:57:00.007+05:30

एक पन्ना. . . एक दिन . . . और चन्द ख़ास लोग . . . .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

आजकल ये शहर कुछ ठंडा पड़ने लगा है . . और उसके बचाव में मेरे पास दो ही सामान है,एक ३ साल पुँराना गर्म कम्बल और दूसरा मेरा two bedroom without kitchen flat. . .सुबह जब अनमने ढंग से उठते ही बिस्तर के पास रखा remote जब Vh1 classics लगाता है और Sheryl Crow को "everyday is a winding road . . . everyday is a faded sign. . ." आधी खुली आँखों से गाता देखता हूँ तो ये और पुख्ता हो जाता है की सच में ठण्ड बढ़ चुकी है और दिन भी इसी गाने के बोल जैसा ठंडा ही रहेगा . . . आज तो सूरज भी बिस्तर से बाहर नही आता लग रहा है

चाय बनाने की कोशिश में आलस दबे पाँव सामने आती है ....बशीर भाई याद आते हैं और फ़िर आनन फानन में उनके ढाबे पे पहुँचता हूँ , सिर्फ़ इशारे से उनको हाफ कप दिखाता हुआ....मेरे कुछ कहने से पहले ही एक आमलेट और हाफ चाय हाथ में आ जाती है . . . थोडी सी ठण्ड जाती हुई दिखती है... फ़िर भी वही गूंजता है--"everyday is a faded sign". . . शुरू होने वाले दिन के लिए शायद घबराहट नही,गुस्सा सा है ... एक कंप्यूटर , उसके अन्दर उंघते चन्द हज़ार लाइंस के कोड . . . फ़िर से एक मुखौटा ओढ़ना होगा शाम तक . . . उसी एयरकंडीशनर में . . . उसी छः मंजिला बिल्डिंग के किसी कोने में, कुछ सोती ख्वाहिशों के बीच . . . दिन में ठण्ड का डर घेरा बनाता हुआ आँखों के सामने घूमता है. . . .

ढाबे से वापस लौटकर देखता हूँ तो घर के सामने धोबी अपनी दुकान सजाता हुआ मिलता है. . . दो डंडो पे एक प्लास्टिक का बनाया छप्पर उसकी रोज़ी है . . . अभी अभी बच्चे का बाप बना है सो ज्यादा जिम्मेदार दिखता है . . . पहले से ज्यादा काम करता हुआ मिलता है और अब शराब पीने के लिए पैसे भी नही मांगता, कुछ दिनों से . . .

सूरज धीरे धीरे सीढिया चढ़ रहा है बादलों की . . . . और घर के ही सामने से कूड़ा-गाड़ी घंटी बजाती हुई निकलती है. . .पीछे उसके आवारा कुत्ते इस आस में कि किसी के घर कुछ अच्छा बना हुआ हो और गाड़ी वाले की कृपा हो तो बढ़िया खाने को मिल जायेगा . . उनका आवारा मसीहा उन्हें हर दिन जरूर कुछ न कुछ खाने को देता है. . . फ़िर बाद में यही जानवर गली के मुहाने पे धूप सेंकते हुए मिलते हैं. . . बेवजह एक मुस्कराहट मेरे चेहरे पर भी आ जाती है . . . अटकी हुई जो थी अब तक कही शायद. . .

सूरज साहिल से फलक तक जा पहुँचा है और पास के स्कूल में जाते बच्चे भी . . . कुछ के drivers आते साथ हैं और कुछ खुशनसीब हैं जो अपने बुजुर्गो के साथ उनकी उंगली थामे पहुचते हैं . . . ठण्ड कम होती हुई जान पड़ती है . . . एक ऐसा दिन जो बिल्कुल अनजाना मालूम हो रहा था अब किसी पुराने दोस्त के जितना जाना पहचाना दिखता है . . . .

कमरे में वापस पहुंचता हूँ तो Sheryl Crow गा चुकी हैं और आशा जी उनकी जगह ले लेती हैं. . ."रोज़ रोज़ आँखों तले, एक ही सपना पले ". . . . . सच . . . यही सच है . . .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

एक छोटा सा पन्ना अलग किया है . . . . उन्ही कुछ लोगो के लिए जिनसे मै रोज़ मिलता हूँ. . .

अचानक....... ऐसे ही

2008-10-18T21:36:00.009+05:30

एक सपना बन
कुछ उन्नींदे से लम्हो के भीतर छुप कर
हाँ, शायद तकिये के सिरहाने
मिलोगे तुम...
अचानक ....... ऐसे ही

कांच के झुमकों पे
ठहरे हुए तुम्हारे लम्स को
हाँ,शायद पिघला कर

गर नीचे ला सकूँ
वही तो ठहरे हुए मिलोगे तुम
अचानक....... ऐसे ही

एक धूल भरे बस स्टैंड पर
थोड़ा सा झुके हुए
आँखों में गई गर्द को धमकाते हुए
और आने वाली हर बस का इंतज़ार करते हुए
हाँ...शायद वही तो मिलोगे तुम
अचानक ....... ऐसे ही

हर लफ्ज़...हर सफ्हे में
पंख लगाए उड़ती हुई बारिश की बूंदों में
सोये हुए हर एक लम्हे में
रुकी हुई नज़्म में
जाते हुए कुछ वादों में
और चुनिन्दा से ख्यालों में

हाँ...शायद मिलते रहोगे तुम
अचानक....... ऐसे ही

उन्नींदे ---- Sleepy
लम्स ----- touch
सफहा -----paper

*************************************************************

This nazm trascends from a dream in the first para to the reality in the third para.....written for that transformation

सत्य तो बहुत मिले...

2008-07-21T14:53:00.005+05:30

They say . . it's all inside. . .everything is within the infinite capacities of human mind and i came across this string of beautifully woven thoughts . . .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
खोज़ में जब निकल ही आया
सत्य तो बहुत मिले . . .

कुछ नये कुछ पुराने मिले
कुछ अपने कुछ बिराने मिले
कुछ दिखावे कुछ बहाने मिले
कुछ अकड़ू कुछ मुँह-चुराने मिले
कुछ घुटे-मँजे सफेदपोश मिले
कुछ ईमानदार ख़ानाबदोश मिले . . .

कुछ ने लुभाया
कुछ ने डराया
कुछ ने परचाया-
कुछ ने भरमाया-
सत्य तो बहुत मिले
खोज़ में जब निकल ही आया . . .

कुछ पड़े मिले
कुछ खड़े मिले
कुछ झड़े मिले
कुछ सड़े मिले
कुछ निखरे कुछ बिखरे
कुछ धुँधले कुछ सुथरे
सब सत्य रहे
कहे, अनकहे. . .

खोज़ में जब निकल ही आया
सत्य तो बहुत मिले. . .
पर तुम
नभ के तुम कि गुहा-गह्वर के तुम
मोम के तुम, पत्थर के तुम
तुम किसी देवता से नहीं निकले:
तुम मेरे साथ मेरे ही आँसू में गले
मेरे ही रक्त पर पले
अनुभव के दाह पर क्षण-क्षण उकसती
मेरी अशमित चिता पर
तुम मेरे ही साथ जले . . .

तुम-
तुम्हें तो
भस्म हो
मैंने फिर अपनी भभूत में पाया
अंग रमाया
तभी तो पाया . . .

खोज़ में जब निकल ही आया,
सत्य तो बहुत मिले-
एक ही पाया ! ! !

- "अज्ञेय"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

गुहा-गह्वर ---> Cave

अशमित चिता ---> pyre,whose funeral is yet to take place . . . appropriately, according to the Hindu dharma...

भभूत ---> ashes from shrines with which Hindu worshippers smear their foreheads

Posted here for the indivisuals who ask questions from themselves and seek answers !

कभी मन में आता है . . .

2008-05-25T21:04:00.012+05:30

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

कभी जी करता है इक कागज़ बन के उड़ जाऊँ. . . हवा के साथ साथ यहाँ तो कभी वहाँ घूम आऊँ . . . फ़िर किसी दरख्त पर जाकर घोंसले के ऊपर से गुजरता फिरू . . . वहाँ रहने वाली चिडिया के बच्चो के साथ थोड़ा हँसी ठिठोली कर आऊँ और फ़िर bye कह किसी पत्ते पर भी झूल जाऊं . . . पेड़ से उतरते ही किसी शरारती बच्चे के हाथ लगूँ जो मुझे गेंद बना औरों के साथ खेल ले . . . उन्ही में से कोई मुझे अपने घर ले जाए और तरह तरह के रंगो में मुझे नहला मेरे ऊपर उगता सूरज,भूरी पहाडी और नदी के किनारे एक छोटा सा घर बनाये . . . कभी जी करता है एक कागज़ बन उड़ जाऊं. . .

कभी जी में आता है बारिश की बूंद बनूँ . . . काले कम्बल से घने बादलों की ओंट में छुपकर उनके खुलने का इंतज़ार करूँ . . . ज़मीन और आसमाँ को जोड़ती कड़ी का एक छोटा मगर मज़बूत हिस्सा बनूँ . . . गिरते ही कभी किसी प्लेन से जाके टकराऊँ तो कभी ऊँचे सफ़ेद पहाडों से लडूँ . . . मगर किसी शहर पहुँचने में डरूँ . . . बिजली के बड़े बड़े तारो में अक्सर अटक सा जो जाऊँगा,अपने साथी बूंदों के साथ . . और फ़िर गिर पडेंगे हम सब, जैसे एक साथ ही मरने के लिए पैदा हों . . . कभी खुशकिस्मत रहूँ गर तो किसी गरीब के टपकते हुए झोपड़े से नीचे ज़मीन को छू लूँ . . . और अगर नही रहूँ तो किसी छत पे पड़ा अपने ही सूखने का इंतज़ार करूँ,सुबह की कड़ी धूप का . . . मुझे कभी कभी मन में आता है कि बारिश की एक बूँद बनूँ . . .

कभी जी में आता है एक छोटी सी डोर बनूँ . . . जिसे सुई में पिरो के किसी कपड़े को मजबूती मिले या उसकी उधडी हुई सीवन को बाहरी दुनिया से आती मुसीबतों से लड़ने का हौसला मिले . . . कभी न मिलने वाले दो सिरों के बीच में मेल करूं . . . कभी ख़ुद में ही उलझ कर अपने आप से ही लड़ पडूं या जुड़कर औरो के साथ,एक हल्की चादर बनूँ जो किसी सोते हुए को थोडी ही सही,मगर गर्मी दे सके . . . कभी मन में आता है कि एक छोटी सी डोर बनूँ . . .

कभी जी में आता है नया एक रिश्ता बनूँ . . . ऐसा जो अभी तक मौजूद नही है . . . भाई,पति,दोस्त . . . इन सारे रिश्तो से परे ऐसा रिश्ता जो किसी कमरे,किसी तस्वीर के frame या फ़िर किसी के पर्सनल diary में बंद शब्द के जैसे बंधा ना हो . . . ऐसा रिश्ता जो ख्याल के जैसे ही आजाद हो और खुली हवा में या उल्काओं में ,जहाँ उसका जी चाहे घूम रहा हो . . . ना ही रिश्ते का कोई खट्टा,मीठा या नमकीन स्वाद हो . . . और ना ही वो रिश्ता चुम्बक के जैसे कुछ खींचता फ़िरे . . . मगर हाँ,ऐसा रिश्ता बनूँ जो कभी न भूलने वाली एक याद बनके अपने निशाँ सफ़ेद कागज़ पे छोड़ जाए . . . हमेशा के लिए . . .
कभी जी में आता है कि एक रिश्ता बनूँ . . .

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Written for a metaphor of Gulzar " एक सौ सोलह चांद कि रातें . . . एक तुम्हारे काँधे का तिल . . ." in the movie "Izaajat"

At 28, a paraplegic, she makes her living from the stock markets

2007-12-24T18:03:00.000+05:30

हर घडी खुद से उलझना है मुक़द्दर मेरा...
मैं ही कश्ती हूँ .... मुझी में है समन्दर मेरा!
--निदा फाजली

[... I struggle with myself in every moment of my life ....with the challenges which may be physical or mental...this struggle has got so much into my life that it has become my destiny to entangle with them all the times....and while taking them head-on, I know that inside me is the boat to sail through and the ocean of difficulites as well....!! ]

Sujata Burla's life took an ugly turn on June 9, 2001. On a pilgrimage to Shirdi, where the Sai Baba temple in Maharashtra is located, from Hyderabad, she met with an accident.

Four months later, the doctors and physiotherapists treating her told her she could not walk for the rest of her life. The accident had turned her into a paraplegic. It meant Sujata was immobile below the shoulders. She was just 21.

Soon people who she thought were her friends abandoned her and Sujata was left alone. Compounding her tragedy was her father's death in March 2004. Not one to be easily cowed down by her circumstances, she started learning about the stock markets that year.

Now she trades like a pro and earns anywhere between Rs 200,000 and Rs 250,000 every month. On a day like Wednesday, September 19, 2007, when the Nifty was up 186 points, Sujata made a cool Rs 600,000 in a single day. She has still not sold her position.

"I expect the Nifty to touch 4800 in the next two, three trading days. I will sell my position then," Sujata told this correspondent in a telephone conversation from her home in Hyderabad.

Sujata moves around in a wheelchair and does not regret this fact. Financial independence is what she strove for and that is exactly what she has got through sheer determination and discipline.

How do you cope with such a trauma?

Before, I could not even write or type. Now I have got used to it. I can easily type and trade on my computer and laptop.

In the first four months after my accident I did not even know I would never be able to walk again. I went into a depression feeling that this was the end of life for me.

Does your condition make you dependant on others?

I am the kind of person who doesn't like to depend on anybody -- whether financially, physically or mentally. So, it was very tough for me to physically depend on somebody. I soon realised that financial independence could get me much more freedom in life.

So I started thinking how I could earn money. I worked with my sister, who is a fashion designer, and learned a bit about it. I soon started a textile workshop where I employed 10 people. However, the workers took undue advantage of my physical disability leading to losses. Since I wanted to be independent I started moving towards stock market trading. The textile workshop business is now my secondary business.

How did you get into the stock markets?

I realised that if at all I have to succeed in life I would have to do something for which I don't have to depend on anybody. Through a friend of mine I came to know about the stock markets in 2004. It took me almost a year to understand the various nuances of the stock market and it was in 2005 that I actually started trading.

What was your first trading/investment experience like?

My first investment was in blue chip companies like Reliance Industries , Hero Honda, ACC and IDBI. However, the Rs 100,000 that I invested did not earn me any returns. It was my first investment and I did not know when to sell or the right time to sell my stocks. That learning experience helped me to hone my skills in the stock markets.

How much do you make from trading in stocks now?

My turnover for a month is over Rs 3 crore. But my actual investment is only Rs 15 lakhs. I make anywhere between 10 to 15 per cent per of this investment per month. It is like I earn 20 to 30 per cent sometimes and lose 10 per cent at other times. This takes my average monthly return to 10 to 15 per cent every month of my total investment of Rs 15 lakhs.

Could you share your success mantras for our readers?

Read all the advice that you get from various business television channels, newspapers, friends who understand the stock markets but be extremely cautious and disciplined when you act on this advice.

Never extend your trading bets beyond your means. I speak to my friends; get investment and trading ideas from my brokerages (she is registered for online trading with Reliance Money, Indiabulls Kotak Securities).

How would you identify yourself as a stock market player?

I am a short-term trader; I am surely not a long-term investor.

Do you trade intra-day?

Well, if my bets appreciate considerably then I take home my profits on the same day. Otherwise, I wait for my investments to bear at least 7 to 8 per cent returns before I actually sell it.

Intra-day trading, though, is very risky as most traders tend to burn their fingers trying to time the market. And I have lost quite a bit of money trading intra-day in the cash market, believe me.

How much have you deposited with all these brokerage companies?

As I told you earlier, my total deposit with all the three brokers is Rs 15 lakhs. Using this amount I buy Call Options within my overall limits. There is no concept of margin money in options. Whatever money I have earned till now is only through Option trading. You can do risk-less trading in Options using a small amount.

As a safe strategy I never write a Put Options. Put Options are very risky. That way I am a very safe trader. In Puts I can even make 50 per cent a month on my investments; but then I can lose the same amount too. My principle is if I make money I make it; I shouldn't lose money at all.

I usually write a Call Option on the Nifty. I am always long (buying first and then selling at a higher price to make profit) on the markets and whenever the market is too overbought. I wait for the markets to cool down.

The last two days turned out to be very good for the stock markets. How much did you make in these two days?

Actually, it is celebration time for me. I made 80 per cent returns today (September 19, the Nifty was up 186 points or 4.09 per cent). Most of the Nifty Calls went up by 80 per cent today. However, I did not invest the entire Rs 15 lakhs because I am sitting on a bit of cash as the markets have run up too fast in the recent past. I invested only 50 per cent of Rs 15 lakhs on which I made an 80 per cent return (Editor's note: That's a cool Rs 600,000; don't rub your eyes in disbelief; you read it right!).

However, there are times when I lose a big amount of money in trading. Such gains happen only once in a lifetime. The losses that I make during the year sort of offsets such gains.

But remember that these things don't happen every other day. I have still not booked my profits. I am still holding on my positions. I plan to sell them after a day or two because I feel that the markets can still go up -- at least for the next two, three days -- based on the strong momentum. I am expecting the Nifty to go up to 4800 at least.

Actually, the target given by one of my brokerage houses is 4900 but I am going to book profits at 4800 levels. Too much greed is also not good, is it?

Moreover, it is the festive season and Diwali is just round the corner. Normally, the markets go up during Diwali. There will be some profit booking (a situation when a trader sells her/his stocks at a profit) tomorrow and the day after that but the general mood is likely to remain bullish till Diwali. I don't expect a market crash or correction till Diwali.

Do you stay with your family?

I stay with my mother and cousin Priya. My father passed away on March 20, 2004. I have a sister and two brothers but they are all married and lead separate lives.

Do you have friends?

Before the accident I had many friends but they all ran away after my accident. They were all false friends. People like this go where there is money, success and happiness. People like these don't chase failures.

After my accident I have a different set of friends. I have a few friends now but they are my true friends. They have been with me through my bad times. They really care for me. I can count Pradeep and Ashish amongst my true friends now.

I have taken this interview from rediff.com, dated september 20th,2007....for the benefit of those who are still unaware of power of investment in the stock market... and moreover...the human will !!

देखो....

2007-12-02T12:58:00.000+05:30

Five triplets presented here are different times of childhood...each in itself has got distinctive and more than one meaning ,yet each one of them is connected to the previous one.

********************************************************************
दूर देश से आई ठंडी हवा गुनगुना रही
और नन्हें सपनो की बौछार में भीग रहे शैतान

देखो!...नींद से अलसाई आँखे,हौले से खुल रही हैं

आज तारे एकटक बैठे हुए
और रात भी ठहरी ठहरी हुई

देखो!..."snow white" खेल रही है...

अपनी शक्लें बदल रही है माटी
और कभी गुडिया तो कभी गाड़ी में बदल रही माटी

देखो!...नन्ही हथेलियों से क्या क्या बन रही है माटी

वक़्त की स्लेट पे वह सुबह-ओ-शाम ख्वाब खुरच रहा
और पंचियो से नर्म रुई उधार ले, कभी कभी मिटा रहा

देखो!...उसकी लडखडाती "पेंसिल" कमाल कर रही है

बादलों की खिड़की से सूरज ख़ुशी-खुशी झांक रहा
और हरे पत्तों पे गिरे रात के आन्सुओ को गुदगुदा रहा

क्यूँकि देखो!... "बच्चे" school जा रहे हैं . . .

********************************************************************

Written for five kids.....

और सारे बडे लोगो के लिए निदा फाजली ने लिखा है...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

बच्चों के छोटे हाथों को,चांद सितारे छूने दो,
चार किताबे पढ़के वो भी हम जैसे हो जायेंगे....

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

.....कि अब जी नही लगता

2007-10-01T08:16:00.000+05:30

इन् लम्हों के बीच से
आओ अब चलें,

कि जीं नही लगता...

लम्हों की ये बूंदे,
कहीं गुम ना हो जाएँ...
हिफाज़त से मर्तबान में रख लो
और आदत से कभी कभी चखते रहना !

लेकिन,आओ अब चले
कि इन तारो के बीच
जी नही लगता...

चारो तरफ बिखरी
उनकी ज़िया..उनकी रौशनी..
घर अपने अँधेरे से मिलाए
क्यों ना उससे एक दिया जलाये

आओ अब चले....
कि इन् हवाओ पे
इस चटकीले धनुक पे
कब से दौड़ते कूदते...
अब जी नही लगता

पाँव में छाले पड़ गए हैं
क्यों ना अब मरहम करें

लेकिन आओ अब चले

बहते पानी की धार में
उदास बैठे हुए साहिल से लड़ते...लहरों कि मार में
कि अब जीं नही लगता.....

क्यों ना खारे पानी से
बाग़ के सूखे फूलों में
एक उम्र भरें...

आओ अब चले...

एक नज़्म की गोद में
कलम के आँचल में

कुछ सफ्हो की लोरी सुने
कुछ लफ्जों की शैतानी करे
सहर होने तक...
यूं ही हम नज़्मे कहते रहे
यूं ही हम नज़्में लिखते रहे
..............................
आओ अब चले
के जी नही लगता.....

