Gone......Forever

Holding it tight,
in my fists
I captured light


Light......
The language of God
The cause behind big-bang
The Illumination for mankind
The difference between living and nonliving


I started running
With handful of light
With fake happiness
With hallucination...
With fictious expectation
That light is mine....forever


As the darkness approached
Light wanted to leave
I resisted,tried hard
But darkness,
none less than Goliath
snatched my share of light


Gone is the light
Alongwith my heart
To make me "Heartless"
And left is a black wound...full of puss



A poem for my favorite authors....Rohinton Mistry and GDR

.......YOU..........

In the dreams or imagination
Wherever may I roam

On the road or in theatre
Anywhere I go

Those fading memories
Stuffed in veins
Run along with blood

I can feel echo of….
Those intelligent words
The rare fighting spirit
That motivation….when I was crippled

Even with you gone…..
These treasures are safe
Bolted on innermost coils of our hearts

Yes…...we still are friends
Yes…...we sometimes do care
…but yeah…these days it remains unnoticed
Even if you don’t call




Written while in a gyan session

Pagal guy meets WBW....

As soon as He entered in my room, his all jolly mood was gone……reason being my black colored pillow and bed sheet which were originally white, thanks to dust…..kuch novels, lying here and there...big almirah with nothing inside it and a stinking blanket which has not been washed since 1 year and the pinnacle was when he saw the kitchen….total havoc……..

“Ye kya mazaak bana rakha hai, agar chadar jhaado toh kilo dust nikaltee hai… bread butter pe zinda ho…thode se kapde hain…..Himalaya achchi jagah hogi tumhare liye…shaadi kar deta hoon jaldi se,biwi aayegi tabhi sudhroge!! Bolo kaisee ladki pasand hai ? ” This was my dad, on his visit to Bangalore

This was not first time I was nervous. Friends of mine keep teasing and asking about the so called requirements…so once for all, I am doing what I do the best…penning down …..The 6 virtues of my effective Would Be Wifee(WBW)…..in the increasing order of weightage


6. Movies and music

I ask her, at 8:45 PM

Ajee Suntee ho, Nau se barah chale aj movie dekhne?
Bus paanch minute do ready hone ke liye!!

And we do reach the hall at 9:00 PM sharp…I know ladies jinka bus chale toh interval mein movie dekhne pahooche…

I have a list of rapid fire round questions for my WBW, with expected answers

ME: Amir ya SRK
SHE:SRK
ME: (rote hue) I hate him, I hate him
SHE: (giving hanky) ye lijiye…..

ME: Ayesha ya Takia, inme se kisase milogee?
SHE: Madhubala
ME: Magar ye toh option hi nahi tha!!!
SHE: hai daiyaa(sharmaate hue),apni sautan se bhi koi miltaa hai kya?

ME: REM, Pink Floyd, U2, Elvis, Mettalica, GnR…kabhi suna hai
SHE: Haan….
ME: Wow,then khoob jamegi yaar, kab suna last time?
SHE: (innocently)abhi aapne hi toh bola…..
ME: hai…..sooooo sweet


ME: All time favorite actor
SHE: Mitun da
ME: oye, he is good but what about Govinda and Rajnikant?
SHE: Teri jaat ka painda maaru,YOIYEE…....no Govinda shovinda
ME: (frightened) ye toh daakuni niklee….

But yeah, appreciating good music and movies is an asset…songs with lyrics of Javed Akhtar or God Gulzar, listening Ghazals of Jagjeet Singh and Ghulam Ali with sunset in front of your eyes do affect mood drastically, if you understand them…..


5. Outer appearance…

I am no John Abraham or Tom Cruze….Just an average Indian male with average looks…..I know that ,I do appear like a shirt on hanger so I don’t expect WBW to be heroinee…..average Indian female, in salwaar- kurta or Jeans-Shirt, with halki si smile on face and jhumke like miss Takia(please refer her photo for details )….long hairs like waterfall during night and small black bindi, so that khud ki nazar naa lag jaaye …Jhuki jhuki si palkein aur soyi soyi si aankhein…..

In short….aisee ho ki bus dekhte hi,I can listen nothing but

Chaudavi ka chand ho...............ya aaftaab ho
Jo bhi ho tum khuda ki kasam…......laajawab ho


4. Egoist Vs Moody (Tharki)

I have met many girls during the four years in engineering and one year in software industry who just think that they are from Mars and we poor earthlings are pathetic ,hopeless and sick for them...come on ,I mean the beauty what you just got because of genetic factors doesn’t make you beautiful…Not only this, pomposity everywhere
like “I am always right” kind of attitude leads to black hole only…...and ruins the family in future.

