Bangalore-Was that the hard Way?

While collecting the boarding pass at domestic airport,New Delhi, the first and last things in my mind were air hostesses of Jet airways….it was my first ever flight and I along with Prakash was join Symbol Technologies,Bangalore...on June the 2nd 2005.

We both were new to this city and totally incognizant of surprises Bangalore was going to throw in coming days...We were excited and ready to learn life the hard way…with no parents to look you after..….no place which you can call home..…no hostel...…no mess hall…..no cell phones!!!....nobody close whom you knew except few seniors which we decided that we are NOT going to call them unless under paramount situation.

I had two bags with one full of books…...all kinds of books, the only treasure which I brought from Varanasi.It almost covered 20 Kgs …it was a strenuous job from me even to carry the bag on that broiling day in Delhi.. and smaller one had few Jeans and Shirts brought from Monastery(Every Delhi University student knows what a Monastery is!!) and some older ones.I love my clothes.I really do. So ई don’t try to replace them as frequently as anybody else would do and this meant that I won’t be buying any clothes in Bangalore for next three months…and Monastery clothes are the one’s which I am wearing till today.

So with these two assets of mine,I landed on the airport of Bangalore at around 2AM only to bump into gust of cool wind…..it was a tremendous change ....…two and half hours ago,we were facing the heat …..Welcome to Bangalore

More surprises were yet to come out of Pandora’s box…We had been provided accommodation in Admirality Square…it was a ritzy apartment but only worry we had was who will be there to recognize us…..after formalities at security,we had been told to go straight to flat no 208…..and then…..

Ding dong…ding dong……..I lost count how many times we rung it
Coming baba……....It was a lady

I thought she would be the owner of our flat who had the keys….and then after the door opened…it was a female of our age

Welcome to Bangalore…you guys are coming from Bombay??
No..from Delhi…can you give me the keys of our flat
What flat???this is your flat…commo’n in..
And haan, that is your room..this is ours

We didn’t show any emotions in front of her but… I can tell ya…it was a shocker for guys coming from small towns when we came to know that we will be staying with four females in the same flat for the next fifteen days!! Moreover, we had to share the resources …..

After a day or two, we became very comfortable with them and had good times after coming back from office. The girls working for ICICI call center were full of life and talked almost about every thing. But frankly, I used to fear from Cherry most…she was the one who always used to take the breath out of me by pretending to be scary …..horror movies …distorted faces were my biggest weakness and she realized it soon when I ran away from the TV screen when horror movie was broadcasted!!

One day my uncle called, I was in office…and Cherry picked the phone… Later when uncle again called…

Who was the girl who picked the phone?
Oh!!..woh caretaker thi….(She was caretaker)kaam karke chali jaati hai
But angrezi achcha bol rahee thi aur well mannered bhi thee
Bangalore mein aisa hi hota hai!!

That was a close save…..when I told this to Cherry,we laughed on that day like anything…

Amidst our laughter and discussions, soon we realized that our tenure at Admirality square is over and since we slept consistently on weekends, it was real trouble to find a new house. Hurriedly, we took one 2 BHK in BTM layout…without thinking much and from heaven of Admirality square….it was like “Welcome to hell".
Madhu joined us to stay in this hell along with Pranav.So now we 4 were staying together.

This house was closed…closed for sunlight…for air ….it was surrounded by a flour mill, a wood godown and a shop from three side…. Only one filthy rest room to share with.

Unfortunately, the room I and Madhu shared was worst striken.You could listen to Dhakh Dhakh of flour mill anytime…chats of worker of shop after 11PM and smoke of their bidi coming from the small common passage…sound of customers….the smell of filth coming from common toilet…..even during the day time, you had to study in light as no sunlight could reach there and only air we breathed out was the recycled one of our own.. …..as there was no place for ventilation…it was a nazi concentration camp for me. The situation became worst when Pranav started smoking.