ज़िया(Ziyaa) --->Brilliance
सफहा(Safha)--->lines of a poem
नज़्म(Nazm)--> a specific form of poetry
सहर(Saher)--->Dawn
धनुक(Dhanuk)-->Rainbow

Written for my imagination....who refuses to sleep!

*********************************************************

In lamho ke beech se
aao abb chale,

ke jee nahi lagta

lamhon ki ye boonde,
kahin gum na ho jaayen...
hifaazat se martbaan mein rakh lo
aur adat se kabhi kabhi chakhte rahna

lekin,aao abb chale
Ke in taaro ke beech

jee nahi lagta...

charo taraf bikhri hai
unki ziyaa..unki roshni..
apne ghar ke andhere se milaaye
kyu na usase ek diya jaalaye

aao abb chale
ke inn havao pe
iss chatkeele dhanuk pe
kab se daudte koodte...
abb jee nahi lagta

paanv mein chaale pad gaye hain
kyu na abb marham karein

Lekin aao abb chale

bahte paani ki nukeeli tez dhaar mein
udaas baithe hue sahil se ladte..lahro ki maar mein
ke abb jee nahi lagta

Kyu na khaare paani se
baag ke sookhe phoolon mein
ek umr bharein

Aao abb chale...

Ek nazm ki goad mein
kalam ke aanchal mein

kuch safho ki lori sune
Kuch lafzo ki shaitaani kare
Saher hone tak...
yun hi hum nazmein kahte rahein
yun hi hum nazmein likhte rahein

...............................................................
aao abb chale
Ke jee nahi lagta

*********************************************************

"He called me shorty"

2007-07-27T07:38:00.000+05:30

Fifteen years later, AMITABH BACHCHAN remembers his co-star and best friend, Amjad Khan

I FIRST met him on the outdoors of Sholay. He had an endearing presence, one that was immediately likeable. A quality that most succumbed to. I was keen on knowing who he was from day one because he was going to play the role that I had liked best: Gabbar Singh.

His credentials preceded him. Salim-Javed, the writers of the film, had recommended him after seeing his work on stage. They spoke of him in glorious terms. In hindsight, how prophetic it turned out.

We loved every thing about him during the making of the film-his persona, his style, his performing capabilities. But we were skeptical of his voice. We felt it was too feeble for a frame so large, and for Gabbar. But he disproved us. That very voice became the most attractive part of the character and, indeed, the film.

Music of a film coming out on 33-1/3 rpm records was a common feature in those days. But for Sholay, the dialogues of the film came out first, and most of the dialogues were Amjad's. Till date, it is only his dialogues that remain in our memory.

Amjad made friends easily and trusted them without question. It came naturally to him. He would hurt when they betrayed him, but was never vengeful.

The tea industry in India needed to acknowledge him for their sales. He drank gallons of it during the course of a day. Tea and his bank of lighthearted banter were two constants in his life.

He possessed great intellect. His study curriculum and his interest in the written word, not necessarily in English, were other attributes. Urdu poetry and music of the semi-classical nature found a prominent space in his daily routine. Ghazal evenings were often organised on the terrace of his Bandra house; he was in his element then.

He voluntarily helped people. Not just friends, people. I know for sure that there were several occasions when he would work in a project purely because it would bring someone out of financial trouble, knowing well that the project would perhaps be harmful for his own commercial standing. In the very selfish and materialistic environment of today's world, it was hard to believe that someone would actually risk his reputation for an unknown.

In times of trouble, you could trust him to be standing beside you. It was ironic and sad therefore for me to note, that when he had his car accident driving to Goa for the shoot of a film that he and I were starring in, there was no one beside him. He was in bad shape. The accident had occurred some miles away from the city. His wife and little Shadaab, his son, were with him. Stranded on the highway, it was a Herculean task for him to find help. By the time we got him to the Goa Hospital in Panjim, a unit in those days devoid of sophisticated medical equipment, he was slipping into a coma.

One of the most difficult decisions of my life at that moment was to take the responsibility of signing the document on behalf of him and his family, for surgical procedures to be initiated. There was no one around. His family was in Bombay and could only come in the next day, and those for whom he had come to work for, did not want to take the risk.

The hours that went by during the surgery, as they repaired his broken ribs and pierced lung, were a nightmare. When he made it out of the OT, I drank myself silly that night and wept, and prayed that he would survive. He was a tough cookie; he made it.

He was shifted to Bombay soon after and he recuperated at Nanavati Hospital. I just didn't have the courage to go and meet him; reverse withdrawal symptoms. It was difficult to see this strong specimen of masculinity, lying limp, weak and defeated. Until, he wrote me a note from his bed, the contents of which I cannot disclose, and I went across to see him. He was fine. The banter was back, as was that ever present mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

During the making of one of the several films we did together, I think it was Parvarish by Manmohan Desai, we were on a set of the climax where a mock submarine had been constructed. As was the temperament on most Manji's films, other than him, we all would find the situations he created greatly illogical. (It's another matter he would always have the last laugh; because all his illogic eventually rattled the cash registers at the box office.) This one was no different.

We suddenly discovered that all the artists on set were Librans-Shammiji (Shammi Kapoor), Vinod Khanna, Amjad, Kader Khan and myself. So we quickly and very wittily invented a little ditty 'We are crazy Librans (beeping) up this film!' sung to the tune of a famous World War II, British motivational battle song. This became our signature greeting every time we found ourselves in similar extenuating circumstances and we would have a good laugh over it.

In 1982, I had my accident on the sets of Coolie. Coming out of the ICU after two months, one of the first to meet me in hospital was Amjad. As he walked into the room at Breach Candy Hospital, he burst into "We are crazy Librans". It was perhaps the first time the nurses saw a smile on my face.

He left us suddenly. Unexpectedly, without warning. In his sleep. On hearing the news, I rushed to his house and up to his bedroom. It was difficult to imagine he had gone. This wonderful friend, this great companion and colleague just lay there as though in deep sleep.

And as I looked on, I almost felt that any moment he would open his eyes and with his mischievous grin greet me with a "Hi Shorty".

from The Indian Express

Ek Ghazal..Sadak

2007-06-10T16:08:00.001+05:30

**********************************************************
Ulajhi hui raaho per,kaisa ye tamasha hai
Jab waqt thahrata hai,raahi badh jaata hai

eento ki bani sadkein,paati kab manzil hai
Jab saans ukhadti hai,darwaaja bulaata hai

sookhe kuch patton ko,havao ne udaaya hai
Jab dagar thithurati hai,patjhad bhi rulaata hai

mudte-chalte raaho ko ,aj bechaini ka saaya hai
Jab din ki lau bujhti hai,makaa apna yaad aata hai

panchi ya musafir ho,'khayaal' thoda hi saath nibhaya hai
Jab raat amavas ki hai,chand bhi kaha aata hai !!!

**********************************************************

उलझी हुई राहों पर,कैसा ये तमाशा है
जब वक़्त ठहरता है,राही बढ जाता है

ईंटो कि बनी सडकें,पाती कब मंज़िल है
जब सांस उक्ढ़ती है,दरवाजा बुलाता है

सूखे कुछ पत्तों को,हवाओ ने उड़ाया है
जब डगर ठिठुरती है,पतझड़ भी रुलाता है

मुड़ते-चलते राहों को ,आज बेचैनी का साया है
जब दिन कि लौ बुझती है,मकाँ अपना याद आता है

पंछी या मुसाफिर हो, 'ख़याल' थोडा ही साथ निभाया है
जब रात अमावस कि है,चांद भी कहाँ आता है !!!

**********************************************************

Bewajah

2007-04-22T17:31:00.001+05:30

कहती है खामोशियाँ ये बात इस तरह
लेता है किसी का ये क्यों अहसान बेवजह !

चलते हुए तेरे कदमो से राहे गूंजती रही
कोई और जो चला तो हुई सुनसान बेवजह !

किल्कारिया भरते थे जो लम्हे सभी...कभी
सूजी है आज आंखें,रोये वो नादान बेवजह !

ढलता रहा सूरज कि तरह,बिखरा के रौशनी
ये रात क्यों आयी...हो तुझसे अनजान बेवजह !

जाना तो था 'ख़्याल ' साथ बहोत दूर तक हमे
चलो ढूँढता हूं अब "वो" मेहमान बेवजह !

*****************************************************

Kahtee hai khamoshiyan ye baat iss tarah
leta hai kissi ka ye kyu ahsaan bewajah

Chalte hue tere kadmo se raahe goonjti rahi
koi aur jo chala toh hui sunsaan bewajah

Kilkaariya bharte the jo lamhe sabhi kabhi
sooji hai aj aankhe,roye jo naadan bevajah

Dhalta raha sooraj ki tarah,bikhra ke roshni
Ye raat kyu aayi...ho tujhse anjaan bevajah

Jaana toh tha saath 'khayaal' bahot door tak hume
Chalo dhoondhta hoon abb woh mehmaan bewajah

Ek Geet

2007-03-11T17:18:00.000+05:30

Dhoop ki lakeer pe jume hue se kuch khwaab
.......andhere ko pasand nahi aaye

Raat ki dahleez pe sooraj ke ugne ke aasar
........andhere ko pasand nahi aaye

Panchiyon ke badlon ko jeet lene ke armaan
........andhere ko pasand nahi aaye

Ghonsle ke deewaro ko rang lagaane ke aas
........andhere ko pasand nahi aaye

Tap-tap tapkati baarish ki boondo ka sachcha sa sangeet
Door se aati havaon mei mitti ka saundha swaroop
.......andhere ko pasand nahi aaye

Akele raaste pe chalne ka kiya tha jo pran
Ujaale se milaane ka diya tha jisne vachan
Woh Raasta aur uska Jeevan
.......andhere ko pasand nahi aaye

Rahte hue iss andhere mein hi
kyu naa hum holi manaye
Aao andhera jaalaye
Aao andhera jaalaye !

Naa pade fir koi khwaab kaala
Aur raat ko bhi de sooraj ujiyaara
Tinka tinka fir ghosle ka rangeen ho
Aur goonjta boondo ka sangeet ho

.......Aao andhera jaalaye
.......Aao andhera jaalaye!

The inspiration for this poem was a "thick bundle of sunrays" peeping through the half open door and coming into my room...

Written for Vijay

Kuch Baatein

2007-01-29T12:26:00.000+05:30

Kuch subah ki dhundh thii...
Aur yaad hai mujhe..
Tum....ek Ghajal sii
Be-fikr...Be-parwaah..
So rahee thi....

Kuch tha aalas..
Tumhari ubhari aankho ko
Mathe pur padte bul ko
Kabhi Kabhi yun hi aai
Ek gahrii sii hunsi ko..

Kuch tha aalas...
Khidki se aati
Kabhi Kabhi tumhe pareshaan kartee
Ek tukdee dhoop ko...

Aur kuch tha aalas....
Tumhare chehre pe lahraate
Ek sharaarati baal ko...

Nanhi-garm saanso se jo
Hil toh raha tha
Naa jaane kyu pur
Chehre se door nahi hut raha tha

Kaaphi der tak...yun hi
Mai bhi ek-tak saa dekhta rah gaya
Unn saanso se idhar udhar
Kabhi larazte...simat-te ya mudte
Kabhi yaha kabhi woha bhaagte
Ussi ek sharaarati baal ko

Apni bhi avaragi kuch aisee thi..
Pooch baithe ussi se "Karoge dostee"

Ek saans baad
Kuch muda tuda woh baal
Ek til ke ooper se gujarata hai
Aur kahta hai

Theek hai
hui chalo tumse dostee
karo lekin ek promise

Koshish kii bahot aajtak
Lekin kabhi iss ghazal se
Baat nahi ho saki...

Thodi himmat karke maine socha
Aakhir tumhara naam toh jaan hiii loon
Thoda iss anokhe baal ko khush kar doon

Lekin ,chupke se...jab bhi
tumhe sote hue dekhta hoon
Aur jab bhi chehre pe khelte hue
Uss baal ko dekhta hoon

Kuch baatein karnee thi jo
Kuch kisse kahne the jo
Unko bhool jaata hoon

Aur jab tumhaari aankhein khultee hai
Daahine haath ki kissi unglee se
Uss sharaarati baal ko chehre se hata ke
Bade kareene se zulphon mein baandha jaata hai

Mai uss plane ki khidki se bahar dekhta hoon
Ye sochta hua..
Kya tumharee aankhein khulii hui thi
Jab hum kuch batein kar rahe the?

Written for a co-passenger in Air Deccan flight.....

Kavita

2007-01-20T19:43:00.001+05:30

शब्दों के बाग़ से चुने कुछ कलियाँ
गुथी एक माला
और यूं बुनी है एक कविता

एक कविता ,धीमे धीमे...
जिसने सीखा महकना
फूलों से दोस्ती करना
धागों से गुफ्तगू करना
रंगो में घुल घुल हंसना

कुछ लिखा,कुछ ना लिख पाय
कुछ कह दिया,कुछ भूल गया
कुछ सुना गया,कुछ अन्सुना रह

तुम्हारे लिए तो बुनी थी शब्दों कि माला
तुम्हारे लिए ही नर्म खुशबु भरी थी

शायद लगा मुझे के
तुम इससे अपने करीब पाओगे
इस रंगभरी कविता को
अपने होठो पे सजाओगे

आह.....तुमने तो छुआ भी नही
मेरा दिया तोहफा तो खुला ही नही

दम घुट गया उसका धीमे धीमे
लेटे लेटे एक "gift wrapper " से कमरे में

सो गयी थक-कर
वो दो आंखें पीली पीली
झिन्झोड़ा आज बहुत...उठी नही

एक फूल भी नसीब नही हुआ
उस माला को ..जो फूलों से भरी थी
काश !आज भी तुम आ जाओ
उस कविता को सुर्ख फूल दिखा जाओ

क्या खबर...शायद फिर से उखड़ी साँसे आ जाये
क्या खबर...शायद फिर से दो धड़कने हिला जाये!

...........

Ek adhoora Sunset

2007-01-17T15:23:00.000+05:30

One of those lazy winter evenings,I was having tea from my favorite tea shop and from a particular view point I could see this sunset.......this time Sun tried hiding behind a tall building......or in other words,my view of sunset was hindered by this tall building.....i could write following on my paper before i fell ill with severe cold....leaving my sunset as incomplete

Thand se kaanpta sooraj aaj
Apne ghonsle mein nahi aaya
Garm bhavnaao ke eento se bane ghar
Jaane kyu utara chala gaya

Lagta tha
Uska intzaar ho raha tha besabri se..
Tabhi chat ka darwaaja khula bhi rakha tha

Bechara hulke narangi rang se bandha hua
Chupchaap..kaanpta hua sa..
Khule darwaaje ko khatkhataata raha

Kuch der mein ek anokhi see avaaz suni

Undar gaya toh dekha kuch jalte se kadahe
Ek aag ki bhatti bhi saath laga rakhi thi

Wohi anokhi avaz kahe jaa rahe thi
Kya maanoge meri baat
Aaj jo garmi hai thodee bahot tumhare pass
De do udhar...
Hum pigghlakar nikhar denge tumhe

Darta sooraj....usne bharosa kiya
hami bhi bhar dii

Aur gulabi sa ujiyaara fail gaya
Shaam ka naam jisse diya gaya

Another Sunset from my eyes...to readers

Avaaz

2007-01-17T14:15:00.000+05:30

Gumsum see ek chidiya thi
Sab ke liye paheli thi
Kuch ke liye jaadui pudiya thi
Gumsum see ek chidiya thi

Saara jungle saathi tha
Titli ho phool ho chahe woh haathi tha

Sab yun hi poocha karte

Tum humare jaise kyu na rahte
Naa hi raaston pe nikalte
Aur naa kuch avaaz hi karte
Jaane kyu gumsum raha karte

Dekho timtim taaron ko
Poocho in anokhe nazaaron ko
Kahtee hai ye raat suhaani
Poori karo apni tum kahaani


Gumsum Chidya kahtee hai

Apnee avaz sunaati hoon
Kuch jaroori bataati hoon
Jab Sab sapno mein khoye rahte hain
Main pratidhvaniyan suntee hoon
Sun sun kar hi hunstee hoon
Aur sun sun kar hi rotee hoon

Kya aie chand sitare
Kya aie anchue nazare
Aur tum raat suhaani
Sunogi meri kahaani...

Darkar bole saare ye
Rahna khush aur chamakna hai hume
Kabhi fursat mille toh sunte hai
Tumhare bikhre paron ko jodte hai


Jo gumsum see chidiya thi
Jo jaadu ki pudiya thi
avazon se bahar nikal nahi paayi
Unki baucharon mein khud ko akela hi paayi

Tabhi ek paakhi usse raat nazar aayi

Door desh se aayi hoon main
Aapus mein chal baat karein
Avazon ko mil baat karein

Kuch dard mera tu le le
Aur kuch gumo ko mujhe de de

Lambi rahi woh raat suhaani
Kahte rahe woh apni kahaani 

Baandhi unn kisson se aati avazon ko
Aur bikhera bahte nadi naalon pe

Subah hui sab soch rahe the
Phool,titli haathi bhi dekh rahe the

Chidiya aaj chahchaha rahi thi
Khoob saari hunsi bikhere hi jaa rahi thi
Door desh jo paankhi aaya tha
Chua apni aankh toh geela paya tha

Aur baaki aaj bhi sab soch rahe....

For friends...who continue to help me whenever they listen my "Avaz"

Triveni......The three liners

2006-11-25T23:23:00.000+05:30

What is a Triveni?

This craft owes it's existence to legendary Gulzar....Gulzar named
this three liner form as "triveni" ..the third line should open a new perspective or unfold completely new dimension or simply give twist to the upper two line(which are like sher... complete in their own way)

In words of Gulzar.....

त्रीवेनी नाम इसलिये दिया था कि संगम पर तीन नदियाँ मिलती हैं.गंगा जमुना और सरस्वती. गंगा और जमुना के धारे सतह पर नज़र आते हैं लेकिन सरस्वती जो तक्षशिला के रस्ते बह कर जाती थी, वो ज़मीन्दोज़ हो चुकी है. त्रीवेनी के तीसरे मिसरे(LINE) का काम सरस्वती दिखाना है जो पहले दो मिस्रो मे छुपी हुई है...

So here i am presenting few of my own Triveni's...on different topics

******विराम******

अपने पराये भूल के उसके पीछे भागा
सपने में भी सपने के पीछे भागा

जिन्दगी कि कलम विराम कब लगायेगी???

******छाँव******

ये लम्हा कभी धूप में वो लम्हा कभी छांव में
ये धूप छांव का खेल,चलता है जिन्दगी तेरे गाँव में

तभी तू मुझे अक्सर श्वेत और श्याम नज़र आती है!

******मौन की गूँज******

दो उदास आंखे..रात की खामोशी
करती रहती बातें...कुछ कही- अनकही

मौन की गूँज कल पूरी रात सुनायी दी

******शब******
दिन में भी शब आती.. जाती रही
ख्वाब जो उमड़ते थे..उन्हें पिघलती रही

इतनी आंच कहा से आयी..पता ना चला

******उम्मीद******

उसी उम्मीद ने बे-वजह नाउम्मीदगि दिलाई
किसी नाउम्मीद ने बा-वजह उम्मीदगी सिखाई

ये अजीब खेल...ख़त्म होते ही शुरू हो जाता है!

******आंचल में मोती******

ख्यालों में उसके आंचल में मोती पिरोता रह....सारी उम्र
ख्यालों में उसके दामन में हीरे भिगोता रह....सारी उम्र

मरा मिल मजनू वो आज.....हीरे-मोती दो रोटियां ना खरीद सके!

******रस सूख गया******

तेरी मासूमियत मह्काने के लिए दिए थे जो रस
धीरे धीरे सूखने लगे जब बीते कुछ बरस

आखिर तेरी खुशियाँ किसी और को भाती क्यों नही?

More to come in subsequent blogs.....

The Guardians

2006-10-21T11:40:00.000+05:30

Even before opening my eyes
I felt that warmth and protection
Behind the womb of the mother
I was safe.....well guarded

Evil viruses or agonizing dreams
Lost in a fair or lots of despair
Drawn in Confronts or shame by affronts
Beneath the armour of father
I was safe.......well guarded

As my wings become stronger
The guardians push me to go higher
"Learn the cruel rules
May the guardian angel be with you"
I laughed with bloated pride
"Let the angels be with you"

As I grow up learning
Sometimes pain creeps-in the veins
Sometimes darkness penetrates the soul
Sometimes devils start barking in the mind
Sometimes false expectations squeeze the heart

I want to reach behind that safe womb
I want to go beneath that impeccable armour

And then
I could feel in dreams
Guardian angel collecting sorrows happily
Filling the punctured soul by honey

Oh my angel...
This selfish spirit,
needs you tonight
Please visit for a moment
And May the life freeze at that moment........

Written for the guardian angel of everybody...May they visit earth this diwali

Only If I Could.....

2006-10-14T22:45:00.000+05:30

The Door through which the stream of dreams flow
Was knocked ....