Being a big tharki myself, I admire it. My WBW would be tharki but not egoist….. so that both tharkis can chat at 12 in night…

I hate going in parties so we didn’t attend today’s party
It’s ok…even I don’t like
Abe, Bangalore ka ek chakkar laga ke aate hain guddi se
hai alla…how exciting….



3. Gutsee

What you need to be adventurous….GUTS is the word….Taking the challenge on gives a lot of fun…talk any adventure sports, for that matter and I am always raring to go

But, imagine my over adventurous WBW doing this..

Arre ,one guy claimed he is plumber and was not showing I-card so I have kept him locked in bathroom….lutera types lag raha tha, bada mazaa aaya,5 ghante se bund hai saala

Idiot, he really is a plumber!!!

Jokes apart, it really needs guts to go and face real life situations. In office or outside, you need to be bold….I consider myself as partially bold, rest would be filled by WBW..hopefully


2. Knowledge and it's expression

Those who are close to me know I much do I talk and how much I read….most of the time I prefer not to say anything …and read everything...I mean it. I feel it’s waste of energy to talk when you can write or simply don’t say anything.

So if WBW haven’t heard of or don’t want to have a taste of sci-fi, genetic theory, number system and prime numbers, bikes and cars, GDR or Rohinton Mistry ,RKN or Ruskin Bond, next gen computing or cloning, Emily Dickinson or Frost, Cricket, Feynman and Ramanujan ..ad-infinitum ….she’s gonna find me utterly boring most of the times………

For me reading is life and writing is oxygen to sustain it and under no circumstance I can compromise over it…..


1. And the award goes to …. ......
Thoda hai …...Thode ki jaroorat hai

Arre oo Sambhha,kitna inaam rakhe hai re sarkar hamree Khopadiya pe?
Sardar ….pachaas hazaar

They say it Bheja, dimaag or mind ….whatever you say…..I admire it most,like sarkaar admiring Gabbar’s Khopadiya(Brain)...I am fascinated because it’s the root of all other attributes listed above…all others can be developed…..I will not write much as mere pass khud kum hai…. WBW mein itna ho ki we both can live happily ever after and complement each other in every dimension of life.


To give up my bachelor lifestyle, these are the six simple requirements….if somebody fills them and interested, please let me know and if not, who cares!!!


For the bachelor’s who are going to complete 24 in coming October

Little Sister

Everybody embraced
.....When she arrived
But I was.......
.......little terrified

The care I was getting
....Started deteriorating

Little I knew
this worst foe was divine
Would be future secret holder of mine


We played together
Laughed together
Fought together
Grew together

Sometimes i slapped
Sometimes she cried
Sometimes we madeup
Sometimes simply denied...

On demand tea or the enforced dinner
ooph,that perfect care
is.....really....really rare

She wants to be independent
She desires to break free
Studies donot let her flee
Still........
From her cash-petty
She spends every penny

To buy
.....that discounted rakhi
.....That delicious barfi



Written for all brothers and sisters who will not meet...on this Rakshabandhan

Unn Lamho ki Naadani

mujhe na tumne samjha
na main tumhein samjha paayi
yun hi har din beet gaya
aur yun hi har raat gayi

Aaj jo dekhun mud ke peeche
yaad vo sab kuch aaa baitha
Khud ka dil dikhla pana
jab itna mushkil ho baitha

Jhutha sa abhimaan liye
hum donon apni raah chale
main na jane kahan gayi
tum na jane kahan chale


Unn rahon pe gar mud kar
tumne ek bar roka hota
toh shayad main tham jati
abhimaan na vo paida hota

Fir yun hi jhuthi aas liye
main rah tumhari dekha kii
na tumne fir aana chaha
na maine hi duri kam kii

Ummedon yun hi har gayi
sapne bhi dum tod gaye
tum ko khokar maine jaana
munjil ko ham chod chale

Ae kash na vo lamha hota
jab main tum par tab barsi thi
ya kash na vo lamha hota
jab tumne sahnaa chod diya

Abb apni yahi kahani hai
ki umar yunhi bitani hai
na tum sa abb koi aayega
na dil ko dhadka payega
koi kitna bhi chahe abb
par dil na use aapnayega


Hinduism says "Choice is an illusion" but the poet here chose to be ANONYMOUS......

What is your rating for this poem,reader?

