Rat ki sookhi khamoshi jab bahein pasare chale aayi
sath din bhar ki kayi yadein bhi le aayi
Aur... laayi hain unke sath kai chehre
chehre
Jindagi se jujhte
juthi muskurahaton se bhare
anjan manjilon ko dhundhte
Aur... raston main tanha bhatakte
vahi kuch aur
atmavishwas se bhare
nayi manjilein dhoondhte
safaltaon ki sidiyan chadte
Aur...kabhi na ghabrate
kuch aur bhi
har pal zindagi ko jite hue
har ek pal ko poojte hue
Bin kuch khwab aur aashayein
Aur...lakshyaheen jivan ko aage le jate
In chehron mein
apna mukhauta nakami ke saath talashta hun
kyonki har din mere jine ke dhang badal jate hain
mere andaj aur mere rang badal jate hain
aaj main ek chehra hun aur kal koi doosra
jaise shatranj ki bisat pe bicha hua ek mohra
About Me
- Saurabh
- * * * * * * * * * * * * मेरे सिरहाने जलाओ सपने. . . मुझे ज़रा सी तो नींद आए! [ Burn the incense stick of dreams closer to me. . .so that i get a little sleep,from the fragrance. . ] ~~Gulzar (In Maya Memsaab) * * * * * * * * * * * *
10 comments:
concept is good.... but there is scope for improvement in language... :-)
nice thought and a good finishing.
bahut fundoo sound kar raha hai.. problem is my understanding of poems is a little less when i read it... so when i m back u cud read it to me and then I would tell u how much i understand!! :-)
Saurabh,
Frankly speaking, this sounds good enough to be sung. Seriously! Dreamy yet realistic, I like the faint melancholy of the poem.
I couldn't get why you have compared the chehre with
jaise shatranj ki bisat pe bicha hua ek mohra
Madhusudan
Madhu dear,
Satranj ki bisaat pe biche hue kai mohre(Like us) just change their faces (say pawn becomes knight once he reaches @other end)once they reach to other end.....here i am tring to compare from that analogy :-)
Love,
Saurabh
your anology was too complicated
So what i get is that people change when they achieve something
right
Madhusudan
Dear Madhu,
It's always not the case...YES people do change when they get something,sometimes but here I am trying to convey the gist of Aims,moods and ambience on the behaviour and personality of the SAME person.I hope this clears your doubts.
Love,
Saurabh
good effort with appreciable outcome in hindi poem writing...
conveying complicated thoughts and meaningful emotions..through sort of conversation....any one is genuine if takes some time to comprehend...
gud one .....personification of the feelings is very nice . ek aisi tasveer jo har insaan dekhta hai aur apne apne tareeke se interpret karta hai,nice !!!!
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