Stunned was I...
Two starry eyes pleaded

"Create a picture of mine
but I don’t have a dime"

Her wavering pitch black hair
Made the arrogant air
......sublimed

Oh...the forehead was shining
Like the scorching sun whining

The eyebrows were dark and deep
The moon was half asleep

I started getting drowned
in the eyes black-brown

Those moving lips
almost brought an eclipse

The Vibrant shiny earring
Created a whirlwind

To hear her chuckle
The laziest atom of mine...struggles

Midway through the painting
She desired to leave

I will come again
to feel my beauty...she said
only if I could.......
...........................

I never saw that spasmodic creation of mine
Alas.....only if I could

Written for incomplete but a perfect picture

Thanks to Radhikaji for making grammatical corrections

But Seriously....

2006-10-01T22:27:00.000+05:30

I was thinking about this from a long time...what shall i write for my 50th entry on this blogspot...how magnanimous this should be...then I got a Birthday gift and I am unwrapping it in front of you...

maine socha ek tohfa dun
tere zanmdin ke aagman par
bahut dhundha par paya nai
kuch aisa jo la sake khushi tere honthon par

janta hun teri khushi hai kahan
par vo tujhe de nahi sakte ham
........magar................
khushi insaan ke dil main hoti hai
man le agar to sanvar jaye tera ghar

teri duniya main to sab kuch hai
khuli aankho se tu dekhe gar
jo pa nahi saka use bhul ja bas
ban jayega fir khushi bhara har manjar

man meri baat tere sapne fir se sajenge
teri duniya main fir se naye phool khilenge
zindagi adhyayon main hi aati hai
iske panne jald hi badlenge

hamare liye to har din tu naya tohfa lata hai
har din fir se janmdin ho jata hai

Zindagi uski hi hai jisse koi aa ke kahe
dekh tere hone se maine kya paya hai
Garmi ki is tej dhup jaisi jindagi main
tu ham doston ka ghana saya hai

Dua itni hi hai abb rab se
rang bhare vo tere sapno main
jitni khushiyan baanti hai tune
Utni hi khushiyan ho tere daaman main

I never thought I was worth a poem....spellbound is Saurabh....unforgettable is the gift...

how grand is 50th entry,dear reader?

Move On

2006-09-24T23:52:00.000+05:30

It was never too late
to latch on
Between duration of two breaths
Lies infinite possibilities for life
Will to move forward is coming to embrace
For Whom are you waiting peddler?
Move on....................

It was never too late
To understand
Converting ...stinking luck
Changing.....position of stars is
Matter of a pure thought away
For whom are you waiting sailor?
Move on........................

It was never too late
To conceive
Keeping one foot firmly in ground
Singing the song of defeat is
Supreme act of bravado
For whom are you waiting brave-heart?
Move on............................

It was never too late
To comprehend
Think before accepting dogma
Query before worshipping God
Is the ultimate purpose
For Whom are you waiting devotee?
Move on...............

It was never too late
To accept the
Kiddish chuckle
Flowers wavering in wind
Fresh Sunlight after darkness
Motivational immortal words….shrill
"Life is beautiful"
For whom are you waiting .......?
Move on.........

Written for a recently read motivational poem and anonymous poet

You...My Friend

2006-09-17T19:35:00.000+05:30

I searched
Aah,Look what I found finally...

Was that a...
Rare gem in garbage
Red rose amongst thorns
Immortal song
Separated part of me

Or........
Fragrance of soil
Infinite sea waves
Scintillating rainbow
Dazzling full moon

Was that a.....
Soul penetrating evening
Silent,perfumy night
Giggling morning

Or.........
Sweet blessings
Tender proudness
Obstniate Commitment

Yes.......
It was amalgamation of all these
Known as YOU "My friend"

And...
I no more want to be sweaty
By callous souls
By aggressive beasts
By bloodsucking vampires
Who came across
On the way to meet you....

Hence...
My search ends forever

Written for Fantastic Five Friends whom I discovered in Bangalore

World of My Own

2006-09-13T17:27:00.000+05:30

Welcome to the world of my own
where i paint my own reality

Where the rain connects
earth and sky;body and soul.

Where.....darkness bring happiness
Where....night never ends
Where....light is draconian

Welcome to the world of my own
Where the fairies sing lullaby...
Where the flowers smile.........
Where the pigeons talk to clouds

Where the sunset fills
color in dead sky......
Where moon and I
talk incessantly...without moving lips

Welcome to the world of my own
Where the tears and smiles
flow simultaneously........
Where sane and insane
understand each other..
Where love and hatred
stay together.............

Where the chased dreams
always come true......
Where every citizen is
...alone....

Gone......Forever

2006-08-27T18:36:00.000+05:30

Holding it tight,
in my fists
I captured light

Light......
The language of God
The cause behind big-bang
The Illumination for mankind
The difference between living and nonliving

I started running
With handful of light
With fake happiness
With hallucination...
With fictious expectation
That light is mine....forever

As the darkness approached
Light wanted to leave
I resisted,tried hard
But darkness,
none less than Goliath
snatched my share of light

Gone is the light
Alongwith my heart
To make me "Heartless"
And left is a black wound...full of puss

A poem for my favorite authors....Rohinton Mistry and GDR

.......YOU..........

2006-08-21T18:03:00.000+05:30

In the dreams or imagination
Wherever may I roam

On the road or in theatre
Anywhere I go

Those fading memories
Stuffed in veins
Run along with blood

I can feel echo of….
Those intelligent words
The rare fighting spirit
That motivation….when I was crippled

Even with you gone…..
These treasures are safe
Bolted on innermost coils of our hearts

Yes…...we still are friends
Yes…...we sometimes do care
…but yeah…these days it remains unnoticed
Even if you don’t call

Written while in a gyan session

Pagal guy meets WBW....

2006-08-12T09:30:00.000+05:30

As soon as He entered in my room, his all jolly mood was gone……reason being my black colored pillow and bed sheet which were originally white, thanks to dust…..kuch novels, lying here and there...big almirah with nothing inside it and a stinking blanket which has not been washed since 1 year and the pinnacle was when he saw the kitchen….total havoc……..

“Ye kya mazaak bana rakha hai, agar chadar jhaado toh kilo dust nikaltee hai… bread butter pe zinda ho…thode se kapde hain…..Himalaya achchi jagah hogi tumhare liye…shaadi kar deta hoon jaldi se,biwi aayegi tabhi sudhroge!! Bolo kaisee ladki pasand hai ? ” This was my dad, on his visit to Bangalore

This was not first time I was nervous. Friends of mine keep teasing and asking about the so called requirements…so once for all, I am doing what I do the best…penning down …..The 6 virtues of my effective Would Be Wifee(WBW)…..in the increasing order of weightage

6. Movies and music

I ask her, at 8:45 PM

Ajee Suntee ho, Nau se barah chale aj movie dekhne?
Bus paanch minute do ready hone ke liye!!

And we do reach the hall at 9:00 PM sharp…I know ladies jinka bus chale toh interval mein movie dekhne pahooche…

I have a list of rapid fire round questions for my WBW, with expected answers

ME: Amir ya SRK
SHE:SRK
ME: (rote hue) I hate him, I hate him
SHE: (giving hanky) ye lijiye…..

ME: Ayesha ya Takia, inme se kisase milogee?
SHE: Madhubala
ME: Magar ye toh option hi nahi tha!!!
SHE: hai daiyaa(sharmaate hue),apni sautan se bhi koi miltaa hai kya?

ME: REM, Pink Floyd, U2, Elvis, Mettalica, GnR…kabhi suna hai
SHE: Haan….
ME: Wow,then khoob jamegi yaar, kab suna last time?
SHE: (innocently)abhi aapne hi toh bola…..
ME: hai…..sooooo sweet

ME: All time favorite actor
SHE: Mitun da
ME: oye, he is good but what about Govinda and Rajnikant?
SHE: Teri jaat ka painda maaru,YOIYEE…....no Govinda shovinda
ME: (frightened) ye toh daakuni niklee….

But yeah, appreciating good music and movies is an asset…songs with lyrics of Javed Akhtar or God Gulzar, listening Ghazals of Jagjeet Singh and Ghulam Ali with sunset in front of your eyes do affect mood drastically, if you understand them…..

5. Outer appearance…

I am no John Abraham or Tom Cruze….Just an average Indian male with average looks…..I know that ,I do appear like a shirt on hanger so I don’t expect WBW to be heroinee…..average Indian female, in salwaar- kurta or Jeans-Shirt, with halki si smile on face and jhumke like miss Takia(please refer her photo for details )….long hairs like waterfall during night and small black bindi, so that khud ki nazar naa lag jaaye …Jhuki jhuki si palkein aur soyi soyi si aankhein…..

In short….aisee ho ki bus dekhte hi,I can listen nothing but

Chaudavi ka chand ho...............ya aaftaab ho
Jo bhi ho tum khuda ki kasam…......laajawab ho

4. Egoist Vs Moody (Tharki)

I have met many girls during the four years in engineering and one year in software industry who just think that they are from Mars and we poor earthlings are pathetic ,hopeless and sick for them...come on ,I mean the beauty what you just got because of genetic factors doesn’t make you beautiful…Not only this, pomposity everywhere
like “I am always right” kind of attitude leads to black hole only…...and ruins the family in future.

Being a big tharki myself, I admire it. My WBW would be tharki but not egoist….. so that both tharkis can chat at 12 in night…

I hate going in parties so we didn’t attend today’s party
It’s ok…even I don’t like
Abe, Bangalore ka ek chakkar laga ke aate hain guddi se
hai alla…how exciting….

3. Gutsee

What you need to be adventurous….GUTS is the word….Taking the challenge on gives a lot of fun…talk any adventure sports, for that matter and I am always raring to go

But, imagine my over adventurous WBW doing this..

Arre ,one guy claimed he is plumber and was not showing I-card so I have kept him locked in bathroom….lutera types lag raha tha, bada mazaa aaya,5 ghante se bund hai saala

Idiot, he really is a plumber!!!

Jokes apart, it really needs guts to go and face real life situations. In office or outside, you need to be bold….I consider myself as partially bold, rest would be filled by WBW..hopefully

2. Knowledge and it's expression

Those who are close to me know I much do I talk and how much I read….most of the time I prefer not to say anything …and read everything...I mean it. I feel it’s waste of energy to talk when you can write or simply don’t say anything.

So if WBW haven’t heard of or don’t want to have a taste of sci-fi, genetic theory, number system and prime numbers, bikes and cars, GDR or Rohinton Mistry ,RKN or Ruskin Bond, next gen computing or cloning, Emily Dickinson or Frost, Cricket, Feynman and Ramanujan ..ad-infinitum ….she’s gonna find me utterly boring most of the times………

For me reading is life and writing is oxygen to sustain it and under no circumstance I can compromise over it…..

1. And the award goes to …. ......
Thoda hai …...Thode ki jaroorat hai

Arre oo Sambhha,kitna inaam rakhe hai re sarkar hamree Khopadiya pe?
Sardar ….pachaas hazaar

They say it Bheja, dimaag or mind ….whatever you say…..I admire it most,like sarkaar admiring Gabbar’s Khopadiya(Brain)...I am fascinated because it’s the root of all other attributes listed above…all others can be developed…..I will not write much as mere pass khud kum hai…. WBW mein itna ho ki we both can live happily ever after and complement each other in every dimension of life.

To give up my bachelor lifestyle, these are the six simple requirements….if somebody fills them and interested, please let me know and if not, who cares!!!

For the bachelor’s who are going to complete 24 in coming October

Little Sister

2006-08-08T08:29:00.000+05:30

Everybody embraced
.....When she arrived
But I was.......
.......little terrified

The care I was getting
....Started deteriorating

Little I knew
this worst foe was divine
Would be future secret holder of mine

We played together
Laughed together
Fought together
Grew together

Sometimes i slapped
Sometimes she cried
Sometimes we madeup
Sometimes simply denied...

On demand tea or the enforced dinner
ooph,that perfect care
is.....really....really rare

She wants to be independent
She desires to break free
Studies donot let her flee
Still........
From her cash-petty
She spends every penny

To buy
.....that discounted rakhi
.....That delicious barfi

Written for all brothers and sisters who will not meet...on this Rakshabandhan

Unn Lamho ki Naadani

2006-08-04T22:44:00.000+05:30

mujhe na tumne samjha
na main tumhein samjha paayi
yun hi har din beet gaya
aur yun hi har raat gayi

Aaj jo dekhun mud ke peeche
yaad vo sab kuch aaa baitha
Khud ka dil dikhla pana
jab itna mushkil ho baitha

Jhutha sa abhimaan liye
hum donon apni raah chale
main na jane kahan gayi
tum na jane kahan chale

Unn rahon pe gar mud kar
tumne ek bar roka hota
toh shayad main tham jati
abhimaan na vo paida hota

Fir yun hi jhuthi aas liye
main rah tumhari dekha kii
na tumne fir aana chaha
na maine hi duri kam kii

Ummedon yun hi har gayi
sapne bhi dum tod gaye
tum ko khokar maine jaana
munjil ko ham chod chale

Ae kash na vo lamha hota
jab main tum par tab barsi thi
ya kash na vo lamha hota
jab tumne sahnaa chod diya

Abb apni yahi kahani hai
ki umar yunhi bitani hai
na tum sa abb koi aayega
na dil ko dhadka payega
koi kitna bhi chahe abb
par dil na use aapnayega

Hinduism says "Choice is an illusion" but the poet here chose to be ANONYMOUS......

What is your rating for this poem,reader?

Yaadein

2006-08-04T10:06:00.000+05:30

Yaadon ke tinkon ki raakh se
ek hunsta hua gharonda banata hun

Yaadein,
Kuch mahakti, chidchidati aur gungunati si yaadein....

Yaadein,
Sardi ki dhoop mein chat-cricket
ya..... garmi ki raaton mein
badi daadi se Sputnik ke kisse

Jalti dupahri mein library ke chakkar
ya..... holi ki toli ke saath masti

Yaadein,
kaali soozi hui uss raat mein
woh giddh ka dansh
ya..... akelepun ka ahsas karate
mere woh anginat se ghinoune lamhe

Yaadein,
Apne dum aur khushiyan
warne waale doston kii
Ya..... unn manzilon ki
jinke darwaje kabhi khule hi nahi

Shayad kuch kami si hai inn yaadon mein
abb ek umeed hi hai

Kuch aur ladkhadati
dhundhlaati aur kumhlaati
Yaadein........

Jo mere iss rakh ke ghar mein
Sondhi si hunsi daal de

Written for Jaya-Raju,Swati-Ajit,Sudhanshu,Shailu and Kamal......who are so far yet so close......

Halka sa Ahsaas

2006-08-02T15:52:00.001+05:30

Dhundhli si tasveer hai, halka sa ahsaas hai....
Aa jao meri panahon me dil ko har pal tumhari hi talash hai,

Roop tumahara meri in nigahon me,
narm aahen ab bhi meri saason ke paas hai,

wo tum ho ya majboori meri tanhaiyon ki,
wo tum ho ya majboori meri tanhaiyon ki,
laal palkon tale ek bas tumhari hi aas hai,

Dhundhli si tasveer hai, halka sa ahsaas hai....

A Poem by my friend Chandana...Aren't you impressed??

Chehre

2006-07-31T14:27:00.000+05:30

Rat ki sookhi khamoshi jab bahein pasare chale aayi
sath din bhar ki kayi yadein bhi le aayi
Aur... laayi hain unke sath kai chehre

chehre
Jindagi se jujhte
juthi muskurahaton se bhare
anjan manjilon ko dhundhte
Aur... raston main tanha bhatakte

vahi kuch aur
atmavishwas se bhare
nayi manjilein dhoondhte
safaltaon ki sidiyan chadte
Aur...kabhi na ghabrate

kuch aur bhi
har pal zindagi ko jite hue
har ek pal ko poojte hue
Bin kuch khwab aur aashayein
Aur...lakshyaheen jivan ko aage le jate

In chehron mein
apna mukhauta nakami ke saath talashta hun

kyonki har din mere jine ke dhang badal jate hain
mere andaj aur mere rang badal jate hain
aaj main ek chehra hun aur kal koi doosra
jaise shatranj ki bisat pe bicha hua ek mohra

Death of Sun

2006-07-26T20:23:00.000+05:30

This is live commentary of sunset seen from Marine Drive, Cochin.This small account is intended for the blog reader to go ,experience and share the SUNSET phenomena on their own………..today

We were sitting motionless on Marine drive …watching ships blowing horns and birds chirping and returning for their nests…almost clear blue sky with few clouds hovering here and there…. A perfect idyllic setting for any nature lover Suddenly I realized that magnet earth is attracting small in size, reddish in color –SUN.

The ally of earth, horizon used clouds as rope….who first tightens neck of sun and then entire body. Sun starts to swell as nerves have also been tied by the blackish clouds.

The color changes, blobbing continues and sun now starts bleeding….. The splash of blood partially fills blue sky and calm backwaters with crimson color. As the clouds grip, hapless sun cries “Save my soul”…..few passing by ships try save in vain……

The horizon opens its mouth wide …badly wounded, already bleeding sun goes half inside the horizon and then completely…the seagulls and crows now start to fly over backwaters to have a feast over sun’s blood ,now spilled all over.

The slow death of sun is tragic but tomorrow, a new sun will reincarnate from the womb of the same horizon……..I have seen it…...probably somewhere in Pondycherry…...

Don’t you feel like having a look on sunset?

Written for all the nature lovers……....

Mere Dost

2006-07-26T15:19:00.000+05:30

Safed badlon ki Takiyaa sirhane rakh
Parijat Chaanv ki chadar oodhe

Aundhe Muh,main leta

Tabhi achanak,Parijat bola
"Mere Dost banoge"

Fir hari Jalkumbhi,lahrein aur unpe ithlati kirane
Hum sab dost bane
Sab milkar sagar ki chati pe khoob naache
Khushi se aankhein bhar aayi

Magar Suryast hote hi ,

mano kissi ki nazar pad gayi

Kirne Sookhi

Lahrein thami
Jalkumbhi bhagi
Aur parijat bhi raakh ki tarah kaala pada

Mera akelapun
naa dekha gaya Chandni se
"Kya mujhse dosti karoge"
Fir...........................

Main,Chandni,Taare aur Nakshatra
Hum sab dost bane
Saari raat hava ke saath jhoome
Khushi se fir aankhe bhar aayi
Aur.......................................

Suryoday hote hi
Chandni peeli padi
Taaro - Nakhshtron ko Akash nigal gaya

Aur Shapit main
fir akela rah gaya......

Written beneath the "Parijat tree",on the banks of backwaters of Kochi

A Joint-Venture production

Bus to Kerala

2006-07-26T07:47:00.000+05:30

It was full
of strangers.plumpy and snoring

Gazing outside the big glass window
amidst the slight fog
I waited.

I waited for HER
Honking trucks passed
Breaking the sound of silence

Orion and dog star send signals
"Probably your friend slept"
wearing the cloud cover

I am too tired
Still waiting for HER

You might have seen your moon tonight
Mine is missing from past fortnight....

Unkind Words

2006-07-22T19:58:00.000+05:30

Dear Readers,

Some personal commitments are calling me to the city Kochin from where I will come back with few poems...for the time being,I wanted to share my personel favourite poem by Anurag.

I was intoxicated
by the night,
and by the love
and by the memory of lost loves.

How my love have gone,
tossing back their hair
like the web of memory
a shimmering melody

Only unkind words
only unkind words remain

Saluting Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost

Signing off,
Saurabh

Loneliness

2006-07-20T14:00:00.000+05:30

Is it black, blue or Red
The color of loneliness
I am confused

The crowd laughs, chats or sms's
The color changes
Sometimes it is grey, othertime it is green
I am confused

When I start enjoying the desolateness
it becomes sky blue
and when I hate
I could see Orange
I am confused

Have you ever seen
The color of Loneliness
I am still Confused……..
Are you?

Written while in a treat in form of sms’s

Aha...Those Sensational Days

2006-07-15T20:37:00.000+05:30

I am a total believer in following lines of a great song..

आने वाला कल एक सपना है
गुजरा हुआ कल बस अपना है
हम इस गुजरे पल में रहते हैं…..

Which literally means that I believe in yesterday…who has seen tomorrow, which may not be acceptable to many. So decided to give you glimpse of my school life ,hoping even if one of my readers is able to recollect those golden days, the purpose is solved.

Nidhi and the Day of photography

Year: 1991
Month: September
Class: 4th “B”

I was having lunch with my best friend…...in fact I used to eat everything which she brought and gave her my half empty lunch box! Her name was Nidhi and still her gorgeous smile is as fresh as a daisy in my mind. She was slightly taller than me with a lovely little face ...her medium length hairs remind me of a waterfall duiring night. Her bright black eyes compensated for two slightly protruded teeth. She used to have trouble in solving math sums and was a champion artist. I was a dumbo in drawing so our combination was perfect. I used to solve her questions sometimes and she did a lot of drawing assignments for me.

Everyday, when I returned back to home, mostly Nidhi used to be in my chats with buaji with whom I was staying. Today Nidhi did this and I made her fall by pushing…..I ate all her lunch and didn’t give anything….She laughed on my torn button of shirt…..I made fun of her long hairs….I gave her a comics to read which she didn’t liked….she got highest in drawing etc used to be a daily evening report... And when buaji asked provocatively

“Shastry, Tum bade ho ke shaadi kisese karoge”? whom will you marry once you grow up
“Nidhi se” And that was it…….I was bullied by many of my relatives for several years for this answer…..