Yaadein

Yaadon ke tinkon ki raakh se
ek hunsta hua gharonda banata hun

Yaadein,
Kuch mahakti, chidchidati aur gungunati si yaadein....

Yaadein,
Sardi ki dhoop mein chat-cricket
ya..... garmi ki raaton mein
badi daadi se Sputnik ke kisse

Jalti dupahri mein library ke chakkar
ya..... holi ki toli ke saath masti

Yaadein,
kaali soozi hui uss raat mein
woh giddh ka dansh
ya..... akelepun ka ahsas karate
mere woh anginat se ghinoune lamhe

Yaadein,
Apne dum aur khushiyan
warne waale doston kii
Ya..... unn manzilon ki
jinke darwaje kabhi khule hi nahi

Shayad kuch kami si hai inn yaadon mein
abb ek umeed hi hai

Kuch aur ladkhadati
dhundhlaati aur kumhlaati
Yaadein........

Jo mere iss rakh ke ghar mein
Sondhi si hunsi daal de


Written for Jaya-Raju,Swati-Ajit,Sudhanshu,Shailu and Kamal......who are so far yet so close......

Halka sa Ahsaas

Dhundhli si tasveer hai, halka sa ahsaas hai....
Aa jao meri panahon me dil ko har pal tumhari hi talash hai,

Roop tumahara meri in nigahon me,
narm aahen ab bhi meri saason ke paas hai,

wo tum ho ya majboori meri tanhaiyon ki,
wo tum ho ya majboori meri tanhaiyon ki,
laal palkon tale ek bas tumhari hi aas hai,

Dhundhli si tasveer hai, halka sa ahsaas hai....



A Poem by my friend Chandana...Aren't you impressed??

Chehre

Rat ki sookhi khamoshi jab bahein pasare chale aayi
sath din bhar ki kayi yadein bhi le aayi
Aur... laayi hain unke sath kai chehre

chehre
Jindagi se jujhte
juthi muskurahaton se bhare
anjan manjilon ko dhundhte
Aur... raston main tanha bhatakte

vahi kuch aur
atmavishwas se bhare
nayi manjilein dhoondhte
safaltaon ki sidiyan chadte
Aur...kabhi na ghabrate

kuch aur bhi
har pal zindagi ko jite hue
har ek pal ko poojte hue
Bin kuch khwab aur aashayein
Aur...lakshyaheen jivan ko aage le jate

In chehron mein
apna mukhauta nakami ke saath talashta hun

kyonki har din mere jine ke dhang badal jate hain
mere andaj aur mere rang badal jate hain
aaj main ek chehra hun aur kal koi doosra
jaise shatranj ki bisat pe bicha hua ek mohra

Death of Sun

This is live commentary of sunset seen from Marine Drive, Cochin.This small account is intended for the blog reader to go ,experience and share the SUNSET phenomena on their own………..today


We were sitting motionless on Marine drive …watching ships blowing horns and birds chirping and returning for their nests…almost clear blue sky with few clouds hovering here and there…. A perfect idyllic setting for any nature lover Suddenly I realized that magnet earth is attracting small in size, reddish in color –SUN.

The ally of earth, horizon used clouds as rope….who first tightens neck of sun and then entire body. Sun starts to swell as nerves have also been tied by the blackish clouds.

The color changes, blobbing continues and sun now starts bleeding….. The splash of blood partially fills blue sky and calm backwaters with crimson color. As the clouds grip, hapless sun cries “Save my soul”…..few passing by ships try save in vain……

The horizon opens its mouth wide …badly wounded, already bleeding sun goes half inside the horizon and then completely…the seagulls and crows now start to fly over backwaters to have a feast over sun’s blood ,now spilled all over.

The slow death of sun is tragic but tomorrow, a new sun will reincarnate from the womb of the same horizon……..I have seen it…...probably somewhere in Pondycherry…...

Don’t you feel like having a look on sunset?

Written for all the nature lovers……....

Mere Dost

Safed badlon ki Takiyaa sirhane rakh
Parijat Chaanv ki chadar oodhe

Aundhe Muh,main leta

Tabhi achanak,Parijat bola
"Mere Dost banoge"

Fir hari Jalkumbhi,lahrein aur unpe ithlati kirane
Hum sab dost bane
Sab milkar sagar ki chati pe khoob naache
Khushi se aankhein bhar aayi

Magar Suryast hote hi ,

mano kissi ki nazar pad gayi

Kirne Sookhi

Lahrein thami
Jalkumbhi bhagi
Aur parijat bhi raakh ki tarah kaala pada

Mera akelapun
naa dekha gaya Chandni se
"Kya mujhse dosti karoge"
Fir...........................