I am one of those guys for whom it’s a must to switch off the lights in order to sleep. Even a single speck of light on my eyes disturbs. Moreover, I am very sensitive for sounds too…even if I could hear slightest of sound coming from 500 meters away, I can never sleep ..During nights when everybody slept, I tried hard but in vain. Many times I shrieked on the workers of shop who used to chat after 12…and my roommates thought I was talking in my dreams…..I felt like running out of the house….and was desperate to make a change.

On the other hand, Madhu was having problems from cigarette smokes and trauma of being a test engineer and staying within a pool of self proclaimed genius . You could easily tell…..He was frustrated and annoyed from his job and roommates who always took a shot on him. I always use to suggest him either ignore them or try for a new job…with his college friend Lucky joining him,he chose the first option….. And ultimately in few days….he left me alone. I was learning Bangalore…the hard way.

Only silver lining amidst all these bizarre circumstances was my FM radio bought from Marthahalli grey market in lieu of rupees 150 .We didn’t had TV by then and radio city 91 FM was only medium of entertainment and that too when few guys were not around as it was disturbing for them to listen Hindi songs! Even these days, I listen to it after 12 PM….

Fed up from living in the hell for three long months, one fine day all of us woke up and decided to make a change and soon we landed up in an apartment which offered everything…sunlight, air, larger rest rooms and three balconies where I can get wet in the rain or can read and write as well. Missing is one vital component…Madhu..but life is like that….full of compromises

After one year stay in Bangalore,I don’t feel it was tough to get my feet in…what I got in one year…ok….here I go:
now I have a place which I call my home…few good friends(If I mention more they will feel bad)… FM radio….a room of my own.. a computer to write.......internet connectivity…....lots of rain and freedom to get wet sometimes..express sometimes when people permit me to write on them!

Was that difficult readers?

Finding My Voice

This article by Collier is close to my heart....I am not the orignal author but at least somebody is there who thinks in cohesion with me...striking similarity with my thought process...so sharing it....take a shot..it is worth reading


I always had trouble talking to girls—until I met the one that really heard me.

May 18, 2006 -

As soon as I said the words to the beautiful woman I was falling in love with, I knew I had blown my chance. “I think that maybe I might like you.”

Good grief. I’ve never been much of a smooth talker, but come on. “Think?” “Maybe?” “Might?” Talk about hedging your bets. What was wrong with me? I should have told her how I really felt: that I thought she was beautiful and smart and funny and unlike anyone I’d ever met.

I’d been readying myself for this moment for weeks, ever since a friend at church introduced me to the pretty new blonde all the guys were talking about. For the last hour, as we walked along the river that ran past her apartment building, I’d been gathering my nerve, mulling over what I would say—and the best I could come up with was, “I think that maybe I might like you.”

Ugh.

Growing up, I had never enjoyed speaking. And not just in the public sense—I hated speaking in general, because I was terrible at it. I spoke too quickly. Words burst out of my mouth and scurried all over each other like mice fleeing a burning house. I had to repeat myself over and over and over. Slow down, people would tell me, breathe. I also had problems with enunciation. Words ending in “p” or “t” sounded anything but crisp when they came out of my mouth. How could I finish a word when another one was already barreling through my larynx?

These, of course, were mere mechanical issues. The real problem was that I had difficulty thinking of things to talk about. Not with my friends, that was easy. We’d talk about girls, or TV, or girls we’d seen on TV. But talking to girls, well, that wasn’t so easy.

When I was 15, the friend of a friend of a cutegirl from a nearby town stopped me in the hallway at school. She told me that her friend’s friend (the cute girl) liked me. I rang her up that night and we talked for a half hour. I thought we had a wonderful chat.

The following Friday, I hitched a ride to the cute girl’s town. When I entered the arcade where the local kids hung out, I saw her, and the look on her face said it all: she didn’t like me anymore. She said it would be best if we were just friends. We never spoke to each other again.