“Tomorrow photographer will come and we all will have group photograph” announced my class teacher. We both were very happy as those day, photographs were a rarity…and photography day used to be some kind of festival in our school.

Buaji combed my hairs and cautioned not to play outside..
“Photo khichne se pahle dhoop mein mat jaana,kale ho jaaoge aur photo kharaab ho jaayegi” Don’t go outside before photograph is taken otherwise you will turn black!

The photographer came with a tripod and a big camera….session started from nursery kids….finally it was announced

“Class 4th B, please make a queue and come here”

I was really excited because it was my first photo with Nidhi standing besides me…and then class teacher yelled

“All tall children would be standing and rest will sit down. Saurabh, come and sit here” echoed teacher

It was sad end of high hopes as Nidhi was standing while me sitting near my class teacher. Photographer asked everybody to smile and I tried hard to do that….Even today ,whenever I take a look at that classic photo, I feel….if Nidhi were there sitting besides me.

After class 4th we never met as her father got transferred in another city.

A typical Sunday

Year:1996
Month: March
My Sundays in those days started at 5:30 the morning with solving few chapters of RS Aggarwal’s math book for an oncoming district level math contest. Aim was to solve them quickly as “Rangoli” will start from 7:15 .

“Aaj sab log apna room saaf karenge” everybody will clean his/her room, ordered mom.
I offered a bribe of two candies to my younger sister….
she used to clean my room whereas I enjoyed watching songs Rangoli

After Rangoli ,“Chandrakanta” was next big attraction. Every family member used to watch it because of “Naugarh” and “VijayGarh”…these two “Estates” are very close to our village and the author Babu Devakinandan Khatri was actually an employee of King of Varanasi.I often used to wonder whatever miracles they showed in serial, how I can perform. Even reading some books on magic tricks were of not much help, though I learnt few tricks. From 10:00AM, it used to be Disney world and my favourite cartoon characters were all over the place.

Once this gets over, it used to be fight time….with younger sister on reasons as big as “My new pen is better than yours”
“The notebook I have is thicker than yours”
“My Goofy stickers are better than your He-Man”
Younger brother played the role of reporter and Mummy used to come yelling…..without her interruption, it was really difficult to stop the ongoing fight

At around 3:30, the colony cricket team arrived and then 1 and half hours of unlimited fun starts…few times, we used to break a window of my poor Bengali neighbour...to stop the game….

After reaching home I used to find that the Sunday movie has already half way through but still I could understand it with the help of my sister so that the next day in school,I can take part in lunch time discussion

“Arre kya laat ghuma ke maara tha Dharmedra ne Takle Shetty ko”
“Rajnikant bidi goli maar ke jala diya”
“Anil Kapoor ka kidney fail ho jaata hai”
“Arre Aakhir mein Amitabh Bachchan ko goli lag jaati hai,fir bhi bach jaata hai”

At 6:30 when movie ends, it’s time to finish home work and wait for dad to arrive with some eatables begins. The day ends at 10:00PM after “Surabhi” is finished with a “Namaskar” from Siddharth Kak and Renuka Shahane’s voice which was like sound of bangles clinking together….Wasn’t it,readers?

Because....I hate to loose

Year: 1997
Month: January
Class: 9th “A”

Being the topper of school had many advantages…every teacher knows you and admires….almost every student is familiar with your face and is always ready to help a topper. I had lots of friends but three of them were really peculiar. They were quite notorious for beating anybody …in other words, they were “Dons”. When your good friends are like that, you are bound to get influenced.

We four..Me,Goswami,Tripathy and Rajeev were very good players of hand-cricket, A cricket which involved only ball, with bat being your hand. At that time we were World Champions in our own terms.

A new talented entrant to our school Prateek started to thwart our autonomy in hand-cricket. He was a very good player and his team played well under him. We lost quite a few matches and were getting frustrated.

One day after loosing 5 matches in a row and on being taunted ... I lost it…..and smacked straight in the face of Prateek. His spectacles were on the ground and he was bamboozled……I knew that I have won it because in all the fights, who-so-ever strikes first takes the lead….and I had the guts to give the first blow….now Tripathy and Rajeev came in action….Prateek fell down and he was being beaten badly from all four of us…..boom-boom-bang-bang. Sad part was all of his friends were just watching the show…and this is real dumbness.Poor guy couldn’t do a thing apart from lodging a complain to my class teacher…And my teacher refused to believe that I was involved in such incident, though rest three were given punishment, but they never uttered that I was involved….

From that day till today, though I hate to loose,I have lost many times at many fronts….
And controlling the temper have been tough but somehow I have done this…I still feel sorry for that incident

Written for those who traveled backwards in time while reading this........

Conversations with someone you call God

2006-07-13T11:55:00.000+05:30

I chased and finally caught him
Yes....he was someone you call God

Long was the night and our conversation
I was full of intriguing questions

why you have programmed most of us not to ask basic questions
Why there is agony to them who were never askew
And why angelic children are harassed...verbally and sexually

He sent me to a "saint" called Osho
and Osho offered nothing but mere set of fragmented words

To Someone we hate
why it is allowed to spit all hatred
.........................
And to someone we Love
Why it is not possible to show the chest...
the emotions engulfed inside choke me out

And i was asked to read JK
puzzle still was unsolved

Why your few children are born with a silver spoon
.....others in a gutter
...................................................
why your followers have blindfolded faith in miracles
.....may or may not be performed by you
Why there is a void inside me
and why I am incomplete....

I was introduced to Deepak Chopra
who was perplexed

Suddenly i realised
my dream was over
...................................................
And I am still wondering......
Was there somebody you call God??

Written for those who are confused....like me

4 Lives

2006-07-10T21:09:00.000+05:30

Idols---the word itself instills inspiration. Almost everybody has idols…the supermen like Tendulakars,the Bachchans,the Kalams ,the Khans …..list goes ओं.Truly speaking, my life has never been completely influenced from anything…be it living or non living. But the short account of four lives I am going to present will tell you why I admire them.

They are not page 3 personalities or highly popular…they are one of us..they are achievers who have touched my life and if you look around you,you will definitely come across them in your life….they can be your own friends, relatives, parents or siblings…..

How many guys are there who can avoid brother’s
marriage for the sake of an exam?
How many of us can leave their newly wed wife for months in order to study?
How many of us can sustain the pressure of taking the same exam 8th time and that too when your family and well wishers have left all hopes and disparage you ?
And how many of you start your carreer with almost elementary knowledge of English and finally make it to leading MNC’s……the answer is not many

These four lives are no way related to each other…but they have a lot in common…they are neither geeks nor affluent by birth….all are descendents of the great Indian middle class but what differentiates them is 3D’s---dedication, determination and discipline. Here I am narrating the tale of four hardworking guys who performed miracles for themselves and their lives was changed forever……in the order of their age

Brij Anand

He is husband of my buaji(my father’s sister) and was a government clerk on adhoc at the time of marriage. An extremely hardworking person with determination to do something big…After marriage, he thought of giving up all his dreams and continue with family….but conscience won and he decided to give a shot at PCS( Provincial Civil Services). Newly wed couple had to part away for almost 6 months ……and believe me it was the toughest decision of their lives …And at that instant he knew,he will do it. The moment arrived ,lived by him and he conquered it…YES…he was now a Rank 2 officer …it was sheer perseverance and hard work that made him what he is today Sales Tax Commisioner…in retrospect, it was a long journey for a clerk on adhoc.

Dr. Hriday Narayan Singh

I call him the man with a will of steel…why?? He was brutally denied for an entry to the so called most famous coaching institute of Varanasi and he got one of the sternest remarks from any teacher to any student…..and the crime was, he attempted CBSE PMT for 8th time in a row…

“Tum jaante ho Hriday….iss poore coaching mein (of almost 5000 students and 10 teachers)mere baad sabse jyadaa umar tumharee hi hai” was the sarcastic comment by teacher...…

At an age of 27,With pressure from all side…..my man failed to succumb…..and He did it…..he cleared CBSE PMT and studied in one of the very good medical colleges in India. His long cherished dream of building a well facilitated clinic in his own village is now fulfilled……I salute your optimism…I salute your guts

Nikunj K. Srivastava

Probably out of the four lives, he is most famous…even in media too. He is my mama(mother’s brother) and the first IITian whom I knew. After leaving a well paying job in Indian Oil, when he decided to go for kill on IAS(Indian Administrative Services)exams,not many were happy…and situation became grim when he could not make it for two times in a row…third attempt had to be his last .He had to toil hard….. Every success demands sacrifice and for him, it was to avoid brother’s marriage by taking a house on rent, very close to his house so that he can study peacefully…not many could understand this unless the final results of IAS-1997 were announced….even in the wildest of his dreams, Bunty mama never thought of this….he was All India Rank 2 in mother of all exams!!!…and everyday a new reporter…interviews on local Doordrshan and lots of reports in newspapers converted him into a instantaneous celebrity….Risks taken and ability to give up the temptation have made him District Magistrate of several cities …..and a star performer of cadre -1997.

Sudhir Kumar

He is my batch mate and when I first saw his notebook, I was almost shocked.
”How come a guy doesn’t even know the meaning of word forest after passing 12th” .?
Sudhir knew this …he was terrible in English…..be it any form of it…all of us used to bully him….and suddenly he decided to go all out for it…after an year of awe-inspiring hard work, he almost knew every little word of dictionary…..even I felt jealous and proud at the same time of being a friend of such a gritty character. He overcame the hurdle of being from a remote village in Jharkand, studied in Hindi medium in a small college and finally made it to Flextronics software Systems. This terrific hard worker is now working for Motorola and still goes all out whenever needed.

After reading this, you can very well think of somebody who has inspired you. Somebody who is not a prominent figure but only his reference can infuse light inside you…. Think…an idol may be close to you

Dreams

2006-07-08T20:43:00.000+05:30

My dreams were a pigeon
Whose wings were my ambition,
Legs were perseverance,
And eyes were motivation

The perky pigeon took off
I was following
He took me to the zenith....
That was mid way to the heaven
We both were extremely tired....

But on the top,
It was lonesome
Horrendous silence prevailed
And numerous slaughtered pigeons lied there

Butcher came
Pigeon refused to come down
“Master I beg you leave
try again with another ‘ne
though I will not be present
but keep pursuing
someday you will find the ultimate”

I, The Self-indulgent seeker
Chose to hand him to the butcher
And ,Wings were crushed
Legs were torn
finally....eyes were nailed

And again I start my selfish journey
…………………………………….

This Poem is dedicated to all those dreams of mine which never came true

Insomnia

2006-07-06T12:49:00.000+05:30

She again eluded me
while i waited for her
in those ghastly hours
anxious about her arrival

friends got
city got
even the pair of pigeon got her
but mysterious lady didn't embrace me

And now she is leaving
with a vaunted smile on her lips

"I am neither rich nor in convalescent
still you are fleeing?"
"try to find on your own,dear"

Only if I could....
Why I never got her.....
the mysterious sleep

Life in the fast lane

2006-07-02T08:28:00.000+05:30

I am not going to repeat another Chetan Bhagat kind of story. This blog is meant to recollect the four beautiful years which I spent in IT-BHU’s lush green campus and I am confident that it will remind your college days. I also had a small mischievous coterie but that will form another story which will be told later.

When you qualify the JEE, everything surrounding you seems to change.
People who doesn’t even know you properly start linking

“arre woh mera chota bhai hai…”
“I have known him since he started peeing!!”
“He was a very good student…I taught him in second standard…”

One of my neighbors whose window’s glass I broke from ball was caught saying
“Arre bada achcha ladka tha”..though he was pissed off from me everytime I sneaked past him.

A kind of prejudice subsides inside you and at the same time you start doubting yourself that how you will cope up in all elite company only. With these known fears, I entered into the hostel along with my father. After parents left us in this new world ,ragging was on full flow and it’s inappropriate to discuss all the nuisances of it here. You got to smoke at least once….just to show the seniors….you had to remember Institute chorus (pretty distorted song) and if you miss a single line, you got to repeat that. Once ,I was about to break when one of ‘em asked me to smell a whitish thing which he called “cocaine”, which turned out to be Nycil powder ….Ragging continued even in class to make Mama’s boys and Pop’s girls(Sadly only two) smarter….even teachers encouraged that!

Those days were nightmares as we were supposed to sleep with shoes on .And few smart guys were caught by damn smart seniors at 3 AM and alongwith them, all of us were punished…and those blokes who hesitated to get naked inside bathroom became so frank within few days that one call from seniors was enough to make a bogey…with no piece of cloth on body. All kind of weirdest things were mandatory to be performed and in true sense, ragging got some of the guys I know pretty close
forever, for whatsoever reasons. I am sure most of you have gone through this phase. Please refer Chetan Bhagat’s novel ….

Once ragging phase was over, guys from all over India started mingling with each other. They were all kinds of chaps….some were simply geeks, few were work horses while most of them were above average….but each one of them had some talent.

We used to dance and sing together during evening and it used to be first year guys only who had the maximum fun. I wondered why only first year…only to get answer in the next year. Room mates who shared same interests came closer and they are now friends for the lifetime. Luckily my mate was also a big fan of Jagjeet Singh…and after 12, we used to switch off lights, close the door and listen his soothing voice till we sleep…”sadly..now gone are those days…”

Coming to the studies , nothing was striking in first year. Courses were good but professors were too old to handle. Every subject was screwed up and nothing innovative was there. Those who were good at making notes were GOD’s for the rest and those who could learn everything by heart were amongst toppers. It was not the place which I thought that a famous institute like this would be…only to be discovered soon that I was wrong.

Second year started with Electronics core coming in picture and by then we were very much used to VT (Vishwanath temple)hangouts,Limbdi corner’s chai-samosewaala, Shuklajee’s juice ,BBC(Basketball court),Piya Milan Chauraha(PMC) and Pahalwaan’s Lassi.PMC was in front of non engineering Women’s college and was mostly clustered with guys from IT ,since the population of fairer sex was really thin in Institute.

Also few new things like overnight software contest …overnight treasure hunt (where usually, treasure was found in the filthiest bathroom of the campus!)…lots of cultural festivals and gaming contests added spice in our lives.....

All kinds of naughty things like proxy attendance , bunking classes or taking shots on teacher were very common. Sometimes, few were caught as they requested multiple guys for their proxy registration and three of them calling at the same time for same guy!!

Not so common was daring to leave the class once teacher took attendance at the beginning. This illegal activity was performed by jumping from a big window which was accessible from the topmost stair of auditorium and you got jump from a height of 8 feet from the ground. There were blokes who used to do it
with immaculate perfection unless one of them jumped from the class over our math teacher who was passing by….poor teacher got injured badly………And the window is now closed forever!!!

The most courageous activity we performed in second year was a raid on professor of Electrical motors at 11PM!! Prof was really furious when he saw 44 guys in front of his house demanding the test scheduled on next day ,to be cancelled ,as it was a public holiday. When he came out of his house along with big German Shepherd, each one of the protestors were looking for places to hide. Most of the guys were found inside a bush while those who had bicycle just ran away. Only two had the managed to talk with him … He badly scolded them and test remained scheduled…..and everyone got marks in single digit.

The booze party given by seniors at the very end of this year was as peculiar one could ever imagine. One room was full with all kinds of alcoholic drinks….beers, whiskeys and rum…with unlimited availability and interesting part was nothing to eat.That night was only to drink and get wet from the somehow disconnected water hose of garden water supply. Youthful madness was at it’s pinnacle and you could see all hundreds of drunkards completely wet….smoking cigarettes…going for their 9th peg. And next day we had an exam……….

Third year was serious ….damn serious. It was the toughest and teacher of microprocessors was one hell of a prof. He knew everything, was renowned in his area of expertise. I used to talk to him after class hours to clarify doubts. Apart from studies, we used to talk on few other issues and I came to know that he was not satisfied from himself but somehow he carried on with the burden of genius.

Few more profs who taught us were really knowledgeable and some guys got flunked in the toughest courses of our lives. Everybody use to be very studious and that’s why we are famous.. when you needed to study, we all studied. Till now boozing, smoking, spending late nights at Dhaba for chicken was common. To come back from the feast, you have to jump from a 7 ft high wall as university gates were essentially closed at 10PM.

Within first five days of campus season started almost all of us got placed in some of the biggest names and each one who got job….had to go through the ritual of taking job bumps….lots and lots of them. It is a very famous saying in IT “If you don’t get the job bumps, you will repent for it!”. Ultimately, everyone got bums minimum twice!!

Getting a job was again U-turn for some of us. It meant end of their aims and then started endless nights playing cards…or AOE(Age of empires) .The morning started at 12 and AOE starts at the same time. and till the next day 4AM, it used to be played. Same with cards…there were some clash of titans in AOE where whole hostel used to watch few geeks battling it out for as long as 5 hours! needless to say…Who cared about the studies

Two lobbies in our hostel were named India and Pakistan and there used to lot of funny fights across nations…and it started with either “India ki ………………”or “Pakistan………….”.But it reached to the height at Diwali when rockets and crackers were fired in enemy’s territory. Luckily no one got injured.

The end of this life was full of treats.. parties and promises that we will never forget each other. After these four years, boys were now converted into fully grown men and girls were more mature. The people who either became your friend under a set of circumstances or naturally were now leaving and along with them, some of your part was also going…forever. The news that all of them are doing really well in their respective profession somehow fills your heart with puff of proudness.

Gone are those days of madness to do anything….of daydreams and achieving them …of friendship and rivalry…..of many unmentionables extracurricular activities…..of dancing during cultural fests…of nightouts and ofcourse most beautiful and largest university campus in Asia.

Just recalled a verse from Jagjit Singh Ghazal...

वक़्त की शाख से, लम्हे नहीं तोड़ा करते
हाथ छूटे भी तो, रिश्ते नही छोड़ा करते....

For BHU and ECE-2005…..missing you

I will not be there when………

2006-07-01T16:44:00.000+05:30

On my way to a long and desolate island
In search of the eternal truth
Friend sparrow stopped me
Happy was I
That I got a companion
“I need your help my dear friend”
And I was there
Only to be sidelined after ‘twas done
…….......

Few days later when I again started voyage,
A parrot stopped me
Happiness crept inside
“I need you my dear brother”
.....I was there
Again to be cornered afterwards….........

On midway through
A beautiful seagull became hurdle
She was lost in utter chaos of emotions
“Can you extricate me ….my Romeo”
And I was there to save her from spooky emotions
.....Again to be kicked off………

Now I am wandering disoriented on the island
Still in quest of that everlasting truth
Reminiscent memory particles start haunting…..

I require my friend sparrow
And brother parrot
Juliet seagull…......
Alas!! Each one of them abandons me barbarically
WHY?
SIMPLE………
………I was not needed…………

Years later
Sparrow called
Parrot also enquired
And good-looking seagull sent signals

“Am I Needed?”
“No, we miss you!...join us“

But it’s too late folks
Only lesson I learnt from this worthless life
And you all missed is
“I will be there when really needed
NOT be there when NOT needed……”

WHY I WANT TO BE A RED FLOWER?

2006-06-24T15:48:00.000+05:30

A day in flower's life
Starts with drops of water flushed by the gardener
The little red flower opens eyes
With sun giving his warmth
With breeze welcoming the little 'ne
Flower starts growing and radiating fragrance

Now friend bee comes
She kisses him,touches him and loves him
Little Red flower enjoyes the company
Suddenly,she finds another companaion
...........he keeps growing

Young flower keeps growing as the day progress
With new marks of age and traumatized with bruise
These blemishes.....offered by the gleaner himself
and he wonders ....WHY?
The young flower learns the rules of life quickly
Discovers soon that world is cruel

As the darkness crawls,
Adult Flower is alone
Wondering "was life cruel?Why gardner did that?Why bee did that?"
and discovers too late
the purpose of life
was in spreading his aroma
And......forgiving everybody

And that's why .....
I want to be a Red flower ......

This Poem is a Birthday Gift to my friend Shrek.Thanks for all the good times you have given me buddy......

Lost but not Found

2006-06-12T07:15:00.000+05:30

It was an I-spy game between sun and clouds ….sunlight kept appearing ,disappearing and then again appearing. Standing on top of South India called Dolphin’s nose, I was wondering that there must be a painter of this megacosm…..A painter who makes errors in form of dark clouds covering the entire top view and then erases it from sunlight!!

Be it the Nilgiris(The Blue Mountains), apparently appearing to me as a gigantic lady who is sleeping in between mushrooms (The Eucalyptus trees)..or the sunlight coming from window of Chaiyya Chaiyaa train and piercing my body…or angelic blue colored flowers bidding adieu to the passengers of the train….or the Sun rays ,falling on leaves of coniferous trees and making their green leaves glow with white shine ……I was lost in Koonoor.

Journey to this place with six other friends started with a deadly stare of Bison in Bandipur Jungles which is on the way to Koonoor,a hill station 18 Km east of Ooty. The time was 4AM in the morning and as usual, I was awake along with my friend for the journey…the gibbous moon .The shriek from Chandan made all of us to look into shining eyes of that Bison and after that, those who were sleeping in the Qualis were also looking for more adventure…..sadly we could find few stags and herd of deer in the Bandipur and Madhumalai forests.

Ooty is artificial,Koonoor is natural
when Raja guide said this, he meant it. But our decision to stay in Koonoor was purely based on financial constraints. We were in middle of tea estates and then in SatyaMangla forest where brigand Veerappan had monopoly few years back accompanied by the guide who told about the numerous bollywood movies who were shot in the areas where we went. There were lots of view points on the way…sadly I forgot the names!!