Main,Chandni,Taare aur Nakshatra
Hum sab dost bane
Saari raat hava ke saath jhoome
Khushi se fir aankhe bhar aayi
Aur.......................................

Suryoday hote hi
Chandni peeli padi
Taaro - Nakhshtron ko Akash nigal gaya

Aur Shapit main
fir akela rah gaya......


Written beneath the "Parijat tree",on the banks of backwaters of Kochi

A Joint-Venture production

Bus to Kerala

It was full
of strangers.plumpy and snoring

Gazing outside the big glass window
amidst the slight fog
I waited.

I waited for HER
Honking trucks passed
Breaking the sound of silence

Orion and dog star send signals
"Probably your friend slept"
wearing the cloud cover

I am too tired
Still waiting for HER

You might have seen your moon tonight
Mine is missing from past fortnight....

Unkind Words

Dear Readers,

Some personal commitments are calling me to the city Kochin from where I will come back with few poems...for the time being,I wanted to share my personel favourite poem by Anurag.


I was intoxicated
by the night,
and by the love
and by the memory of lost loves.


How my love have gone,
tossing back their hair
like the web of memory
a shimmering melody

Only unkind words
only unkind words remain


Saluting Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost

Signing off,
Saurabh

Loneliness

Is it black, blue or Red
The color of loneliness
I am confused

The crowd laughs, chats or sms's
The color changes
Sometimes it is grey, othertime it is green
I am confused

When I start enjoying the desolateness
it becomes sky blue
and when I hate
I could see Orange
I am confused

Have you ever seen
The color of Loneliness
I am still Confused……..
Are you?


Written while in a treat in form of sms’s

Aha...Those Sensational Days

I am a total believer in following lines of a great song..

आने वाला कल एक सपना है
गुजरा हुआ कल बस अपना है
हम इस गुजरे पल में रहते हैं…..

Which literally means that I believe in yesterday…who has seen tomorrow, which may not be acceptable to many. So decided to give you glimpse of my school life ,hoping even if one of my readers is able to recollect those golden days, the purpose is solved.

Nidhi and the Day of photography

Year: 1991
Month: September
Class: 4th “B”

I was having lunch with my best friend…...in fact I used to eat everything which she brought and gave her my half empty lunch box! Her name was Nidhi and still her gorgeous smile is as fresh as a daisy in my mind. She was slightly taller than me with a lovely little face ...her medium length hairs remind me of a waterfall duiring night. Her bright black eyes compensated for two slightly protruded teeth. She used to have trouble in solving math sums and was a champion artist. I was a dumbo in drawing so our combination was perfect. I used to solve her questions sometimes and she did a lot of drawing assignments for me.

Everyday, when I returned back to home, mostly Nidhi used to be in my chats with buaji with whom I was staying. Today Nidhi did this and I made her fall by pushing…..I ate all her lunch and didn’t give anything….She laughed on my torn button of shirt…..I made fun of her long hairs….I gave her a comics to read which she didn’t liked….she got highest in drawing etc used to be a daily evening report... And when buaji asked provocatively

“Shastry, Tum bade ho ke shaadi kisese karoge”? whom will you marry once you grow up
“Nidhi se” And that was it…….I was bullied by many of my relatives for several years for this answer…..

“Tomorrow photographer will come and we all will have group photograph” announced my class teacher. We both were very happy as those day, photographs were a rarity…and photography day used to be some kind of festival in our school.

Buaji combed my hairs and cautioned not to play outside..
“Photo khichne se pahle dhoop mein mat jaana,kale ho jaaoge aur photo kharaab ho jaayegi” Don’t go outside before photograph is taken otherwise you will turn black!

The photographer came with a tripod and a big camera….session started from nursery kids….finally it was announced

“Class 4th B, please make a queue and come here”

I was really excited because it was my first photo with Nidhi standing besides me…and then class teacher yelled

“All tall children would be standing and rest will sit down. Saurabh, come and sit here” echoed teacher

It was sad end of high hopes as Nidhi was standing while me sitting near my class teacher. Photographer asked everybody to smile and I tried hard to do that….Even today ,whenever I take a look at that classic photo, I feel….if Nidhi were there sitting besides me.

After class 4th we never met as her father got transferred in another city.



A typical Sunday


Year:1996
Month: March
My Sundays in those days started at 5:30 the morning with solving few chapters of RS Aggarwal’s math book for an oncoming district level math contest. Aim was to solve them quickly as “Rangoli” will start from 7:15 .