I spent the rest of the night sitting on the ground behind the hardware store, alone in the rain, feeling sorry for myself. The rain was cold and soaked through my jacket, but it seemed appropriate. I thought I was the biggest loser who ever lived. What had I said that was so bad?

Eventually, word got around that she thought I was boring. I’d talked a bit too much about my new running shoes. I didn’t recall talking about sneakers, but it was possible, I guess. I had been nervous; in truth, I didn’t recall much of what I’d said.

Things got better when I went to college. I still wasn’t the most confident guy around, but I was comfortable with who I was, or, at least, with who I was becoming. So what if I couldn’t dazzle girls with pretty talk? I was a nice guy. They would see that.

But my bumbling mouth continued to cloud their vision. One time, I was having coffee with a girl that I liked and the conversation turned to high-school activities. “I used to run track,” she said.

“You must have been in good shape back then,” I replied. I wasn’t implying that she wasn’t still in good shape, but that’s how she took it. She grabbed her coffee and left.

My roommate didn’t share my handicap. When he talked to a girl, his voice turned to syrup and he’d coo in her ear and tell her that he’d never felt “this way” about anyone before. If that didn’t work, he would share heartbreaking tales of his troubled childhood, even managing to squeeze out a tear or two. It was all show, of course, but a good one.

I didn’t want to be like him. The voice I spoke to my mother with was good enough for everyone else. I wasn’t going to make up stories to get attention. Besides, I knew that someone, someday, would give me a chance to make a second or even third impression. And, who knows, maybe she would see that a good heart is more important than good diction.

Years later, walking with the pretty blonde on the river by her apartment building on an unusually warm October evening, I had hoped she would be that someone. But with a typical display of verbal buffoonery, I’d erased that hope. Or so I thought.

She stopped walking and looked up at me. She laughed. It turned out, in spite of my less-than-impressive linguistic skills, she kinda sorta liked me, too. And two years later, she married me.

“I think that maybe I might like you.”

You know, now that I think of it, that’s not so bad. It’s cute, in an awkward sort of way. Maybe I’ll give Hallmark a call.

Collier lives in Ottawa, Canada.
© 2006 Newsweek, Inc.

Ankahee--THE UNTOLD

At last…..YES…I watched a movie after two long months in a multiplex.Since my flat mates don’t watch bollywood movies as in their own words, it destroys their sanity,I had to sponsor one of my friends for the sake of company. I decided to watch “Ankahee”which ultimately turned out to be a good one(For me,sad part was Aisha Takia’s absence),though quite a few people who went there to watch a fleshy show by Eisha or Indian basic instinct were disappointed and had to return back after intermission!!

Since I like watching movies on relationships and this movie has been woven around complex relationships, I was just lost in the movie till the very end. One more USP was that is a newer version of 1980’s classic movie Arth…...true story of Mahesh Bhatt’s life.

Ankahee ---A tale close to ace director Vikram Bhatt's heart is Aftab,Amisha and Eisha Deol starrer.This movie is inspired from extramarital affairs of the director Vikram Bhatt (portrayed by Aftab)and miss universe 1994 Sushmita Sen(played by Eisha Deol).You can call it an art movie of the current era so go and watch this ONLY if you like to watch those sort of movies.Here I present how I perceived Ankahee from my eyes and brain...…

Movie starts with Vikram Bhatt dedicating it to his daughter Krishna and a beautiful song. Dr.Shekhar(Aftab) is having a lovely wife Nandita(Amesha) who was having a career before marriage but leaves everything just to become a caring housewife..

You are a professional interior designer,why don’t you start it again with your previous employer…...says Shekhar

In reply,Nandita says

I just want to design my own house…after getting married,I am on a vacation of a lifetime.....

Shekhar enjoys small things in life and is very happy with her daughter Sheena and wife Nandita .....until ...….Miss World(Miss universe in real life)Kavya (Eisha Deol) arrives in his life. She tried suicide by cutting her veins…...not happy with life....is suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder…alone and very sad and enters into movie with a striking piece….