Koonoor is the fifth hill station I have visited but number of view points make it rank two after Nainital in my list…no doubt why Bollywood should not come here to take a shot of The Painter’s outstanding creativity…or why love dales in form of honeymoon couples should not come here …Love and beauty of nature flows with cool air and to feel it, you got to be present here.

The train from Koonoor to Ooty (The Chaiyaa Chaiyya train) is an experience in itself. This historical steam engine passes through two tunnels and scenic hills.You can see the houses very beautifully arranged on different levels of the hill,as if one little nudge on the topmost house was sufficient enough to topple subsequent ones…so delicate was their placement. I was lost third time while on the journey ,only to be recovered once we reached Ooty,where we visited the Boat house for a four seater paddle boat ride and then to rose garden… full of all kinds of hybrid roses. Ooty is a crowdy and ear popping place, basically abundant with couples. It didn’t strike me at all. We decided not to visit Botanical garden (very similar to Lalbagh botanical garden of Bangalore) but we left Ooty to have some fun in between the way to Bangalore and that we did by stopping at some unknown place and freaking out with locales!

It was not that I was lost in nature only…but was Lost in translation too. Four of my Telugu friends kept chatting in their native language and me trying to decipher them was a fun!! In the end I could figure out two-three telugu words. Horse riding with Shrek was also interesting.Helper whipped his horse who jumbled and mumbled and Shrek started shrieking …stop stop. Sadly,my horse was also stopped and fun ended soon.

The height of excitement came to me when I fell in mud twice!!..one while crossing a long passage and second time while pulling out my beloved shoes from the mud result was myself half into mud….but the spirit didn’t end here…third time I crossed the same passage successfully!!

It was a nice change from Bangalore’s routine life…I suggest,if you go to Ooty,don’t give much weightage to Ooty city.Lots of unexplored places such as tribe’s village, trekking spots and the places I described are waiting…..

In the end It’s all about experimentation, bodaciousness and the limit to which you want to have adventure and fun.

Making The Grade

2006-06-08T12:26:00.000+05:30

I will be in Ooty on coming weekend so my new post will be available on Monday,June 12th.So for the time being,following is an essay written by Kurt Wiesenfeld a Professor at Georgia Tech in Atlanta Georgia. The essay was originally published in the "My Turn" section of the June 17th Newsweek.
This is an old and famous essay and I want to thank Neelesh for sending it.

Please stay tuned for a travelogue on "Lesser known aspects of Ooty"

It was a rookie error. After 10 years I should have known better, but I went to my office the day after final grades were posted. There was a tentative knock on the door "Professor Wiesenfeld? I took your Physics 2121 class? I flunked it? I wonder if there's anything I can do to improve my grade?" I thought: "Why are you asking me?Isn't it too late to worry about it? Do you dislike making declarative statements?"

After the student gave his tale of woe and left, the phone rang.
"I got a D in your class. Is there any way you can change it to 'Incomplete'?"

Then the e-mail assault began: "I'm shy about coming to talk to you, but I'm not shy about asking for a better grade. Anyway, it's
worth a try." The next day I had three phone messages from students
asking me to call them. I didn't.

Time was, when you received a grade, that was it. You might groan and
moan, but you accepted it as the outcome of your efforts or lack thereof (and, yes, sometimes a tough grader). In the last few years, however, some students have developed a disgruntled consumer approach. If they don't like their grade, they go to the "return" counter to trade it in for something better.

What alarms me is their indifference toward grades as an indication of
personal effort and performance. Many, when pressed about why they think
they deserve a better grade, admit they don't deserve one but would like
one anyway. Having been raised on gold stars for effort and smiley faces
for self-esteem, they've learned that they can get by without hard work and
real talent if they can talk the professor into giving them a break. This
attitude is beyond cynicism. There's a weird innocence to the assumption
that one expects (even deserves) a better grade simply by begging for it.
With that outlook, I guess I shouldn't be as flabbergasted as I was that 12
students asked me to change their grades after final grades were posted.

That's 10 percent of my class who let three months of midterms,
quizzes and lab reports slide until long past remedy. My graduate student
calls it hyperrational thinking: if effort and intelligence don't matter,
why should deadlines? What matters is getting a better grade through an
unearned bonus, the academic equivalent of a freebie T shirt or toaster
giveaway. Rewards are disconnected from the quality of one's work. An act
and its consequences are unrelated, random events.

Their arguments for wheedling better grades often ignore academic
performance. Perhaps they feel it's not relevant."If my grade isn't raised
to a D I'll lose my scholarship." "if you don't give me a C, I'll flunk
out." One sincerely overwrought student pleaded, "If I don't pass my life
is over." This is tough stuff to deal with. Apparently, I'm responsible for
someone's losing a scholarship, flunking out or deciding whether life has
meaning. Perhaps these students see me as a commodities broker with
something they want--a grade. Though intrinsically worthless, grades, if
properly manipulated, can be traded for what has value: a degree, which
means a job, which means money. The one thing college actually offers--a
chance to learn--is considered irrelevant, even less than worthless,
because of the long hours and hard work required.

In a society saturated with surface values, love of knowledge for its
own sake does sound eccentric. The benefits of fame and wealth are more
obvious. So is it right to blame students for reflecting the superficial
values saturating our society?

Yes, of course it's right. These guys had better take themselves seriously now, because our country will be forced to take them seriously later, when the stakes are much higher. They must recognize that their
attitude is not only self-destructive but socially destructive. The
erosion of quality control--giving appropriate grades for actual
accomplishments--is a major concern in my department. One colleague
noted that a physics major could obtain a degree without ever answering
a written exam question completely. How? By pulling in enough partial
credit and extra credit And by getting breaks on grades.

But what happens once she or he graduates and gets a job? That's when the misfortunes of eroding academic standards multiply. We lament that school children get "kicked upstairs" until they graduate from highschool despite being illiterate and mathematically inept, but we seem unconcerned with college graduates whose less blatant deficiencies are far more harmful if their accreditation exceeds their qualifications.

Most of my students are science and engineering majors. If they're
good at getting partial credit but not at getting the answer right, then
the new bridge breaks or the new drug doesn't work. One finds examples here in Atlanta.Last year a light tower in the Olympic Stadium collapsed,
killing a worker. It collapsed because an engineer miscalculated how much weight it could hold. A new 12 story dormitory could develop dangerous cracks due to a foundation that's uneven by more than six inches. The error resulted from incorrectdata being fed into a computer. I drive past that dorm daily on my way towork, wondering if a foundation crushed under kilotons of weight is repairable or if this structure will have to be demolished. Two 10,000 pound steel beams at the new natatorium collapsed in March, crashing into the student athletic complex. (Should we give partial credit since no one was hurt?) Those are real world consequences of errors and lack of expertise.

But the lesson is lost on the grade-grousing 10 percent. Say that you
won't (not can't, but won't) change the grade they deserve to what they
want, and they are frequently bewildered or angry. They don't think it's
fair that they're judged according to their performance, not their desires
or "potential." They don't think it's fair that they should jeopardize
their scholarships or be in danger of flunking out simply because they
could not or did not do their work. But it's more than fair; it's
necessary to help preserve a minimum standard of quality that our society
needs to maintain safety and integrity. I don't know if the l3th-hour
students will learn that lesson, but I've learned mine. From now on, after
final grades are posted, I'll lie low until the next quarter starts.

WIESENFELD, a physicist, teaches at Georgia Tech in Atlanta.

First Year in Software Industry

2006-06-04T08:29:00.000+05:30

Welcome aboard…Mr Saurabh boasted my director Shytam
Thank you, Sir
Lesson no. 1…there is no sir, no madam…I am Shyam,he is Rama(manager)…
Wow!!!! … So I will call my uncles with their names I thought

I was a fresher with Electronics Engineering background whose CV was brimming with most of the VLSI (Very Large Scale integration) related projects. My Knowledge in devices was perfect and specialization was the field of VLSI ….. Training in STMicroelectronics on memory design was like icing on the top of the cake. I am sure there are many guys like me…..unsure of what they can do during there B.Tech ..what they want to do and finally landing to a place where you will not use the specialized knowledge which has been perfected during you formative years.

Next day,I went straight to director

So Shyam, what is the work you are going to assign me?

Good that you are learning the etiquettes fast…apparently our division works on wireless infrastructure and mobile device management soft wares ,which includes server and devices to be managed. And there is no such well defined team. Whole division is a team. Try to learn Server side of it and then move ahead towards devices in future. So Start on Java. I have already seen you as a guy who is not afraid of taking risks!!(So I was under scrutiny from day one) and talking to senior management

But.. I demurred..what is this…there is no fixed group …no hierarchy…and above all no embedded software where I was interested…From VLSI to JAVA was a big change

I hated Java. This was a paradigm shift .From projects in chip designing to making a career in network management and that too using Java…yukk ..like any other fresher,I hated the idea

I am from Ece background Shyam..will this suit me?….. but I will give it a shot

And from that day in history to this day,I have worked on projects which hardly required Java.They required an attitude and aptitude to learn….learn the tools ..learn to write pertinent codes along with coding standards…Attitude to implement ….. acclimate with different teams working on different kind of projects

Here I am going to present my treatise on what I learnt from Industry in past one year. It may help some of the freshers and few seniors who find their work boring and disgusting …Mind it,I am not giving gyan ,it’s kind of self talk.

1)Leave the prejudices in the college---Don’t be prejudiced about the domain where you are going to make the career, unless you have explored about it thougrouly.

2)The software tools which you are going to use must be given high assiduity. Using help or goggle, learning their intricacies always helps. e.g I use MG-soft browser regularly but haven’t seen many guys using it effectively. They could use basic functionality but whenever a tricky situation comes, they fail. Same is the case with CVS(A tool which helps you to put code on a central repository and not on local machine).You can learn every utility of these tools by TRYING out some dummy things and screwing up your system(or if you are luckier than me,you will not).For the developers, the platform(DOS or UNIX) and development tool(s) they use SHOULD be as familiar as their own rooms where they know what thing to look for at exactly which place.Same to testers.

3)Always be ready to learn new programming languages and scripting in no time. I know it’s easy to say but once you break the ice, next time it would be easy. Believe me..I have learnt JSP,Beans and servlets much slower than multithreaded programming in C++, purely because of ordering dependencies. Once you break that, you are through.

4)Don’t be irresolute to ask right questions…who so ever be it .Initially I used to fear from my team lead

What he will think? How he will react? Is this a stupid question? how dumb I am?

Believe me, there are no stupid questions. All you have to do is prepare yourself before asking. Be clear about what you want and even if you are not sure, give some time on it before approaching and you will get it…for sure. Right questions are always appreciated in software industry.
I have heard “If you are a fresher, you can ask question but as soon as you grow up, you cannot”
To me, this is an absolutely fallacious quote. You can ask at any point in time of your carreer..leave your hesitations in bay area and go.

5) Speak for yourself and your work related problems….in front of managers…in meetings or anywhere, whenever required. I have seen guys and girls who are impeccable technically but hesitate to tell the world about the problems they are facing in their work life.

6) Last one is of sheer importance. It’s the attitude towards work which counts at the end of the day. If your work is boring you can try out things to make it interesting. If the work is getting repetitive day by day, do it in a best possible way as if you do your daily activities like watching TV…listening radio….cooking…brooming…exercises earnestly.

e.g.
a)If you are running a script which takes lot of time, between that time, find out the different ways to optimize it or at least think about it. Even if you succeed in decreasing the time by 15 minutes, isn’t it not a motivation to reduce it further by 15 more minutes and hence more interesting think based search again.

b)If you have to do lot of manual entries in a file(Like I did!),try to find out how to automate it. Even if you don’t get succees,the pleasure of finding different things in the process will not let you get bored

You can devise different methods to make your work…but always believe that nothing is junk and even if it is,try to make out something of it…..as they harness electricity from garbage .

My metamorphosis from a hardware guy to a software engineer was not as effortless but the aptitude and attitude have brought me to this stage where I can now go and say..

Hey Shyam, I can do any kind of work in any domain…

Bangalore-Was that the hard Way?

2006-05-28T09:17:00.000+05:30

While collecting the boarding pass at domestic airport,New Delhi, the first and last things in my mind were air hostesses of Jet airways….it was my first ever flight and I along with Prakash was join Symbol Technologies,Bangalore...on June the 2nd 2005.

We both were new to this city and totally incognizant of surprises Bangalore was going to throw in coming days...We were excited and ready to learn life the hard way…with no parents to look you after..….no place which you can call home..…no hostel...…no mess hall…..no cell phones!!!....nobody close whom you knew except few seniors which we decided that we are NOT going to call them unless under paramount situation.

I had two bags with one full of books…...all kinds of books, the only treasure which I brought from Varanasi.It almost covered 20 Kgs …it was a strenuous job from me even to carry the bag on that broiling day in Delhi.. and smaller one had few Jeans and Shirts brought from Monastery(Every Delhi University student knows what a Monastery is!!) and some older ones.I love my clothes.I really do. So ई don’t try to replace them as frequently as anybody else would do and this meant that I won’t be buying any clothes in Bangalore for next three months…and Monastery clothes are the one’s which I am wearing till today.

So with these two assets of mine,I landed on the airport of Bangalore at around 2AM only to bump into gust of cool wind…..it was a tremendous change ....…two and half hours ago,we were facing the heat …..Welcome to Bangalore

More surprises were yet to come out of Pandora’s box…We had been provided accommodation in Admirality Square…it was a ritzy apartment but only worry we had was who will be there to recognize us…..after formalities at security,we had been told to go straight to flat no 208…..and then…..

Ding dong…ding dong……..I lost count how many times we rung it
Coming baba……....It was a lady

I thought she would be the owner of our flat who had the keys….and then after the door opened…it was a female of our age

Welcome to Bangalore…you guys are coming from Bombay??
No..from Delhi…can you give me the keys of our flat
What flat???this is your flat…commo’n in..
And haan, that is your room..this is ours

We didn’t show any emotions in front of her but… I can tell ya…it was a shocker for guys coming from small towns when we came to know that we will be staying with four females in the same flat for the next fifteen days!! Moreover, we had to share the resources …..

After a day or two, we became very comfortable with them and had good times after coming back from office. The girls working for ICICI call center were full of life and talked almost about every thing. But frankly, I used to fear from Cherry most…she was the one who always used to take the breath out of me by pretending to be scary …..horror movies …distorted faces were my biggest weakness and she realized it soon when I ran away from the TV screen when horror movie was broadcasted!!

One day my uncle called, I was in office…and Cherry picked the phone… Later when uncle again called…

Who was the girl who picked the phone?
Oh!!..woh caretaker thi….(She was caretaker)kaam karke chali jaati hai
But angrezi achcha bol rahee thi aur well mannered bhi thee
Bangalore mein aisa hi hota hai!!

That was a close save…..when I told this to Cherry,we laughed on that day like anything…

Amidst our laughter and discussions, soon we realized that our tenure at Admirality square is over and since we slept consistently on weekends, it was real trouble to find a new house. Hurriedly, we took one 2 BHK in BTM layout…without thinking much and from heaven of Admirality square….it was like “Welcome to hell".
Madhu joined us to stay in this hell along with Pranav.So now we 4 were staying together.

This house was closed…closed for sunlight…for air ….it was surrounded by a flour mill, a wood godown and a shop from three side…. Only one filthy rest room to share with.

Unfortunately, the room I and Madhu shared was worst striken.You could listen to Dhakh Dhakh of flour mill anytime…chats of worker of shop after 11PM and smoke of their bidi coming from the small common passage…sound of customers….the smell of filth coming from common toilet…..even during the day time, you had to study in light as no sunlight could reach there and only air we breathed out was the recycled one of our own.. …..as there was no place for ventilation…it was a nazi concentration camp for me. The situation became worst when Pranav started smoking.

I am one of those guys for whom it’s a must to switch off the lights in order to sleep. Even a single speck of light on my eyes disturbs. Moreover, I am very sensitive for sounds too…even if I could hear slightest of sound coming from 500 meters away, I can never sleep ..During nights when everybody slept, I tried hard but in vain. Many times I shrieked on the workers of shop who used to chat after 12…and my roommates thought I was talking in my dreams…..I felt like running out of the house….and was desperate to make a change.

On the other hand, Madhu was having problems from cigarette smokes and trauma of being a test engineer and staying within a pool of self proclaimed genius . You could easily tell…..He was frustrated and annoyed from his job and roommates who always took a shot on him. I always use to suggest him either ignore them or try for a new job…with his college friend Lucky joining him,he chose the first option….. And ultimately in few days….he left me alone. I was learning Bangalore…the hard way.

Only silver lining amidst all these bizarre circumstances was my FM radio bought from Marthahalli grey market in lieu of rupees 150 .We didn’t had TV by then and radio city 91 FM was only medium of entertainment and that too when few guys were not around as it was disturbing for them to listen Hindi songs! Even these days, I listen to it after 12 PM….

Fed up from living in the hell for three long months, one fine day all of us woke up and decided to make a change and soon we landed up in an apartment which offered everything…sunlight, air, larger rest rooms and three balconies where I can get wet in the rain or can read and write as well. Missing is one vital component…Madhu..but life is like that….full of compromises

After one year stay in Bangalore,I don’t feel it was tough to get my feet in…what I got in one year…ok….here I go:
now I have a place which I call my home…few good friends(If I mention more they will feel bad)… FM radio….a room of my own.. a computer to write.......internet connectivity…....lots of rain and freedom to get wet sometimes..express sometimes when people permit me to write on them!

Was that difficult readers?

Finding My Voice

2006-05-23T11:07:00.000+05:30

This article by Collier is close to my heart....I am not the orignal author but at least somebody is there who thinks in cohesion with me...striking similarity with my thought process...so sharing it....take a shot..it is worth reading

I always had trouble talking to girls—until I met the one that really heard me.

May 18, 2006 -

As soon as I said the words to the beautiful woman I was falling in love with, I knew I had blown my chance. “I think that maybe I might like you.”

Good grief. I’ve never been much of a smooth talker, but come on. “Think?” “Maybe?” “Might?” Talk about hedging your bets. What was wrong with me? I should have told her how I really felt: that I thought she was beautiful and smart and funny and unlike anyone I’d ever met.

I’d been readying myself for this moment for weeks, ever since a friend at church introduced me to the pretty new blonde all the guys were talking about. For the last hour, as we walked along the river that ran past her apartment building, I’d been gathering my nerve, mulling over what I would say—and the best I could come up with was, “I think that maybe I might like you.”

Ugh.

Growing up, I had never enjoyed speaking. And not just in the public sense—I hated speaking in general, because I was terrible at it. I spoke too quickly. Words burst out of my mouth and scurried all over each other like mice fleeing a burning house. I had to repeat myself over and over and over. Slow down, people would tell me, breathe. I also had problems with enunciation. Words ending in “p” or “t” sounded anything but crisp when they came out of my mouth. How could I finish a word when another one was already barreling through my larynx?

These, of course, were mere mechanical issues. The real problem was that I had difficulty thinking of things to talk about. Not with my friends, that was easy. We’d talk about girls, or TV, or girls we’d seen on TV. But talking to girls, well, that wasn’t so easy.

When I was 15, the friend of a friend of a cutegirl from a nearby town stopped me in the hallway at school. She told me that her friend’s friend (the cute girl) liked me. I rang her up that night and we talked for a half hour. I thought we had a wonderful chat.

The following Friday, I hitched a ride to the cute girl’s town. When I entered the arcade where the local kids hung out, I saw her, and the look on her face said it all: she didn’t like me anymore. She said it would be best if we were just friends. We never spoke to each other again.

I spent the rest of the night sitting on the ground behind the hardware store, alone in the rain, feeling sorry for myself. The rain was cold and soaked through my jacket, but it seemed appropriate. I thought I was the biggest loser who ever lived. What had I said that was so bad?

Eventually, word got around that she thought I was boring. I’d talked a bit too much about my new running shoes. I didn’t recall talking about sneakers, but it was possible, I guess. I had been nervous; in truth, I didn’t recall much of what I’d said.

Things got better when I went to college. I still wasn’t the most confident guy around, but I was comfortable with who I was, or, at least, with who I was becoming. So what if I couldn’t dazzle girls with pretty talk? I was a nice guy. They would see that.

But my bumbling mouth continued to cloud their vision. One time, I was having coffee with a girl that I liked and the conversation turned to high-school activities. “I used to run track,” she said.

“You must have been in good shape back then,” I replied. I wasn’t implying that she wasn’t still in good shape, but that’s how she took it. She grabbed her coffee and left.

My roommate didn’t share my handicap. When he talked to a girl, his voice turned to syrup and he’d coo in her ear and tell her that he’d never felt “this way” about anyone before. If that didn’t work, he would share heartbreaking tales of his troubled childhood, even managing to squeeze out a tear or two. It was all show, of course, but a good one.

I didn’t want to be like him. The voice I spoke to my mother with was good enough for everyone else. I wasn’t going to make up stories to get attention. Besides, I knew that someone, someday, would give me a chance to make a second or even third impression. And, who knows, maybe she would see that a good heart is more important than good diction.

Years later, walking with the pretty blonde on the river by her apartment building on an unusually warm October evening, I had hoped she would be that someone. But with a typical display of verbal buffoonery, I’d erased that hope. Or so I thought.