“Aaj sab log apna room saaf karenge” everybody will clean his/her room, ordered mom.
I offered a bribe of two candies to my younger sister….
she used to clean my room whereas I enjoyed watching songs Rangoli

After Rangoli ,“Chandrakanta” was next big attraction. Every family member used to watch it because of “Naugarh” and “VijayGarh”…these two “Estates” are very close to our village and the author Babu Devakinandan Khatri was actually an employee of King of Varanasi.I often used to wonder whatever miracles they showed in serial, how I can perform. Even reading some books on magic tricks were of not much help, though I learnt few tricks. From 10:00AM, it used to be Disney world and my favourite cartoon characters were all over the place.

Once this gets over, it used to be fight time….with younger sister on reasons as big as “My new pen is better than yours”
“The notebook I have is thicker than yours”
“My Goofy stickers are better than your He-Man”
Younger brother played the role of reporter and Mummy used to come yelling…..without her interruption, it was really difficult to stop the ongoing fight

At around 3:30, the colony cricket team arrived and then 1 and half hours of unlimited fun starts…few times, we used to break a window of my poor Bengali neighbour...to stop the game….

After reaching home I used to find that the Sunday movie has already half way through but still I could understand it with the help of my sister so that the next day in school,I can take part in lunch time discussion

“Arre kya laat ghuma ke maara tha Dharmedra ne Takle Shetty ko”
“Rajnikant bidi goli maar ke jala diya”
“Anil Kapoor ka kidney fail ho jaata hai”
“Arre Aakhir mein Amitabh Bachchan ko goli lag jaati hai,fir bhi bach jaata hai”

At 6:30 when movie ends, it’s time to finish home work and wait for dad to arrive with some eatables begins. The day ends at 10:00PM after “Surabhi” is finished with a “Namaskar” from Siddharth Kak and Renuka Shahane’s voice which was like sound of bangles clinking together….Wasn’t it,readers?


Because....I hate to loose

Year: 1997
Month: January
Class: 9th “A”

Being the topper of school had many advantages…every teacher knows you and admires….almost every student is familiar with your face and is always ready to help a topper. I had lots of friends but three of them were really peculiar. They were quite notorious for beating anybody …in other words, they were “Dons”. When your good friends are like that, you are bound to get influenced.

We four..Me,Goswami,Tripathy and Rajeev were very good players of hand-cricket, A cricket which involved only ball, with bat being your hand. At that time we were World Champions in our own terms.

A new talented entrant to our school Prateek started to thwart our autonomy in hand-cricket. He was a very good player and his team played well under him. We lost quite a few matches and were getting frustrated.

One day after loosing 5 matches in a row and on being taunted ... I lost it…..and smacked straight in the face of Prateek. His spectacles were on the ground and he was bamboozled……I knew that I have won it because in all the fights, who-so-ever strikes first takes the lead….and I had the guts to give the first blow….now Tripathy and Rajeev came in action….Prateek fell down and he was being beaten badly from all four of us…..boom-boom-bang-bang. Sad part was all of his friends were just watching the show…and this is real dumbness.Poor guy couldn’t do a thing apart from lodging a complain to my class teacher…And my teacher refused to believe that I was involved in such incident, though rest three were given punishment, but they never uttered that I was involved….

From that day till today, though I hate to loose,I have lost many times at many fronts….
And controlling the temper have been tough but somehow I have done this…I still feel sorry for that incident


Written for those who traveled backwards in time while reading this........

Conversations with someone you call God

I chased and finally caught him
Yes....he was someone you call God

Long was the night and our conversation
I was full of intriguing questions

why you have programmed most of us not to ask basic questions
Why there is agony to them who were never askew
And why angelic children are harassed...verbally and sexually

He sent me to a "saint" called Osho
and Osho offered nothing but mere set of fragmented words

To Someone we hate
why it is allowed to spit all hatred
.........................
And to someone we Love
Why it is not possible to show the chest...
the emotions engulfed inside choke me out

And i was asked to read JK
puzzle still was unsolved

Why your few children are born with a silver spoon
.....others in a gutter
...................................................
why your followers have blindfolded faith in miracles
.....may or may not be performed by you
Why there is a void inside me
and why I am incomplete....

I was introduced to Deepak Chopra
who was perplexed

Suddenly i realised
my dream was over
...................................................
And I am still wondering......
Was there somebody you call God??


