Saturday, October 14, 2006

Only If I Could.....

The Door through which the stream of dreams flow
Was knocked ....

Stunned was I...
Two starry eyes pleaded

"Create a picture of mine
but I don’t have a dime"


Her wavering pitch black hair
Made the arrogant air
......sublimed

Oh...the forehead was shining
Like the scorching sun whining

The eyebrows were dark and deep
The moon was half asleep

I started getting drowned
in the eyes black-brown

Those moving lips
almost brought an eclipse

The Vibrant shiny earring
Created a whirlwind

To hear her chuckle
The laziest atom of mine...struggles

Midway through the painting
She desired to leave

I will come again
to feel my beauty...she said
only if I could.......
...........................


I never saw that spasmodic creation of mine
Alas.....only if I could



Written for incomplete but a perfect picture


Thanks to Radhikaji for making grammatical corrections

6 comments:

Saurabh said...

I have tried lot of Symbols in my new attempt.For Example in following lines..

Eyebrows were dark and deep
the moon was half in sleep



Here,Curved eyebrows have been compared with the dark part of moon...half sleep of moon signifies the dark portion while the shiny part is Moon which is Awake!!


Feel free to write comment to understand other analogies,if you find them difficult.

Love,
Saurabh

Anonymous said...

Very nice poem Saurabh...each line is full of beauty :-) keep up the good writing we r waiting.

Anonymous said...

You did not see the creation of yours but at least you saw the beauty in person. :-)

Great poem.
Abhi

Anonymous said...

excellent use of analogies and similies..is vivid and easily comprehendable...keep experimenting..am sure...even better is in the offing....cheers..!

Anonymous said...

beauty...
-Anonymous

Anonymous said...

damn gooood