She stopped walking and looked up at me. She laughed. It turned out, in spite of my less-than-impressive linguistic skills, she kinda sorta liked me, too. And two years later, she married me.

“I think that maybe I might like you.”

You know, now that I think of it, that’s not so bad. It’s cute, in an awkward sort of way. Maybe I’ll give Hallmark a call.

Collier lives in Ottawa, Canada.
© 2006 Newsweek, Inc.

Ankahee--THE UNTOLD

2006-05-21T21:44:00.000+05:30

At last…..YES…I watched a movie after two long months in a multiplex.Since my flat mates don’t watch bollywood movies as in their own words, it destroys their sanity,I had to sponsor one of my friends for the sake of company. I decided to watch “Ankahee”which ultimately turned out to be a good one(For me,sad part was Aisha Takia’s absence),though quite a few people who went there to watch a fleshy show by Eisha or Indian basic instinct were disappointed and had to return back after intermission!!

Since I like watching movies on relationships and this movie has been woven around complex relationships, I was just lost in the movie till the very end. One more USP was that is a newer version of 1980’s classic movie Arth…...true story of Mahesh Bhatt’s life.

Ankahee ---A tale close to ace director Vikram Bhatt's heart is Aftab,Amisha and Eisha Deol starrer.This movie is inspired from extramarital affairs of the director Vikram Bhatt (portrayed by Aftab)and miss universe 1994 Sushmita Sen(played by Eisha Deol).You can call it an art movie of the current era so go and watch this ONLY if you like to watch those sort of movies.Here I present how I perceived Ankahee from my eyes and brain...…

Movie starts with Vikram Bhatt dedicating it to his daughter Krishna and a beautiful song. Dr.Shekhar(Aftab) is having a lovely wife Nandita(Amesha) who was having a career before marriage but leaves everything just to become a caring housewife..

You are a professional interior designer,why don’t you start it again with your previous employer…...says Shekhar

In reply,Nandita says

I just want to design my own house…after getting married,I am on a vacation of a lifetime.....

Shekhar enjoys small things in life and is very happy with her daughter Sheena and wife Nandita .....until ...….Miss World(Miss universe in real life)Kavya (Eisha Deol) arrives in his life. She tried suicide by cutting her veins…...not happy with life....is suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder…alone and very sad and enters into movie with a striking piece….

Doctor, I am neither in hurry to live nor to die.. take your own time!

Dr. Shekhar gives her medical as well as emotional attention too and Kavya starts taking things too seriously. Her persona and pain attracts Shekhar who in spite of having a sweet wife falls for it. And this shows how weak and vulnerable as a person was our Dr.Shekhar…

Once she becomes fit, everybody in hospital takes her autograph but she takes autograph from Dr. Shekhar....

Look, your wound has heeled says Shekhar
Doc....wound has not heeled,it is now invisible for outside world..replies Kavya painfully

Trapped in Her brutal love, Shekhar starts deviating from reponsibilites…..but sometimes he does care for his daughter Sheena. It’s an irony that his wife Nandita who is completely dedicated...….physically and emotionally towards him fails in her each bizarre attempt to save her man…...being a weak and confused man, Shekhar gets completely entangled…...and frustratingly…...some day he yells on his wife..

Why you are always nice to me?Why my happiness,my choice is a priority..don’t you have your own life..what good I have done to you?
Because..You are my husband…says Nandita innocently

Movie moves ahead with slow pace and ultimately,Shekhar leaves his family to stay with Kavya….even after warning given by his friend that Kavya can never be satisfied. ..

Peak of movie,according to me comes when Shekhar talks to Nandita on phone about divorce and she just runs amongst heavy rain to her previous employer at night

Do you still have the vacancy?
Yes…but how come you here at this time!!
Thank God…now my daughter is safe

This pure love can only come from a mom……

After the divorce,Shekhar fails to generate confidence in miss world that he has forgot about his family and inevitable happens…..at last….depressive Kavya suicides saying

This life has been a failure….I will have to try again

Here I will end my commentary.Don’t watch this movie if you are looking for a fast pace rib-tickling movie.Comic scenes are almost absent…Starts lightly but ends on a very serious note…could have been little shorter…

Watch this movie for a stunning performance by Eisha Deol…for the complicated human relationships…for three beautiful songs…for few superb dialogues…for a newer version of classic Arth ....for Vikram Bhatt and Sushmita Sen’s almost true story….and of course...to know what kind of movies I preffer!!
A 3.5/5 according to me though times of India has given 2.5…

We will meet again…….someday

2006-05-14T20:30:00.001+05:30

Dear Raju,

Surprised to see this mail…..as always, I am full of sparkling surprises and who knows it better than you. Today, the trigger was a song sent by The Friend. I was in office working on a screwed up code and this song dawned upon me

लग जा गले .के……… फिर ये हसीन रात हो ना हो
शायद फिर इस जनम में …मुलाकात हो ना हो...

I still remember circa 15December ,2001,the night we spent together and for me it is unforgettable …still as fresh as a daisy in my mind.

Let’s not keep readers in suspense…

That day was your last with me and thereafter, though our friendship sustained, we both took altogether different approaches towards life and our careers.

The keys of your flat were with that crazy professor who was your neighbour and he was sleeping like anything at 8:00PM….probably he was a drug addict !!He did not open the door even after 50 door bells and 35 thuds on the door. Now it was a tough task for us to get into his house and take out the keys…..

In my background, I can hear

हम को मिली है आज ये घडियाँ नसीब से
जीं भर के देख लीजिये हमको करीब से

So …..what we did…simple…took a long stick and from the small hole, we started pricking his ear…and he woke up …we had the keys now!!

what next we did….since nobody was at your place, we were free to watch our favorite channel “FTV” but soon it became boring…..it was 10:00PM

We agreed…at last to go Harishchandra ghat…..it’s a place where corpse are burnt
…YES….....at the oddly hour during night
Why?
To have a discussion on our favourite topic those days……The thin red line between life and death

फिर आप के नसीब में …ये बात हो ना हो
शायद फिर इस जनम में मुलाकात हो ना हो

We reached at the ghat and tried to explain our philosophies to each other….for the last time. You were discussing power of prayer with an atheist and it was bound to come at grind lock!! We never reached at any conclusion but I loved to have discussion with you though we quarreled at every argument……

पास आईए कि हम नही आएंगे बार बार
बाहें गले में डाल के हम रो ले जार जार

Then for the first time in our lives, we watched a hermit with marijuana in one hand looking for bones into burnt ashes of pyre and our topic changed …..We talked till 4AM on a chilly winter night, recalling many incidents where we were the culprits together

It was our so called “first salary” when we went to Chota Mirzapur (A place near Varanasi) against will of many well wishers, to sell those cheap drugs to doctors practicing in villages and managed to make some 100 bucks each.
Now you may laugh …what was first salary(in job)…..1000 times higher than your ACTUAL first salary…always remember your roots buddy!!

It was my so called “birthday” and your parents gave permission to chill out and we went straight to a party where only non-vegetarian food was served and as always none of us was invited. After enjoying the chicken feast..(mind you…you are a Brahmin) we both were beaten badly once our lie was caught. Afterall,they are our parents......

It was my so called “exam” when I came to study at your home with permission from home….but our intentions were evil....we locked ourselves in TV room and started TV to watch our favorite channel(called Fashion TV ) .Soon we were busted when your father came to know that what we were doing inside….... from the glow of TV screen.....though he didn't say anything ,I am sure he knew what we were watching from my intution....the expressions said it all....we both made a promise to our parents for not telling lie under any circumstance...and I am sure you must have kept that promise as I have done....

आँखों से फिर ये प्यार की बरसात हो ना हो
शायद फिर इस जनम में मुलाकात हो ना हो

Even after revolution in communication, we hardly talk to each other or drop mail!!

I can understand that as now you have become responsible….life of 40 persons working under you depends on you.......and now, you have somebody special who deserves lot of attention and care......Although we are on entirely different paths provided by destiny,I am sure our paths will meet...........someday......somewhere

The Friend who sent this beautiful song is suffering from typhoid.....Being a great supporter of prayer, can you show me the power of your prayer.....the song deserves credit for this mail and the person who sent deserves wishes well above “get well soon” which is too artificial.....Can your prayers bring my Friend back to normal (apart from pills given by doc)....If answer is yes in your opinion, then please do and I urge all readers to do the same if they believe in prayers!

लग जा गले से...के फिर ये हसीन रात हो ना हो ना
शायद फिर इस जनम में मुलाकात हो ना हो

लग जा गले से…से……से

The song has ended and I am replaying it…..

Love,
Raju Shashtry

....For everything else there is Mastercard

2006-05-03T16:10:00.000+05:30

"Sometimes you got to trust your instincts" says LinBaba and I exactly did that when Shrek asked me to join their gang for Pondicherry trip. At that time I was well acquainted with Joshira and Shrek and rest six were aliens for me. But somehow even after Abhinav retreated, I had a gut feeling that this is going to be one helluva trip...and I was absolutely right.

Later in the evening, when the caravan arrived in front of apartment to pick me,I was greeted with a big HELLO and my reply was as meek as it could have been. Thereafter, Kiddo bowled a bouncer

"Saurabh will sing a song"
"Where the heck I have stuck” I thought
"Me and song...no no, it’s not possible"

and then the gang started yelling and I succumbed....succumbed in front of a terrible bunch of guys and girls who enjoyed their friendship and backed each other with all the force available. It had to be HDDCS song (my all time favourite movie) and YES,I sang like a dog moaning during night...everybody clapped and encouraged...different from earlier instances of me singing and everybody laughing!!

Luckily, I got sweet Bors(As I call him)as my hotel room mate and as soon as we entered in room, just to reduce the fatigue...burst of laughter from both of us on a non-veg joke...I could sense that FUN has started to unfold...

Later all nine of us went to a beach. For the first time goers, it was something...again a yell from Joshira could tell her excitement. I wonder from where she gets all the energy to yell or to sing nonstop or even chat.

"What is the secret of your energy Joshira?" Somebody asked
"Strepsils khao,khud jaan jaao" My answer

Beach was beautiful but more impressive was the energy these folks from B'lore brought to the ambience. Chana, Me, Kiddo and UT were buried deep inside the sand and Sweet Bors was searching for French women who were taking sun bath...I could observe that of all, Chana was enjoying most while me and Jakkula were with Joshira as she kept on struggling with the mighty force of water and tumbled once in every 3 minute.Everybody drank at least 2 liters of saline water but were still adamant to come out of it.

In the evening, gang was roaming around the beautiful seashore of Pondi. Meanwhile Me,Chana and Bors found solace...the soothing effect of water coming and colliding with rocks made us silent for half an hour and we were in trance unless Shrek, the leader called us.....I was with my inner peace after a long long time.

Forgot to mention Jakkula...for him I sang a song from "Nadiya ke Paar" earnestly and he demanded more. I felt guilty for not knowing my native language....Sorry Jakkula, next time I will learn some Bhojpuri songs from my Mom and will definitely deliver.

Sunrise was an experience of a lifetime for a nature lover like me...I was lost somewhere and probably the same was going through the mind of Joshira,Chana and Shrek who chose to leave bed early for the Sunrise. Sun came out slowly from the horizon like a newly born baby coming out of womb of mother. It was a feeling that can't be explained.....you have to live that moment in order to understand.

I have been to few beaches in past but the beach we went on Sunday morning was best of the lot with a narrow passage connecting it to backwaters...ideal for swimming. Each one of us was perplexed to watch the clean water. Initially, I hesitated to take bath....but alas...could not control and jumped in with my CAP on! Sea waves were strong as a demon and none of us knew swimming completely (Sorry UT!!), still everybody was bold enough to fight.....The stakes were higher but FUN was unlimited. And the Gang chose to have fun. Holding each others hand, care for every member and enjoying each passing moment ...probably Godfather would have been envy with this bunch!!

If Sunday morning was that beautiful, evening was amazing. Based on French architecture ,church was truly a piece of art. Everybody except me prayed and I listened the sound of silence...Dinner at Promenade (a sea side French hotel) was delightful...I tried hard to have a photo with the dazzling lady in my favorite black saree but only managed to ask

"Excuse me Ma'm, where I can find spoons?" nervously

"Sir, they are on your table!!"

"Bulllll shiiiiiiiit"I thought

And thereafter, me and Joshira went again on sea shore, both of us share same interest so it was very easy to communicate with her. Amazing is her analysis capabilities and level of intelligence in every domain. We chatted for 1 hour on every aspect of life. She has given me a new perspective to look at life.

"Why you are wasting your life on somebody who is not worth of it...?"
I was Speechless once again

Next day was travel...travel and lots of travel.Auroville, Mahabalipuram and Chennai.....all were fine but Pondicherry trip gave me six new friends

1)Bors---Little wonder, amazing talent
2) Kiddo--A kid by heart...very poor in deciphering jokes(Talab's interpretation was pathetic :-)
3)UT----The Cool dude, Mature and enjoys each moment
4)Chana---Mature and very sweet, always ready to help.
5)Jakkula--Fun loving....Bhojpuri loving too!!
6)Smriti--unique laughter... suitable to replace Siddhu in Great Indian laughter challenge...

Before this trip, I had a prejudiced notion that since i have a credit card,every possible fun can be bought from it.

"You can go for bungee jumping or trekking or moonlight cycling or water sports....for just 1000 bucks” I used to get these messages everyday

NO...a big No.This trip was wonderful because of The Gang...the Joshira’s, the Jakkula's or UT's....not because of amount of money we spent or the exotic places we went but because of adventures of Bors.....laughter of Smriti.....Amazing Shrek

I can hear only one thing in my mind
"There is something that money can't buy...for everything else, there is Mastercard"

Long live the gang... long live our friendship...
Looking forward for the next trip

Well,I deserve this break!

2006-04-28T09:56:00.001+05:30

Folks,

I am going on vaction to celebrate THE laborer's day on a coastal city called PONDICHERRY.

New post will be available once I will come back to life so till then,here is a fine article...

(sorry to those who have already read that......)

March 13, 2006

The moment of victory: A nation has to pinch itself

South Africa awoke to a new reality on Monday: the Australians are beatable, even in matches that matter. England, of course, proved this to the world last year. But down here on the southern tip of Africa we didn't believe it.

The preceding events of this season seemed to reinforce the truth as it has been received in South Africa, where Australia's superiority over the first half of the summer seeped into the national consciousness like a New Year hangover.
Even now that South Africa had the Australians where they wanted them - in South Africa - the wheels refused to stay properly on. Victory was well won in the 20-over cartoon and in the first two one-dayers, but an ominous lapse allowed Australia to pull one back in a morbid match in Port Elizabeth.

Then they levelled the series with a helter-skelter one-wicket win in Durban that had about it a smidgen of the swagger that South Africans have come to dread over the years. Now what?

"The overriding thought I had on Friday, even though we lost the game, was that it was the first time I had seen Australians do a few silly things and make basic mistakes," Jonty Rhodes told Cricinfo. "We put them under pressure and they showed they are human.

"Australians have had this amazing self-belief, and against them we've sometimes been labelled chokers. That's harsh, but sometimes we've lacked that self-confidence and belief in our own ability. When the Australians have you by the neck they don't let go, they stick a knife in while they're strangling you."

A knife, made of graphite, was an apt enough metaphor for Ricky Ponting's bat on Sunday. He wielded it like a madman with a method, and the look in his eye was unnervingly akin to Jack Nicholson's in The Shining. 434 for 4! Now what?

At that stage, Rhodes had another overriding thought: "Please, Lord, let it rain! Hard, hard rain! The clouds were forming and I was doing the old rain dance. But it didn't work, and thank goodness it didn't."

The stunned crowd was relieved for the distraction offered during the lunch break by the stars of Tsotsi, the South African winner of this year's Oscar for best foreign language film, as they paraded their golden statuette around the ground.

Boucher and Pollock celebrate an incredible result

South Africa's coach, Mickey Arthur, couldn't afford such flights of fancy. "I said we could either roll over and die, or we could set ourselves targets," he said. "We've been saying we want to play brave cricket. It was time to live up to that brand. We wanted 180 after 25 overs and after 25 we had scored 229, so the boys didn't listen to me.

For Rhodes, the target seemed out of reach. "It was a great wicket, but I didn't think 435 was possible," he said. "Everything went the Australians' way in their innings. They batted really well, but their mis-hits fell into the gaps or went to the boundary. They chanced their arm, and everything just clicked. And you don't often see two teams doing that.

"But Herschelle [Gibbs] got to the crease very early, and that played into our hands. Then Graeme and Herschelle played superbly."

The scale of this epic revealed itself in the chariot race that South Africa's innings became. Somewhere, surely, Ben Hur was watching and smiling warmly.

"We were scoring at nine an over, and the rate required was still nine an over," Rhodes said. "And you think, 'How the hell is that possible?' That is real pressure.

We're always saying don't look at the scoreboard, but you can't help yourself. But the guys didn't panic, which was great to see."

The Wanderers crowd, the most patriotic in the country, had been smashed into silence by the Aussie onslaught. But, with the help of Smith and Gibbs, they began to believe in the impossible.

"The Wanderers has such a good vibe when South Africa are on top, and it can be quite an intimidating place for the opposing team," Rhodes said. "The crowd was very quiet for a while, but then they just went berserk."

The removal of Gibbs and his lightsabre numbed them again. Mark Boucher, though, didn't mind the quiet. True grit never does, it just gets on with the job. Meanwhile, Johan van der Wath took his Sylvester Stallone impression to another level with a combination of Rocky-esque blows to keep the ember alive.

Then Australia dismissed van der Wath, Roger Telemachus and Andrew Hall in the space of 18 deliveries. South Africa were 433 for 9, and there were three balls left in the match. It was the No. 11, Makhaya Ntini, who walked out to face an increasingly pale Brett Lee.

Now what?

Lee pitched the ball wide of the stumps, and Ntini dabbed it to third man for the precious single that levelled the scores and put Boucher back on strike. "Makhaya Ntini has never played a more important cricket shot in his entire life," Arthur said, and who would argue with that.

Now what?

"No runouts! No runouts!" the injured Shaun Pollock screamed from the players' balcony in a nervous nod to South Africa's Edgbaston `99 nightmare. The fractured slivers of his voice were at least as shrill as the violins in the shower scene from Psycho.

Boucher had that covered. "If it goes to one of the inner ring fielders, we don't run," he told Ntini. But, of course, Boucher smashed it through mid-on for four to win the match. For South Africans, the sound of music - throaty, beer-swilled, braai-smoked, music - filled the air. For Australians, the apocalypse was now.

Now what?

"What does this mean for South Africa? Well, nothing much changes because the guys know what they are capable of," said Rhodes. "Right now it's going to be important for the South Africans to get off their high. Mentally, you are fatigued after a game like that.

"Your adrenalin levels go through the roof, and the guys need to come down to earth quickly." What now? The Test series starts in Cape Town on Thursday, and it could be titanic.

Telford Vice works for the MWP Media agency in South Africa

I OFFER MY SOUL TO YOU !

2006-04-22T10:13:00.000+05:30

While on my way to office today morning, I saw a handsome guy,in his mid twenties crossing the road.Unique thing was …he was not alone. His injured hand, being carefully held by his mother and mother as watchful as ever was protecting him from traffic anamolies.This made me write something about my biggest fan(I am not talking of fans on Orkut) and critique as well ---My own Mom .

Accroding to a popular Indian belief, if a lady had length of feet thumb smaller than the index finger, she is dominating in nature. Well….that’s why my grandmother had a glitch while saying YES for the marriage. And even after 27 years of their happy married life, my mom had never ever tried to dominate dad(except when needed).Now I
can say to all these blind beliefs----GO TO HELL….leave my countrymen who still believe in these shameful objects of utter disdain!

During the first five years of my life,I called her “Ammi”…probably couldn’t pronounciate mummy . Ammi is not even a graduate but her concepts in math and logic are rock solid. I still owe my skill of basic math to her. I learnt multiplication and division, even before many of my classmates started addition!

Then most painful moment came when I had to leave her to stay in city for my education. She was left back in village to act as caretaker of Haveli and old grandfather.Me and Dad visited at week ends and I really waited for that. Every night I missed three things: 1)Her stories…Dad often used to come late
2)Fresh food…I was surviving on insipid food prepared in the morning
3)Bundling of my long hairs which she did efficiently…Dad was a rookie for that

So invariably, I wept at nights and counted number of days remaining to meet my Diva.

Finally after five long years, Ammi joined us…and I just can’t explain the happiness. Everything started to fall in it’s place.So from then onwards, we stayed together, unless I got the job. She did every thing which I guess any Ammi in the world would do for her children like accompanying you to the doctor whenever you are sick or always enquiring about the status of academics or night outs for her feverish son. This is a non-exhaustive list……….Few interesting incidents which come to my mind are::

While watching Star movies

hai Shastri! Tumko kaise samajh aa jata hai ye sab,itni tej tej bolte hain Angerezi
(How come you understand their English, they speak very fast)

While watching the movie Charlie’s Angels
Arre Bhagwaan,Kuch toh sharam karo….kya dekh rahe ho inn adhnangi ladkiyon ko
(Shame on you watching these semi naked girls!)
And then she changes the channel to listen Morari Baapu(spiritual orator)……and asks me to do the same!!!!