Written for those who are confused....like me

4 Lives

Idols---the word itself instills inspiration. Almost everybody has idols…the supermen like Tendulakars,the Bachchans,the Kalams ,the Khans …..list goes ओं.Truly speaking, my life has never been completely influenced from anything…be it living or non living. But the short account of four lives I am going to present will tell you why I admire them.

They are not page 3 personalities or highly popular…they are one of us..they are achievers who have touched my life and if you look around you,you will definitely come across them in your life….they can be your own friends, relatives, parents or siblings…..

How many guys are there who can avoid brother’s
marriage for the sake of an exam?
How many of us can leave their newly wed wife for months in order to study?
How many of us can sustain the pressure of taking the same exam 8th time and that too when your family and well wishers have left all hopes and disparage you ?
And how many of you start your carreer with almost elementary knowledge of English and finally make it to leading MNC’s……the answer is not many

These four lives are no way related to each other…but they have a lot in common…they are neither geeks nor affluent by birth….all are descendents of the great Indian middle class but what differentiates them is 3D’s---dedication, determination and discipline. Here I am narrating the tale of four hardworking guys who performed miracles for themselves and their lives was changed forever……in the order of their age



Brij Anand

He is husband of my buaji(my father’s sister) and was a government clerk on adhoc at the time of marriage. An extremely hardworking person with determination to do something big…After marriage, he thought of giving up all his dreams and continue with family….but conscience won and he decided to give a shot at PCS( Provincial Civil Services). Newly wed couple had to part away for almost 6 months ……and believe me it was the toughest decision of their lives …And at that instant he knew,he will do it. The moment arrived ,lived by him and he conquered it…YES…he was now a Rank 2 officer …it was sheer perseverance and hard work that made him what he is today Sales Tax Commisioner…in retrospect, it was a long journey for a clerk on adhoc.


Dr. Hriday Narayan Singh

I call him the man with a will of steel…why?? He was brutally denied for an entry to the so called most famous coaching institute of Varanasi and he got one of the sternest remarks from any teacher to any student…..and the crime was, he attempted CBSE PMT for 8th time in a row…

“Tum jaante ho Hriday….iss poore coaching mein (of almost 5000 students and 10 teachers)mere baad sabse jyadaa umar tumharee hi hai” was the sarcastic comment by teacher...…

At an age of 27,With pressure from all side…..my man failed to succumb…..and He did it…..he cleared CBSE PMT and studied in one of the very good medical colleges in India. His long cherished dream of building a well facilitated clinic in his own village is now fulfilled……I salute your optimism…I salute your guts



Nikunj K. Srivastava

Probably out of the four lives, he is most famous…even in media too. He is my mama(mother’s brother) and the first IITian whom I knew. After leaving a well paying job in Indian Oil, when he decided to go for kill on IAS(Indian Administrative Services)exams,not many were happy…and situation became grim when he could not make it for two times in a row…third attempt had to be his last .He had to toil hard….. Every success demands sacrifice and for him, it was to avoid brother’s marriage by taking a house on rent, very close to his house so that he can study peacefully…not many could understand this unless the final results of IAS-1997 were announced….even in the wildest of his dreams, Bunty mama never thought of this….he was All India Rank 2 in mother of all exams!!!…and everyday a new reporter…interviews on local Doordrshan and lots of reports in newspapers converted him into a instantaneous celebrity….Risks taken and ability to give up the temptation have made him District Magistrate of several cities …..and a star performer of cadre -1997.


Sudhir Kumar

He is my batch mate and when I first saw his notebook, I was almost shocked.
”How come a guy doesn’t even know the meaning of word forest after passing 12th” .?
Sudhir knew this …he was terrible in English…..be it any form of it…all of us used to bully him….and suddenly he decided to go all out for it…after an year of awe-inspiring hard work, he almost knew every little word of dictionary…..even I felt jealous and proud at the same time of being a friend of such a gritty character. He overcame the hurdle of being from a remote village in Jharkand, studied in Hindi medium in a small college and finally made it to Flextronics software Systems. This terrific hard worker is now working for Motorola and still goes all out whenever needed.


After reading this, you can very well think of somebody who has inspired you. Somebody who is not a prominent figure but only his reference can infuse light inside you…. Think…an idol may be close to you

Dreams

My dreams were a pigeon
Whose wings were my ambition,
Legs were perseverance,
And eyes were motivation

The perky pigeon took off
I was following
He took me to the zenith....
That was mid way to the heaven
We both were extremely tired....