Doctor, I am neither in hurry to live nor to die.. take your own time!

Dr. Shekhar gives her medical as well as emotional attention too and Kavya starts taking things too seriously. Her persona and pain attracts Shekhar who in spite of having a sweet wife falls for it. And this shows how weak and vulnerable as a person was our Dr.Shekhar…

Once she becomes fit, everybody in hospital takes her autograph but she takes autograph from Dr. Shekhar....

Look, your wound has heeled says Shekhar
Doc....wound has not heeled,it is now invisible for outside world..replies Kavya painfully

Trapped in Her brutal love, Shekhar starts deviating from reponsibilites…..but sometimes he does care for his daughter Sheena. It’s an irony that his wife Nandita who is completely dedicated...….physically and emotionally towards him fails in her each bizarre attempt to save her man…...being a weak and confused man, Shekhar gets completely entangled…...and frustratingly…...some day he yells on his wife..

Why you are always nice to me?Why my happiness,my choice is a priority..don’t you have your own life..what good I have done to you?
Because..You are my husband…says Nandita innocently

Movie moves ahead with slow pace and ultimately,Shekhar leaves his family to stay with Kavya….even after warning given by his friend that Kavya can never be satisfied. ..

Peak of movie,according to me comes when Shekhar talks to Nandita on phone about divorce and she just runs amongst heavy rain to her previous employer at night

Do you still have the vacancy?
Yes…but how come you here at this time!!
Thank God…now my daughter is safe

This pure love can only come from a mom……

After the divorce,Shekhar fails to generate confidence in miss world that he has forgot about his family and inevitable happens…..at last….depressive Kavya suicides saying

This life has been a failure….I will have to try again

Here I will end my commentary.Don’t watch this movie if you are looking for a fast pace rib-tickling movie.Comic scenes are almost absent…Starts lightly but ends on a very serious note…could have been little shorter…

Watch this movie for a stunning performance by Eisha Deol…for the complicated human relationships…for three beautiful songs…for few superb dialogues…for a newer version of classic Arth ....for Vikram Bhatt and Sushmita Sen’s almost true story….and of course...to know what kind of movies I preffer!!
A 3.5/5 according to me though times of India has given 2.5…

We will meet again…….someday

Dear Raju,

Surprised to see this mail…..as always, I am full of sparkling surprises and who knows it better than you. Today, the trigger was a song sent by The Friend. I was in office working on a screwed up code and this song dawned upon me

लग जा गले .के……… फिर ये हसीन रात हो ना हो
शायद फिर इस जनम में …मुलाकात हो ना हो...

I still remember circa 15December ,2001,the night we spent together and for me it is unforgettable …still as fresh as a daisy in my mind.

Let’s not keep readers in suspense…

That day was your last with me and thereafter, though our friendship sustained, we both took altogether different approaches towards life and our careers.

The keys of your flat were with that crazy professor who was your neighbour and he was sleeping like anything at 8:00PM….probably he was a drug addict !!He did not open the door even after 50 door bells and 35 thuds on the door. Now it was a tough task for us to get into his house and take out the keys…..

In my background, I can hear

हम को मिली है आज ये घडियाँ नसीब से
जीं भर के देख लीजिये हमको करीब से

So …..what we did…simple…took a long stick and from the small hole, we started pricking his ear…and he woke up …we had the keys now!!

what next we did….since nobody was at your place, we were free to watch our favorite channel “FTV” but soon it became boring…..it was 10:00PM

We agreed…at last to go Harishchandra ghat…..it’s a place where corpse are burnt
…YES….....at the oddly hour during night
Why?
To have a discussion on our favourite topic those days……The thin red line between life and death


फिर आप के नसीब में …ये बात हो ना हो
शायद फिर इस जनम में मुलाकात हो ना हो

We reached at the ghat and tried to explain our philosophies to each other….for the last time. You were discussing power of prayer with an atheist and it was bound to come at grind lock!! We never reached at any conclusion but I loved to have discussion with you though we quarreled at every argument……