While chatting to Rajni, the girl next door

Hmmm,bahot baatein ho rahi hai tum logon ki aajkal(You guys are talking too much these days)

While taking a look at my cell phone when I was at home last holidays

Who is Madhu?
Arre,He is a collegue..his name is Madhusudan..pyaar se Madhu bolte hain
“mujhe mat sikhao…I want to meet HER when I will come to Bangalore,bahot call kartee hai tumhe”

Poor Madhu…my Ammi wants to meet you…..hahahahaahahahahaah

Apart from all the funny incidents listed above,she is the one who can do anything to protect me. Recently heard, for her atheist son,she took some five kilometers long ,barefooted walk..in order to please Hindu Gods so that her son starts paying some respect towards them! She started taking interests in movies and cricket matches just to please me.On my last visit,I gave her DVD of movie “Iqbal” which she liked very much.

Now-a-days,she is suffering from severe backache and staying 2500 kilometers away ,I can not do much for her accept..

“Mummi,jitney bhi paise lagein…AIIMS,Apolo ya Sanjai Gandhi mein dikha lijiye”
Don’t bother about the money factor,visit best possible hospitals

“Beta,Aur kya de sakte ho tum mujhe” what else can you offer me

“My three credit cards,two debit cards,ummmm my Reebok shoes and FM radio”

“ye sab nahi chahiye mujhe” I don’t need all these

What else I can give you Ammi…..I have offered everything which I love…..
Ok… Take away all my writings
Take away all my books
Take away all my knowledge

I feel it's still not sufficient….I offer my soul to you Ammi…that’s the least I can do.

Love you Always……..and Missing you terribly

Dedicated to all the moms in this World…..

Genius

2006-04-20T16:33:00.001+05:30

Sorry dear reader,

My new post "I Offer my soul to you" is still not ready so for the time being,I dedicate my blogspot to a phenomena called "Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar"

"Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium, there is something we don't know, something beyond scientific measure. Something that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that, forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to bat, people switch on their TV sets and switch off their lives " BBC on Sachin

Jab main chota ladka tha.. . When I was a child

1988, Mumbai, February 23-25

Tendulkar, 14 and Kambli, 16, compile a 664-run unbroken partnership for Shardashram Vidyamandir against St Xavier's at Azad Maidan. It remains the highest partnership recorded in any form of cricket. Kambli made 349 not out , Tendulkar made 326 not out.

" Achrekar sir's assistant ran all around trying to attract our attention so that he could tell us to declare. Sachin kept telling me not to look at him " Vinod Kambli

First Blood

1989, Sialkot, 14 December
On that last day of the last Test of his first Test series in Pakistan Sachin gets hit on the nose by a Waqar delivery. Sachin falls down, gets up and wipes away the gushing blood. Eventually he scores 57.

" It didn't feel nice, with blood flowing from my nose, but I couldn't leave. I told myself, I want to thrash this bowler "
Tendulkar

Topping the Test

1990, Old Trafford, 14th August

At 17 yrs and 112 days Sachin becomes the second-youngest centurion in Test history. His 119 not out against England helps India draw the game. It still remains among his most valuable Test innings.

"How could anyone so young be so good at the highest level"
David Frith, cricket writer

Sachin ka favourite...

1992, Perth, 2-3 February
India is struggling at 135 for 6 at the WACA, the bounciest cricket pitch in the world. Tendulkar scripts a counter-attacking gem of 114. It is his favourite innings.

" It's a great pity that an innings which deserved a viewership of a hundred thousand is being watched by such a small crowd "
Richie Benaud

The Bowler

1993, Kolkata, 24 November
With South Africa needing just six runs to win the last over of their Hero Cup semi-final against India, Tendulkar bowls a sensational last over giving away just 3 runs and fashioning an Indian win.

" I had on apprehension, that in trying to restrict the batsmen I would end up bowling a wide or a no-ball especially before I come in to bowl the last ball, I was ultra cautious "
Sachin Tendulkar

Mera number aa gaya

1994, Auckland, 27th March
Opens in an ODI for the first time against New Zealand. Goes on to make 82 off 49 balls.

"Tendulkar was editing the highlights too fast "
Jeremy Coney

1995, Mumbai, October

Signs a 5-year contract worth Rs 31.5 crore with World Tel which makes him the richest cricketer of the world.

"I'm betting on the power of Sachin and the power of the Indian economy "
Late Mark Mascrenhas, World Tel Chief

1996

Named Indian skipper at the age of 23.

"My gut feeling is that responsibility will see greater consistency from him and less throwing away of the wicket to casual shots "
Sunil Gavaskar

The Pink Slip

1998

Tendulkar is sacked from captaincy after a 15-month tenure during which India won just 3 out of 17 Tests.

" We removed Sachin because he could not take the pressure of batting and captaincy "
Ramakant Desai

Iski to gayee! (Reuters)

1998, Sharjah April 22-24

Scores two back-to-back tons against Australia to help India reach the final and win it.

" I'll be going to bed having nightmares of Sachin just running down the wicket and belting me back over the head for a six "
Shane Warne

True grit (Reuters)

1999, 30-31 January

With an injured back, Tendulkar makes 136 chasing 271 against Pakistan. When Sachin gets out, India need 17 more runs. Eventually, India fall short by 12.

"It was one of the finest innings played under pressure. He is the best batsman in the world "
Wasim Akram

'Careful with that ball Sachin'
(Reuters)

2001, Port Elizabeth, 19 November

Tendulkar is cautioned and fined by match referee Mike Denness for ball tampering in the 2nd Test against South Africa. The resulting outcry in India and the impasse between BCCI and ICC forces the latter to review the decision.

"You have to think five times before you make such a decision"
Chetan Chauhan

2002

Tendulkar's batting genius pulled India out out of trouble in the third and final Test against the West Indies in Kolkata. The little master's unbeaten 114, his 31st Test ton, helped India avoid an innings defeat. Tendulkar delighted nearly 60,000 spectators with his rich stroke-play as the Windies pace-attack looked clueless.

"Sachin denied us a win "
Carl Hooper

Fanatical Flames (Reuters)

2004 -World Cup

After a public backlash following a disastrous performance against Australia, Tendulkar played the interlocutor, pleading to the fans to maintain calm in a rare public statement.

"We will fight till the last ball is bowled, please support us "
Tendulkar

Mocking the attack (Reuters)

2004- World Cup
It was a merciless Sachin that took on Shoaib Akhtar head on. The result: The faster Shoaib bowled, the quicker his deliveries screamed to the fence.
Run odyssey
An effortless clip to midwicket off Dutch bowler Edgar Schiferli, and Sachin Tendulkar eases past Javed Miandad as the highest run-getter in the World Cup.
PREVIOUS NEXT

" Tujhe ko pata hai tune kiska catch chora hai! "
Akram to Razzak, after the latter dropped Tendulkar

Merlin of Multan

The Reaction!

Bamboozled
Sachin Tendulkar celebrates after dismissing Moin Khan off the last ball on the third day of the first Test match against Pakistan at Multan.

"What we (Zimbabwe) need is 10 Tendulkars"
Paul Strang

2004- India's tour of Pakistan
Five days of hard play. Runs scored 194; wickets taken 2. Critics called it unsporting when the Master Blaster spoke to the press about the missing six runs. Sachin's performance at Multan is testimony to the fact that all ends well if he plays well.

"I waited a long time for this win'"
Tendulkar

Consensus is that Sir Donald Bradman was the best batsman ever to play Cricket. Sir Don did not play one-day Cricket but if he did, he could easily be Sachin Tendulkar.

Fooled!

2004- India's tour to Pakistan
Moin Khan plays for a leg-cutter. But to his horror, Tendulkar's delivery -- the last of the day -- does not turn and goes through his legs onto the stumps.

" You take Don Bradman away and he is next up I reckon"
Steve Waugh

Here are a few things in the realms of fantasy but which could well become a reality in the years to come:

1. Tendulkar will be the first Indian sportsperson to be granted Bharat Ratna.

2. The Reserve Bank of India will mint a special 100-rupee coin with Tendulkar's face on one side. The figure 100 a symbolic tribute to the master.

3. A stamp and a first day cover featuring Tendulkar will be among the many honours that will come his way on his retirement.

4. Cricket's showpiece stadium, the Eden Gardens, will be renamed after Tendulkar.

5. The great venue in Kolkata will also play host to Tendulkar's benefit. The over 100,000 people at the watch will be a new record for any benefit anywhere in the world.

6. Cricket's World Cup will have a permanent trophy. It will be named after Tendulkar - statistically the greatest player ever in the abridged version of the game.

7. An ageing MF Husain will pay tribute to Tendulkar by publicly painting a picture. It will show Tendulkar wrapped in the Indian tricolour galloping with horses, with Tendulkar ahead of the horses!

8. Tendulkar will be made chairman of the selection committee despite the presence of several seniors in the committee.

9. After serving as selector, Tendulkar will become the BCCI president - elected unopposed after nation-wide clamour by the players.

10. Bandra, the place where the hero spent all his life, will be renamed Sachin Tendulkar Nagar.

11. The Sahitya Sahawas building where Tendulkar grew up will be deemed a heritage building by the Archaeological department. And the house where he lived till recently will be thrown open to visitors one day in a year - on his birthday.

12. The MRF-Sachin Tendulkar Cricket Foundation will be the Mecca for young hopefuls all over the world with some of the best names in the game as coaches.

13. Tendulkar will enter the Guinness Book of World Records for being the subject of more books than any other cricketer in the world.

14. A Sachin Tendulkar Museum will be established in Mumbai which will become one of the great tourist attractions.

15. By the time he retires, Tendulkar would have moved into a fortress of a house that will find tourists flocking to get a darshan of the demi-God.

16. Political parties will make a beeline to have him in their party, but Tendulkar will stay clear. Tendulkar, however, will take up the post of Sheriff of Mumbai.

17. April 24, Tendulkar's birthday, will be declared as Ekta Din. A day when all differences - political, linguistic, religious etc - are set aside to foster national pride. That is what Tendulkar was able to achieve when he was at the crease and that is what the day aims to achieve in his honour.

18. Tendulkar will net more income from endorsements and other promotional activities in retirement than the highest paid active Indian sportsperson.

19. India will have its own Mt Rushmore in the hills of Lonavala. In a fantastic tribute to two of the greatest sons of the soil, the Maharashtra state government will commission a top sculptor of the day to etch the faces of Tendulkar and Gavaskar carved on the rocks. The 80-foot sculpture will give a spectacular look for travellers on the Mumbai-Pune Highway amid the sheer drop of the Western Ghats.

Chuck "The" Great Norris

2006-04-16T11:48:00.000+05:30

Dedicated to those who were unaware of this sensational Man..(Neehhhh)

# Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

# The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

# Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

# Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

# If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

# When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

# Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.

# CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

# There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

# What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

# Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

# Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

# Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

# Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

# A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

# If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

# Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.

# Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

# Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

# Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

# Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

# Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

# Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

# In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

# Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

# Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

# Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

# Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

# The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

# Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

# Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

# When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

# Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

# Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

#Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

#Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

#Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
#When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
#Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

#It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
#The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

#Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.

This one is BEST

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

For more on Chuck Norris please visit :http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Colored--Poem

2006-04-11T18:41:00.001+05:30

When I born, I Black...
When I grow up, I Black...
When I go in Sun, I Black...
When I scared, I Black..
When I sick, I Black..
And when I die,I still black...

And you White fellow..
When you born, you pink..
When you grow up, you White...
When you go in Sun, you Red..
When you cold, you blue...
When you scared, you yellow..
When you sick, you Green...
And when you die, you Gray... And you call me colored???

A Poem by an African child

ZEN and The Art Of Orkutting

2006-04-10T20:23:00.000+05:30

Orkut-The famous social networking site is addictive and this I can say from my experience. Everyday, I visit it at least 10 times, be it in office or back home. Either while travelling or in meeting, I somehow feel like taking a look into my number of scraps while making sure that manager is no way near or number of fans or even the private messages sent through it. But I thank Orkut Buyukkokten(the person responsible for this havoc)from my heart as I have found many of my friends on Orkut who were lost in the vast sea of time ………

The competition for number of scraps, best possible profile or number of fans or no. of testimonials is even more prominent amongst ladies(at least few of them I know!).So like me, there are umpteen number of males or females who are addicted to live in this virtual world…the world of Orkut where the feeling is expressed by stupid emotional characters, where photographs of ladies are morphed and put into X rated sites and where all the stupidest discussions take place in communities. Somehow, people(including me) enjoy it like marijuana …….

For the ladies, number of fans is most attractive offer….

She has got only 32 fans…mine are 46…blushing
She has one fan club too…sadly

For the single males…..

I love you…written in scrapbook of a good looking lady whom he has never met
I am this and this….wanna friends?
C’mon guys,let us face the truth.We have not been created to live in the virtual world….not at all.

Guys staying in Rio…leave Orkut and go outside. Just listen to the music nature has created. Listen the little birdie singing .Take a look at the clear blue sky just above you and feel the blue color inside you mind…not the blue color of Orkut!!Look at the beautiful flower, touch it and smell the scent coming out of it. It will be really satisfying ….

Girls staying in Varanasi…Go to the beautiful ghats besides the river Ganges…listen calmly the sound of water…kal kal kal .Look at the waves….see how they quarrel each other but still move forward! Take a stroll in BHU and feel the zephyr brushing your hairs or kissing the nose and forehead. It will be more satisfying than increment in number of fans or testimonials in Orkut!!

Guys in Noida or Hyderabad….watch sun rising and filling you with immense amount of energy. Close your eyes to so that rays can strike on your eyelids and from thereon can ignite your souls. Close all the lights of your room and listen to the sound of silence.

And finally, all the people in Bangalore, look at the full moon shining and the aura surrounding it.It’s so real. Can you figure out the old lady weaving something? It is more satisfying than giving a scrapbook entry !!

I am going to watch the sunset from fifth floor of my office building. I can see the horizon which is now full with saffron color…it’s so real,so colorful. This again draws me towards life which has to in REAL world not in the fantastic world of Orkut.

I have given few examples, You can explore more on your own…just go and do it..
And even if you miss, mother nature will create it for you….tomorrow!!

I Wasn't There!

2006-04-09T11:33:00.000+05:30

I missed it! And no amount of consolation would make me feel any better (not that any of my friends were trying to do that either). Just as I entered my room after a round of Sunday evening shopping, the frenzied state in which my roommates were in coupled with the score line at the bottom of the TV screen told me the entire story. I had missed the greatest cricket match ever played. And for a cricket lover like me, this was a tragedy of the highest degree.

But as I tried to put the tragedy behind me and the truth actually dawned upon me, the cricket lover inside me came out of hiding again, this time in a more jubilant mood. Because this one cricket match seemed to signify so many things all at the same time. South Africa had won an absolute humdinger, one which you had to pinch yourself a hundred times over to believe. One which the Gods must have pinched themselves a thousand times over to believe. One day when you couldn’t help feeling that for once that ambrosia had found itself the wrong breakfast table, one that belonged to the Proteas. One day when a group of eleven ‘mortals’ (and I get the feeling I can be prosecuted for using that word) rose above themselves and reiterated in the strongest possible manner that ‘impossible’ is nothing more than just an entry in the English dictionary. And through all this, cricket had emerged the biggest winner. For those of you who still think that it’s just another mundane pastime on lazy weekends, I would say you would have to be pretty audacious to repeat that.

And in this euphoric state, another more beautiful truth dawned upon me. A truth which went much farther than just cricket itself. A team which had been the subject of some of the most horrendous racial abuse down under had retorted back in the most magnificent style possible and humbled the same opposition. I just couldn’t help holding myself in awe as I realized the amazing irony of it all. A black South African had played the nudge which had leveled the scores. The player who had been among the most vocal in protesting against the racial abuse that they had faced back in Australia had hit the winning runs of the very next ball. And all this had come true because of some exemplary teamwork from a team which, of late, has come to resemble South Africa itself because of the diversity it possesses. A team which itself was banned from playing the game for more than 20 years because of Apartheid policies in the country. A team which has weathered the roughest of storms and has finally risen like a Phoenix stronger than ever.

And through this process of rediscovering truths, a thought loomed at the back of my head. I just couldn’t help find an almost eerie, uncanny resemblance of this sequence of events to a movie I had watched the previous night. It was named ‘Crash’ and it portrayed the conditions of racial discrimination which prevail in Los Angeles even today. As I was walking out of the movie hall with my friends, I asked them about their opinions regarding the movie. One of them felt it didn’t mean a lot for people like us on the other side of the world and that it were the people in the U.S. of A who should really be worried. Which made me introspect in astonishment: can we really afford to be so callous as to brush away such hard truths under the carpet? Truths which hit us in the face almost every day and which we very conveniently choose to ignore with amazing regularity. The movie delineated the lives of colored denizens of L.A. who hail from all kinds of backgrounds. They included blacks, Hispanics and Asians, all of whom face discrimination which can reach shocking levels at times. Nevertheless, they are left weaker in their fight as they spend a lot of time fighting amongst themselves. Somewhere here I felt that we couldn’t just think of this as a localized problem. Doesn’t this spookily remind us of the manner in which we nations fight out amongst ourselves and within ourselves in the quest of some truth which probably evades the best of minds? How we long to achieve victories which more suit our fragile egos and which impede the very process of our evolution. And then I ask myself the question that has been lingering since then: whom do we blame? Do we keep looking for champions such as Martin Luther King Jr. to change the world or is it somewhere within us that the real champion lays. Because decades after the great revolutionary tried his best to change things, they don’t really look and feel different, do they? What does it take to really unite and come up with efforts similar to what the South African team produced?

And as I still wonder whether to look ahead to the future with hope or despair, something within me tells me that I was lucky that I wasn’t there in L.A. in situations the movie portrayed. But the cricket lover returns and makes me repeat: I wasn’t there at Wanderer’s on Sunday night!

Published for a cricket crazy special person ,with permissions from my dude Abhik who is the original author

Forgotten

2006-04-06T11:04:00.001+05:30

Note: 1) This story is not meant to criticize any particular caste or community

2) It is real life experience of the author and views expressed are owned by him only

It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I was, as usual, very focused on solving one of those lousy problems in mechanics from I.E.IRODOV. Let me Introduce myself...I am an IIT-JEE aspirant who will be given a last chance to appear for this most challenging entrance exam.

When I say last chance, it's not alone from JEE conducting authorities but from family also.

They have been awfully cruel especially my elder brother who is an ex-IIT'ian and keeps me under dreadful pressure to crack this exam. In a subtle way, this helps me a lot when I feel bogged down by the mock test results. Off late, I am performing better and my brother, who keeps a strict vigil on my efficacy, seems quite happy, whenever he finds time to talk with me.

I am approaching to nail the moving pulley problem but again.........I hear sobs from my dad's room. This is the sixth time within last four days and it exactly starts at this odd hour of the day. For the first time in my 17 years old life, I am watching my Dad weeping like this. He has been very strong and never-ever showed emotions in front of anyone.

Emotional breakdown was sole territory of my Mom and elder sister, but this time I am going through a completely different scenario. Ladies have been strong .....Amazing!!!!.

My Grandfather who is at least 83 in my knowledge has left the home without informing anybody. He is mentally challenged and suffering from old age Syndrome and now readers must have understood, why my dad was sobbing under the blanket. From the past four days, My Dad and uncles are involved in exhaustive search of the Old man,who as many say, has created a lot of problems in past for his family members. My Dad's business empire is at halt. During the daytime he is using the resources to find out The Old man and in night, he disturbs me by continuous sobbings.

Let me dig into the history of the Old man. We will call him Babuji and in the following lines, I will present some extracts from his life .

Babuji was fourth son of Lala Devakinandan who was a ZAMINDAR during British rule. Surprisingly, the eldest son was a freedom fighter and on the day of his wedding,he was in Jail because of actively participating in BHARAT CHODO ANDOLAN(Quit India Movement). Other sons of Lalaji were well-off,one an apprentice doctor, other an executive engineer and Babuji being a Lekhpal....basically a government clerk.

Babuji had 8 children, four Boys and four girls ...my dad was the eldest. Babuji never had been a family man i.e. he sparsely cared to ask his children about their needs or future aspirations. But mind you, he was only 8th grade pass out ,so does this not suggest his mediocre literacy a cause of this ,Readers? Dad was his favourite,as he has been obedient and softspoken. Dad was also a hardworking and good student in school. He did every damn thing which any ideal son like Shravan Kumar could do...but I don't care of all this idealism...I don't give a damn....Readers,what do you think?

I forgot to introduce one big-time
character..Ammaji,,She was a religious lady and her endurance
was example given to the ladies of our family till date. She was The One who could bear all the nuisances of Babuji and convince him to spent some money on other things,apart from eatables.She was one hell of a lady, to whom I could not see as she died way before I was born. But my elder brother was a her toy and he used to accompany her wherever she went. My elder brother still recalls those days when he used to make toys and Chapaatis out of soil, his favourite past time, with the help of Ammaji. Her composure was breathtaking and the love showered on every family member was divine.

As they say "God takes away those whom he likes most",She died at an early age of 54....We will come back to her in later part of blog.
Babuji spent a lot on eatables but ignored other important things. Three instances I would like to share:

Dad And Engineering

During those days, You don’t have to give goddamm JEE to get in IIT, All you have to do is to get 80% marks in 12th class and you are eligible for an entry into India's most famous T-School. My Dad stayed with his uncle in Varanasi city to complete his 12th class whereas younger brothers were still in Village studying in primary or middle classes. Since Babuji didn’t earn a great amount of salary, so it was quite logical to send my Dad to his Engineer brother's house.