But on the top,
It was lonesome
Horrendous silence prevailed
And numerous slaughtered pigeons lied there

Butcher came
Pigeon refused to come down
“Master I beg you leave
try again with another ‘ne
though I will not be present
but keep pursuing
someday you will find the ultimate”

I, The Self-indulgent seeker
Chose to hand him to the butcher
And ,Wings were crushed
Legs were torn
finally....eyes were nailed

And again I start my selfish journey
…………………………………….



This Poem is dedicated to all those dreams of mine which never came true

Insomnia

She again eluded me
while i waited for her
in those ghastly hours
anxious about her arrival

friends got
city got
even the pair of pigeon got her
but mysterious lady didn't embrace me

And now she is leaving
with a vaunted smile on her lips

"I am neither rich nor in convalescent
still you are fleeing?"
"try to find on your own,dear"

Only if I could....
Why I never got her.....
the mysterious sleep

Life in the fast lane

I am not going to repeat another Chetan Bhagat kind of story. This blog is meant to recollect the four beautiful years which I spent in IT-BHU’s lush green campus and I am confident that it will remind your college days. I also had a small mischievous coterie but that will form another story which will be told later.

When you qualify the JEE, everything surrounding you seems to change.
People who doesn’t even know you properly start linking

“arre woh mera chota bhai hai…”
“I have known him since he started peeing!!”
“He was a very good student…I taught him in second standard…”

One of my neighbors whose window’s glass I broke from ball was caught saying
“Arre bada achcha ladka tha”..though he was pissed off from me everytime I sneaked past him.

A kind of prejudice subsides inside you and at the same time you start doubting yourself that how you will cope up in all elite company only. With these known fears, I entered into the hostel along with my father. After parents left us in this new world ,ragging was on full flow and it’s inappropriate to discuss all the nuisances of it here. You got to smoke at least once….just to show the seniors….you had to remember Institute chorus (pretty distorted song) and if you miss a single line, you got to repeat that. Once ,I was about to break when one of ‘em asked me to smell a whitish thing which he called “cocaine”, which turned out to be Nycil powder ….Ragging continued even in class to make Mama’s boys and Pop’s girls(Sadly only two) smarter….even teachers encouraged that!

Those days were nightmares as we were supposed to sleep with shoes on .And few smart guys were caught by damn smart seniors at 3 AM and alongwith them, all of us were punished…and those blokes who hesitated to get naked inside bathroom became so frank within few days that one call from seniors was enough to make a bogey…with no piece of cloth on body. All kind of weirdest things were mandatory to be performed and in true sense, ragging got some of the guys I know pretty close
forever, for whatsoever reasons. I am sure most of you have gone through this phase. Please refer Chetan Bhagat’s novel ….

Once ragging phase was over, guys from all over India started mingling with each other. They were all kinds of chaps….some were simply geeks, few were work horses while most of them were above average….but each one of them had some talent.

We used to dance and sing together during evening and it used to be first year guys only who had the maximum fun. I wondered why only first year…only to get answer in the next year. Room mates who shared same interests came closer and they are now friends for the lifetime. Luckily my mate was also a big fan of Jagjeet Singh…and after 12, we used to switch off lights, close the door and listen his soothing voice till we sleep…”sadly..now gone are those days…”

Coming to the studies , nothing was striking in first year. Courses were good but professors were too old to handle. Every subject was screwed up and nothing innovative was there. Those who were good at making notes were GOD’s for the rest and those who could learn everything by heart were amongst toppers. It was not the place which I thought that a famous institute like this would be…only to be discovered soon that I was wrong.

Second year started with Electronics core coming in picture and by then we were very much used to VT (Vishwanath temple)hangouts,Limbdi corner’s chai-samosewaala, Shuklajee’s juice ,BBC(Basketball court),Piya Milan Chauraha(PMC) and Pahalwaan’s Lassi.PMC was in front of non engineering Women’s college and was mostly clustered with guys from IT ,since the population of fairer sex was really thin in Institute.

Also few new things like overnight software contest …overnight treasure hunt (where usually, treasure was found in the filthiest bathroom of the campus!)…lots of cultural festivals and gaming contests added spice in our lives.....

All kinds of naughty things like proxy attendance , bunking classes or taking shots on teacher were very common. Sometimes, few were caught as they requested multiple guys for their proxy registration and three of them calling at the same time for same guy!!

Not so common was daring to leave the class once teacher took attendance at the beginning. This illegal activity was performed by jumping from a big window which was accessible from the topmost stair of auditorium and you got jump from a height of 8 feet from the ground. There were blokes who used to do it
with immaculate perfection unless one of them jumped from the class over our math teacher who was passing by….poor teacher got injured badly………And the window is now closed forever!!!