पास आईए कि हम नही आएंगे बार बार
बाहें गले में डाल के हम रो ले जार जार

Then for the first time in our lives, we watched a hermit with marijuana in one hand looking for bones into burnt ashes of pyre and our topic changed …..We talked till 4AM on a chilly winter night, recalling many incidents where we were the culprits together


It was our so called “first salary” when we went to Chota Mirzapur (A place near Varanasi) against will of many well wishers, to sell those cheap drugs to doctors practicing in villages and managed to make some 100 bucks each.
Now you may laugh …what was first salary(in job)…..1000 times higher than your ACTUAL first salary…always remember your roots buddy!!

It was my so called “birthday” and your parents gave permission to chill out and we went straight to a party where only non-vegetarian food was served and as always none of us was invited. After enjoying the chicken feast..(mind you…you are a Brahmin) we both were beaten badly once our lie was caught. Afterall,they are our parents......

It was my so called “exam” when I came to study at your home with permission from home….but our intentions were evil....we locked ourselves in TV room and started TV to watch our favorite channel(called Fashion TV ) .Soon we were busted when your father came to know that what we were doing inside….... from the glow of TV screen.....though he didn't say anything ,I am sure he knew what we were watching from my intution....the expressions said it all....we both made a promise to our parents for not telling lie under any circumstance...and I am sure you must have kept that promise as I have done....

आँखों से फिर ये प्यार की बरसात हो ना हो
शायद फिर इस जनम में मुलाकात हो ना हो

Even after revolution in communication, we hardly talk to each other or drop mail!!

I can understand that as now you have become responsible….life of 40 persons working under you depends on you.......and now, you have somebody special who deserves lot of attention and care......Although we are on entirely different paths provided by destiny,I am sure our paths will meet...........someday......somewhere

The Friend who sent this beautiful song is suffering from typhoid.....Being a great supporter of prayer, can you show me the power of your prayer.....the song deserves credit for this mail and the person who sent deserves wishes well above “get well soon” which is too artificial.....Can your prayers bring my Friend back to normal (apart from pills given by doc)....If answer is yes in your opinion, then please do and I urge all readers to do the same if they believe in prayers!

लग जा गले से...के फिर ये हसीन रात हो ना हो ना
शायद फिर इस जनम में मुलाकात हो ना हो

लग जा गले से…से……से

The song has ended and I am replaying it…..

Love,
Raju Shashtry

....For everything else there is Mastercard

"Sometimes you got to trust your instincts" says LinBaba and I exactly did that when Shrek asked me to join their gang for Pondicherry trip. At that time I was well acquainted with Joshira and Shrek and rest six were aliens for me. But somehow even after Abhinav retreated, I had a gut feeling that this is going to be one helluva trip...and I was absolutely right.

Later in the evening, when the caravan arrived in front of apartment to pick me,I was greeted with a big HELLO and my reply was as meek as it could have been. Thereafter, Kiddo bowled a bouncer

"Saurabh will sing a song"
"Where the heck I have stuck” I thought
"Me and song...no no, it’s not possible"

and then the gang started yelling and I succumbed....succumbed in front of a terrible bunch of guys and girls who enjoyed their friendship and backed each other with all the force available. It had to be HDDCS song (my all time favourite movie) and YES,I sang like a dog moaning during night...everybody clapped and encouraged...different from earlier instances of me singing and everybody laughing!!

Luckily, I got sweet Bors(As I call him)as my hotel room mate and as soon as we entered in room, just to reduce the fatigue...burst of laughter from both of us on a non-veg joke...I could sense that FUN has started to unfold...

Later all nine of us went to a beach. For the first time goers, it was something...again a yell from Joshira could tell her excitement. I wonder from where she gets all the energy to yell or to sing nonstop or even chat.