There, dad performed all kinds of jobs which a servant would have done in lieu of 200 bucks, starting from stroll of their dog, vegetable market to cooking of food ...my poor dad this,just for the sake of studies. One good thing that came out from his stay was :he learnt how to cook,anything and everything......He studied after everybody slept and burnt midnight oil, just to get good marks in PMC.....finally, his perseverance paid and he got good enough marks to get into IIT's--The cherished dreams of Nehruji .

It required few grands for fee but my Grandfather didn't had a single penny to be spent on higher education. He thought it's wastage of time and my dad should start doing some business at this age of 17.I can't even dream of that at my age. Someone suggested him to take a lone from his elder brother but in fake high self-esteem, he refused. Dad's carreer was decided. He was told to step in as an apprentice for a well known builder.....and the rest is not required to write here. Like true Shravan Kumar, He did what Babuji told him to do, Ammaji was against it but she couldn't do anything. At this oddly hour in night, I am trying to imagine what my Dad has been today, if he were an IITian having 30 years of experience !!!!Readers?

Uncle in Pursuit of 25 paisa

Babuji had a lousy bicycle,using which he went to places. It was a mere structure of iron and my uncle's used to say that he got it from Harappan Excavation.But for a person as miser as Babuji,it was not less than may be Mercedes.

Some month in mid-session, uncle’s school decided to increase six-monthly fee by 25 paisa so my uncle demanded the same from Babuji but he refused;

"You are a liar!!", said Babuji

"No, they have increased the fee, you can enquire with any body"

"You will take 25 paisa and will buy Kanchas...I am Not a fool"

"But, I will be thrown out of School, if not given the fee today.."

"So Be It”

Babuji Picked his bicycle and flew away, my uncle started running along with him.. now it was a Tom and Jerrry race!!!

Every passerby was looking this scene with joy,a kid running for some goddamn money and his father is not even listening...finally after 5 Km of marathon, kid pulls off and fell down in sand.

Readers,My uncle's name was removed from school's register and after one month long tussle they pulled him in

Kanyadaan

This one is latest. As per Hindu culture, every father has to give the hand of her daughter to the bride and this custom is called "Kanayadaan". To perform this, father needs to keep a fast on the wedding day.

So for the Kanyadaan of his youngest daughter, Babuji had to keep fast ,,everyone knew that he couldn't do it but still my dad insisted him to do the rituals...Dad thought, who knows,,Babuji may do it(Although, for the earlier marriages, he couldn't do it...dad had to do the Kanyadaan for his sisters)as this was the last chance. But Babuji succumbed for rasgulla and gulabjamun(Sweets) and without thinking, he ate those. Dad was shocked to see that....afterall, it was HIS daughter who was getting married.........Thankfully, Babuji had a son like my dad....I would'nt have cared for this goddamn thing if I were in his place...what-so-ever others may think...Readers?

Enough of Babuji's background, now I will come to real scenes. My dad ,as always has Shravan god Damn Kumar,was monumental in taking the responsibilities so early and execuitng them as far as possible.Babuji came in picture only when he has to give Ashirvad to some lousy fellow. Since then, everybody in family and outside it was well familiar with Babuji so moslty.nobody cared for him,except my dad and Ammaji. After the death of Ammaji,
Babuji was alone and Dad staying away from him, with my elder brother, created a black hole in Babuji's life.

Basically, he started feeling dejected and alone. Mind you he stayed in the Village and said he will stay in there till death. My uncle's family was staying in Village so he got meals thrice a day and that wasn't enough for his greedy stomach. He now fell for everything which can be eaten and as the days progressed, he became more and more inclined towards food. If he found anybody eating anything, demanded...it was getting tough to control him.

As the days progressed, Babuji's friends started disappearing from earth and he was left alone within a couple of years. Rarely ,guys talked to him ,Nobody cared.....The affection which he used to get earlier from his wife and eldest son was absent. Dad was too busy with his business and family...he visited once a month but that was not enough for Babuji.....At this point he started LOOSING IT....Major contribution being loneliness, lack of care and love.
Every human being expects an attention from group and if he is not given that....certainly feels dejected and lost in twilight, how-so-ever be his behaviour towards other members of society. What do you feel Readers?

Now there was a drastic change in his behaviour....he started sleeping outside our Haveli in Village and hunger increased exponentially. Babuji had a lot of cash and used to keep it always with himself during those so called Sane days...sane days my foot!! He was never sane...never at all. Now a days,he don't even care for that huge amount of dough, which at one point of time were his life or even more than that .He started treating Five Hundred Rupee note as a piece of paper.....Good old Gandhiji would have never thought of that in his dreams, but that's what old age Syndrome does::It takes you far from the realm of reality.As my family Doctor suggested,this lethal Syndrome can be prevented by proper care and respect of elederly fellows.My Dad did everything within his capacity but in vain. This guy was out of control. He wanted to eat each and every thing ,if somehow he came to know about that.This made my poor Aunt very angry.... but she couldn't help it.

As the time progressed, Babuji started to forget kids like us.... it was difficult for him to recall me or my cousins and frankly, I didn't care. My elder brother was the only guy whom he can recognize and of-course my dad too. Others were not that fortunate ...but everyone did their duty towards him. Babuji started to run away from the Haveli and nobody knew why. Probably he was searching somebody...someone whom he missed most. But at the end of day, he used to return safely, inspite of his low memory. He always used to carry a bag along wherever he went so I made a list of his Children, their complete address and contact numbers....just to make sure that he returns safely back to home. This made my dad feel proud of me as he never expected this from me,, he always thought I never cared ...but sometimes I did.

On that fateful day, Babuji ate a lot of rice and left just like that. Aunt thought, he will return as he has done umpteen number of times. Only god damm issue this time was ...he forgot to take his bag which meant no money and above all, absence of list that I had prepared. As the fate had it..he didn't return that night.

Now it was difficult time for dad and uncles, they started extensive search from the place where he was last seen...... posters were published ,pamphlets were distributed and every possible village en route was enquired, even Police Inspector who is my uncle's best friend was personally involved. After three days, no clue was found and those were the days when I started hearing my dad's sob. Probably he was asking to himself "Why you left us ?What the hell I didn't do for you? I perfomed all the god damm duty which you had to do.....So why I was chosen my lord"

Dad did everything, stupid Pundits asked him to do Puja.. he did..they sent him to Haridwar based on lousy astronomical prediction which signaled Babuji is in Haridwar..he did. Same was the case with uncles. Poor guys were doing everything ...but of no fruition. Once an old dead body was found near railway station.. dad went ,thankfully he was not THE ONE.

Slowly, but surely, everybody started to forget Babuji.....Everybody except dad.Not even after wasting 18 lakhs within 20 business days or wasting a lot of effort and money in pooja and lousy Pundits who don't even know their future.

I am home after my mid semester exams at IIT, it's been four years to that incident...I still can hear sobbs...not that frequent but once in a fortnight. My dad still believes that Babuji is alive an keeps on asking questions from himself. He still wonders "For what he left us??In search of whom??"

My answer is ::He was a forgotten creature and lack of care made him to run away from himself and his family.........What do you think Readers?

Surely You Are Joking,Mr. Saurabh!

2006-04-04T19:41:00.000+05:30

I was about to kiss Ayesha Takia and suddenly Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipeeeeeeeeeepiiiiiiiiiii of my cell phone alarm started ringing.

hell...saale ko abhi hi bajna tha.Abhi bund kartaa hoon darling!!

It was 5:30 AM and according to any other weekday,I had set my alarm on 5:30.Actually I am doing this from past one year and the next step I take is to set the alarm for 6:30 ..then 7:30...then 8:00 and usually wake up when door bell is being rung by bai.

When i returned back on the bed hoping to complete the leftover with Ms Takia,I couldn't start ....
I was searching for HER in dreams but it was too late.Seems like she went in somebody's dream jo queue mein khadaa tha .And this queue was as long as any of the Sulabh Souchalya's queue in the morning!!!

At 8:00 AM,when my kannad bai comes,I am usually the one who opens the door after 35 rings on the door as my flatmates who are descendents of lord Kumbhakarna don't bother about these earthly matters!!

But today the matter was tricky.I had to pay her monthly fee and since she knows only kannad,it was like trying to bargain with a Chinese streetseller.I couldn't undestand a single word she said nor could she.

"kaiase samjhaaon isse ki 600 is enough",I thought

"Anna @#!@$@$%$@#"....Bai said

She was not accepting Rs 600 and was probably demanding more...but how much was the question.Finally i gave her my wallet.....hesitatingly..

Nikal ke bataa--pick from wallet whatever you want
She took out 1000!!!

Yeh toh badi chaalu hai saali..I thought

And then almost pleading.."Amma,Please..take 800" and showed her 800!!

She took happily and said "Thank you Saaar!!"

Oye teri toh,,yeh toh angrezi jaanti hai !!

A Week Day at office:

When you enter inside tha office,fabricated smiles start flowing everywhere and i hate these.
Why these guys pass fabricated smiles... Dabur Lal dant Manjan use karte honge!!

Hi Saurabh,how was your weekend?hehheehe
Great...."kya khaak great,sirf sota raha"

Hey Saurabh,what's up?where did you went this weekend?hehehee
Forum Mall..."Heck,being a single and going to Forum is worst insult,I went to Switzerland with Ayesha Takia..Happy"

But believe me,whenever i pass,it's a genuine smile.Everybody thinks I am faking !!

The worst comment came from boss on Valentine's day which is the biggest fest in B'lore

Are you not going early today,Saurabh?
Why not..."Kahaan jaoonga,apne flatmates ke pass ......Takia bhi date pe hogi aaj"

During noon,my groupmate comes and asks about something..
Saurabh,Can you tell me why this is happening?
I start with "See,doing a route print..."and problem gets solved
That toh I know
Now I am speechless.

My Tryst with Cooking:

My cooking guru is Rashmi.For those working with me,she sits facing me but in the next cubicle.For the outsiders,Rashmi is about 5'2" in height and fair in colour with slightly culrly and small in lentgh hairs.I can say that she has started putting few extra kiloes.She speaks rarely in office but whenever speaks poora fourth floor goonj jaata hai.A very mature and friendly girl all in all.Exuberance spills from her persona and if i will describe her more,she is gonna kill me.

She was trying to teach me how to prepare "Khichadi"(an Indian dish,made from rice and pulse).

"Kisme banaayega Khichadi?"
"hmmmm...bhagone mein"
"idiot,cooker use kar"
"ok Ma'm"
"4-5 siti maar dega tabhi hata dena"she ordered
"Siti toh woh khud hi maar dega naa",I asked innocently
"Nahi,tu maar dena!!!" and an outburst of laughter
"Saurabh,surely you must be kidding,tune aaj tak life mein kuch nahi banaaya hai?"
"Paani aur Doodh garam kiya hai"
"Surely you are joking,Mr Saurabh!!"

Now how i proove that till date have been such a dumb ass that never tried cooking at all.Cooking is one thing which i have tried sometimes back and failed miserably.

"haldi aur masala bhi dal dena"
"ek packet hai jisme masala likha hai,usse hi thoda daal doon?"
"Gadhe,u gotta put haldi in it"
"But haldi toh masale mein hoga naa"
"you are a hopeless case"

I knew that....you can't teach cooking to a moron like me who is alive on food provided by others.Finally I was able to prepare it.Suddenly,I jumped excatly like nude Archimedes coming out of bath tub...saying "Eureka Eureka"

You know what I had discovered.....Khichadi's color becomes yellow not due to Dal but because of turmeric powder put into it.......It was a moment of glory for me and I was feeling like Columbus who has just discovered America!!

An Evening in Bangalore:

I usually return from office at 8:00Pm only to find my friends waiting for me to watcha movie.
Let me first introduce them.We are 5 guys staying in the best possible apartment in B'lore for upper middle class.Sachan,Prakash,Pranav and Apoorv are like family members to me now.A family whose income is whopping Rs 200,000 per month!!

These guys know my biggest weakness...horror movies.I hate them as my biggest nightmares start to haunt back when I see a distorted face or a voice which is terrible!!My friends, by some means always try to show me a horror movie.

Saurabh,aaja movie dekhte hain
Kaun Si?
Adventures of Backaroo Bonjai in 8th dimension
Teri maa ki....by listening the name itself,I start vomiting and sweating!!

I run away from these guys when they start wacthing these kind of cult movies.They always look for Cult movies ,,to name a few of them "Monty Python and the Holy Grail ","EraserHead","Requiem for a Dream","The Rocky Horror Picture Show" ....If you have never heard of these movies,I suggest you better don't even try to know about them.

I feel isolated whenever my Cultie friends get engrossed in their movies.So I pick up my favourite DVD and watch "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam" or "Parinda" or "Taal"....recently I watched "Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam" for 52nd time while waiting for a special person to come online.Movie ended but she didn't came ,last heard,her system had a Viral fever.....I don't know the status now.Probably she will be online some day or never...who knows!!

It's time to go ...Ayesha Takia is calling

Thanks to all of you who read this crap till end and to those also who didn't!!

Moksha

2006-04-03T13:49:00.000+05:30

Akimota’s past 25 years started rolling in mind at very oddly hour----2:00AM inside economic class of AIR JAPAN. The destination of this flight was Santa-Barbara….

A California state town where he was going ……chasing his dream of studying in one of the best technical institutions in the world-----University of California.

He was one of 15 guys from Hokkaido Island who got the prestigious Charles scholarship to study Rock Mechanics from the best minds in same field.

Recollection of past has always increased his heart beats…but he can’t help himself out this time. All those tragic scenes that life has offered Akimota started to uncover them bit by bit. He recalled how his mother left this world when he was 3 and his father followed the same after 2 years leaving Akimota orphan. As they say….God loves good persons and they are given very short phase to stay on earth.

Life has been constant struggle since then for Akimota. His painter cum fisherman uncle has been the axis around which his life revolved till this the year he took admission in college.

I had been a good student since childhood…he recalled .He kept getting scholarships in every class and this kept him stimulated enough to pursue MS from university of California….the name he heard first from one his cousins who was alumni of the same university.

Apart from studies….his favorite pastime was painting, a trait he learnt from uncle. After finishing household chores and study he painted…painted ,while in pain….in trouble painted on everything starting from canvas to paper to clay…….to stone.

Carving a figure on stone gives THE ultimate feeling. He painted symbols of animals and pets on the stone. According to Akimota— painting becomes interminable once it is carved on stone….A superb reason for his penchant for stone painting. Sometimes young Akimota enquired to his uncle can’t I become a stone-painter uncle.

Why?

This world is cruel enough son…..you can’t earn anything by pursuing your hobby

Is earning that much essential?

Now uncle was speechless.

Akimota got admission in University of Kitami for a bachelor’s course in Mining Engineering….

What an overlap…No doubt his favorite subject throughout this course had been Rock mechanics……a subject that was close to Stones. He was involved in some of the path breaking research in Rock Mechanics. At the age of 23…..he had already 8 international papers published in reputed international journals. He chased his dreams…..chased ‘em hard and finally cracked GRE with a score of 1590(out of 1600).during the preparation period he was hardly seen with anybody….encapsulated himself inside the hostel room of 20’ by 20’ ….practiced the previous years papers….in short……..he came,he saw and he conqured. But every success demands something….this time demand was twosome:

1)He lost touch with his favorite pastime stone painting

2)his social life was badly affected…..contact with uncle was lost…friends were all gone….communication gap was prevalent throughout his friend circle from his part.

He tried hard to tweak the situation but it went in-vain because of lack of time…
Akimota decided in favor of dreams and left his one man family and childhood friends behind……..

Large prize I have paid to get a seat in this flight…but I will never leave my favorite past time….Stones…Painting on them is eternal haaaaaa

Day 1 in the college was quite dull for Akimota. Every new entrant to University was being introduced to their respective faculty members The most exciting part was when he was introduced to two professors of Rock Mechanics who were…Noble Laureates.

In the evening, a party was thrown from the Hobby centre…everyone was invited. Till now Akimota came to know that he can enjoy stone carving in the Hobby centre…but because of his shyness he couldn’t intermingle with American fellows.

I am short and ugly…my eyes are small and nose has been crushed by the almighty..

Look at them…..tall, handsome and so fluent in communication….what charm they bring…..and me…The dullest fellow in party…..

The depression of being a Japanese struck him when he saw blond students who were enjoying the awesome party.

Partly, Akimota seems to be correct about his appearance. He is 5’1” with eyes penetrated well inside his small Japanese face. Not only his nose is compressed but his legs also follow the same trait.

Due to poor English speaking capability Akimota found himself completely unbefitting for talking with any American blonde….suddenly his eyes lit up when a lady introduced herself..

Hi, I am Nancy

Hello,Akimota here

Which faculty?

Rock Mechanics….and u?

Computer Architecture. Are u not enjoying the party?

No no ..I am ….

Aki…..Akim….

Akimota

Sorry..I wil pronounce it correctly next time onwards….what is your hobby?

Stone painting

Wow…I share the same. will u please help me in learning this amazing art?

Why no.. not but for now I must leave to prepare for the classes

See ya

Actually Akimota was feeling the heat!!!! So he had to leave..

Nancy is real blond 5’6’’,white skin,slim, curly and reddish hair, unique glow on the face, intelligent.. everything which I have always dreamt of in MY DREAM GIRL..

From that day onwards, Akimota was attracted towards Nancy but she hadn’t had slightest of ideas. As the days passed his silent, one sided love towards Nancy increased exponentially .They became good friends and started sharing intimate things between them. Nancy learnt to carve paintings on stone and both of them made several good paintings for the Hobby centre. Nancy is not even interested on talking about ……

One fateful day blitzkrieg struck Akimota when Nancy told her about Peter Patterson.

She was in love with Peter…in intense love. Peter was her batch mate….tall, young American with dreams in starry eyes…dreams to win the world in a stride, a passionate fellow.

He cares me a lot, always keeps an eye on me

“so do I, But I am not that strong enough” Aki thought

He will always keep me happy

“I will also……… my sweet heart”

we have decided to marry after completion of MS

On that night, Aki wept and wept a lot after a long time.

No ambitions, no friends, no family, nobody to complain.. My dear God why I am that much unfortunate?…why u have chosen me? He complained from God.........

After becoming a gold medalist in Rock Mechanics ,Aki got a well paying job. Nancy and Peter also got good jobs and got married after one year. Although Aki never liked to maintain the contact with Nancy Patterson but she insisted him. So were both still in contact through phone.

After ten years of span in corporate world, Aki decided to give full time to Hinduism and his hobby…the stone painting. He was attracted towards this astonishing religion through Hare Krishna Mission. He loved the philosophical teachings of Ramkrishna and his greatest disciple Viveknanda. They gave him the mental peace …..which was attainable only while painting. Aki had enough money to spent his rest of the life in India and he chose Varanasi—the centre of universe for hindus all over the world and best known place for spirituality.

Meanwhile, the contact from Nancy was broken five years ago.Last time they talked.. Nancy was a bit tensed. But neither Aki enquired nor she told the reason. Aki gave Mrs. Patterson blessings for happy married life and told never to ring him again.

This decision had been THE TOUGHEST for Aki……but he had to do that.

Akimota decided to live on Assi Ghat.. a place alongside the river Ganges.. worshipped as Goddess in India. Starting from morning he followed a tough routine.. all kinds of spiritual practice including meditation ,Yoga ,Pooja of lord Krishna etc were performed by him with utter precision of time. In the evening he carved paintings on the stones and made them eternal. The life was going in this way ……..suddenly Akimota received a phone call from United States of America. It was Nancy’s mother on the other side.

Nancy has committed suicide My son…

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???When?and Why??

Last night.it’s a long story

Tell me.. tell me aunt whatever be it’s length

Even after nine years of marriage when no child was born Mr. Pattereson started taunting Nancy. Arguments were being passed on a daily basis and this started affecting the professional life of both. Peter completely disagreed with the idea of having an adopted child, test tube baby or surrogate baby .One day,due to poor performance in Microsoft office, he was fired from the job.Due to the frustration,he started beating Nancy badly…used everything…belts,shoes,hangers,ropes…anything……

Once the Dracula tests the blood, he likes to have it again and again. The monster in Patterson came out strongly and made the life of poor Nancy hell… she could not endure the pain given by his beloved and ….in suicide note she wrote only about Akimota and Akimota was shocked to know what she wrote ….

I always liked u Aki. .ur short Japanese figure....ur language.. ur plain heart…above all …The stone painting. But u never came forward. ..I thought u never took me THAT way. hope to see u in the next world. I have no complains for anybody.. it’s my fate that I am dying this way.

Shocked and in a state of trance Akimota decided to do one thing…rather one big thing for the Moksha of Nancy…………He started carving her symbolic picture on a marble stone and already knew that it had to be his best creation.. After thirteen days of hard work, he imbibed life in stone. In the morning, he brought loads of garlands and carved the name NANCY PATTERSON in the middle of stone making her name perpetual….and….let the stone submerged in the immense lap of Goddess Ganga………………supplemented by two drops of tears from the deeply penetrated Japanese eyes………Thereby giving Moksha to her beloved…The BLOND NANCY