The most courageous activity we performed in second year was a raid on professor of Electrical motors at 11PM!! Prof was really furious when he saw 44 guys in front of his house demanding the test scheduled on next day ,to be cancelled ,as it was a public holiday. When he came out of his house along with big German Shepherd, each one of the protestors were looking for places to hide. Most of the guys were found inside a bush while those who had bicycle just ran away. Only two had the managed to talk with him … He badly scolded them and test remained scheduled…..and everyone got marks in single digit.

The booze party given by seniors at the very end of this year was as peculiar one could ever imagine. One room was full with all kinds of alcoholic drinks….beers, whiskeys and rum…with unlimited availability and interesting part was nothing to eat.That night was only to drink and get wet from the somehow disconnected water hose of garden water supply. Youthful madness was at it’s pinnacle and you could see all hundreds of drunkards completely wet….smoking cigarettes…going for their 9th peg. And next day we had an exam……….

Third year was serious ….damn serious. It was the toughest and teacher of microprocessors was one hell of a prof. He knew everything, was renowned in his area of expertise. I used to talk to him after class hours to clarify doubts. Apart from studies, we used to talk on few other issues and I came to know that he was not satisfied from himself but somehow he carried on with the burden of genius.

Few more profs who taught us were really knowledgeable and some guys got flunked in the toughest courses of our lives. Everybody use to be very studious and that’s why we are famous.. when you needed to study, we all studied. Till now boozing, smoking, spending late nights at Dhaba for chicken was common. To come back from the feast, you have to jump from a 7 ft high wall as university gates were essentially closed at 10PM.

Within first five days of campus season started almost all of us got placed in some of the biggest names and each one who got job….had to go through the ritual of taking job bumps….lots and lots of them. It is a very famous saying in IT “If you don’t get the job bumps, you will repent for it!”. Ultimately, everyone got bums minimum twice!!

Getting a job was again U-turn for some of us. It meant end of their aims and then started endless nights playing cards…or AOE(Age of empires) .The morning started at 12 and AOE starts at the same time. and till the next day 4AM, it used to be played. Same with cards…there were some clash of titans in AOE where whole hostel used to watch few geeks battling it out for as long as 5 hours! needless to say…Who cared about the studies

Two lobbies in our hostel were named India and Pakistan and there used to lot of funny fights across nations…and it started with either “India ki ………………”or “Pakistan………….”.But it reached to the height at Diwali when rockets and crackers were fired in enemy’s territory. Luckily no one got injured.

The end of this life was full of treats.. parties and promises that we will never forget each other. After these four years, boys were now converted into fully grown men and girls were more mature. The people who either became your friend under a set of circumstances or naturally were now leaving and along with them, some of your part was also going…forever. The news that all of them are doing really well in their respective profession somehow fills your heart with puff of proudness.

Gone are those days of madness to do anything….of daydreams and achieving them …of friendship and rivalry…..of many unmentionables extracurricular activities…..of dancing during cultural fests…of nightouts and ofcourse most beautiful and largest university campus in Asia.

Just recalled a verse from Jagjit Singh Ghazal...

वक़्त की शाख से, लम्हे नहीं तोड़ा करते
हाथ छूटे भी तो, रिश्ते नही छोड़ा करते....

For BHU and ECE-2005…..missing you

I will not be there when………

On my way to a long and desolate island
In search of the eternal truth
Friend sparrow stopped me
Happy was I
That I got a companion
“I need your help my dear friend”
And I was there
Only to be sidelined after ‘twas done
…….......


Few days later when I again started voyage,
A parrot stopped me
Happiness crept inside
“I need you my dear brother”
.....I was there
Again to be cornered afterwards….........

On midway through
A beautiful seagull became hurdle
She was lost in utter chaos of emotions
“Can you extricate me ….my Romeo”
And I was there to save her from spooky emotions
.....Again to be kicked off………

Now I am wandering disoriented on the island
Still in quest of that everlasting truth
Reminiscent memory particles start haunting…..

I require my friend sparrow
And brother parrot
Juliet seagull…......
Alas!! Each one of them abandons me barbarically
WHY?
SIMPLE………
………I was not needed…………

Years later
Sparrow called
Parrot also enquired
And good-looking seagull sent signals

“Am I Needed?”
“No, we miss you!...join us“


But it’s too late folks
Only lesson I learnt from this worthless life
And you all missed is
“I will be there when really needed
NOT be there when NOT needed……”