"What is the secret of your energy Joshira?" Somebody asked
"Strepsils khao,khud jaan jaao" My answer

Beach was beautiful but more impressive was the energy these folks from B'lore brought to the ambience. Chana, Me, Kiddo and UT were buried deep inside the sand and Sweet Bors was searching for French women who were taking sun bath...I could observe that of all, Chana was enjoying most while me and Jakkula were with Joshira as she kept on struggling with the mighty force of water and tumbled once in every 3 minute.Everybody drank at least 2 liters of saline water but were still adamant to come out of it.

In the evening, gang was roaming around the beautiful seashore of Pondi. Meanwhile Me,Chana and Bors found solace...the soothing effect of water coming and colliding with rocks made us silent for half an hour and we were in trance unless Shrek, the leader called us.....I was with my inner peace after a long long time.

Forgot to mention Jakkula...for him I sang a song from "Nadiya ke Paar" earnestly and he demanded more. I felt guilty for not knowing my native language....Sorry Jakkula, next time I will learn some Bhojpuri songs from my Mom and will definitely deliver.

Sunrise was an experience of a lifetime for a nature lover like me...I was lost somewhere and probably the same was going through the mind of Joshira,Chana and Shrek who chose to leave bed early for the Sunrise. Sun came out slowly from the horizon like a newly born baby coming out of womb of mother. It was a feeling that can't be explained.....you have to live that moment in order to understand.

I have been to few beaches in past but the beach we went on Sunday morning was best of the lot with a narrow passage connecting it to backwaters...ideal for swimming. Each one of us was perplexed to watch the clean water. Initially, I hesitated to take bath....but alas...could not control and jumped in with my CAP on! Sea waves were strong as a demon and none of us knew swimming completely (Sorry UT!!), still everybody was bold enough to fight.....The stakes were higher but FUN was unlimited. And the Gang chose to have fun. Holding each others hand, care for every member and enjoying each passing moment ...probably Godfather would have been envy with this bunch!!

If Sunday morning was that beautiful, evening was amazing. Based on French architecture ,church was truly a piece of art. Everybody except me prayed and I listened the sound of silence...Dinner at Promenade (a sea side French hotel) was delightful...I tried hard to have a photo with the dazzling lady in my favorite black saree but only managed to ask

"Excuse me Ma'm, where I can find spoons?" nervously

"Sir, they are on your table!!"

"Bulllll shiiiiiiiit"I thought

And thereafter, me and Joshira went again on sea shore, both of us share same interest so it was very easy to communicate with her. Amazing is her analysis capabilities and level of intelligence in every domain. We chatted for 1 hour on every aspect of life. She has given me a new perspective to look at life.

"Why you are wasting your life on somebody who is not worth of it...?"
I was Speechless once again

Next day was travel...travel and lots of travel.Auroville, Mahabalipuram and Chennai.....all were fine but Pondicherry trip gave me six new friends

1)Bors---Little wonder, amazing talent
2) Kiddo--A kid by heart...very poor in deciphering jokes(Talab's interpretation was pathetic :-)
3)UT----The Cool dude, Mature and enjoys each moment
4)Chana---Mature and very sweet, always ready to help.
5)Jakkula--Fun loving....Bhojpuri loving too!!
6)Smriti--unique laughter... suitable to replace Siddhu in Great Indian laughter challenge...

Before this trip, I had a prejudiced notion that since i have a credit card,every possible fun can be bought from it.

"You can go for bungee jumping or trekking or moonlight cycling or water sports....for just 1000 bucks” I used to get these messages everyday

NO...a big No.This trip was wonderful because of The Gang...the Joshira’s, the Jakkula's or UT's....not because of amount of money we spent or the exotic places we went but because of adventures of Bors.....laughter of Smriti.....Amazing Shrek

I can hear only one thing in my mind
"There is something that money can't buy...for everything else, there is Mastercard"

Long live the gang... long live our friendship...
Looking forward for the next trip